we were at costco. in the fruit and vegetable section. pondering just how many blueberries and strawberries we could eat in the next few days; costco’s quantities are not meant, necessarily, for two people. but we are berry-lovers, so it works for us. we were in the middle of deciding to get both the 57 pint container of blueberries and the 28 quart container of strawberries when i felt a presence. right next to me. close. like next to my face, only my face was turned away. i thought – is this a mystical visitation? is this a sign? i turned slowly. she was standing rightnexttome, her face inchesfrommine. i have never seen this person before. she spoke directly -and loudly- to me, “are the blueberries any good?” she asked. “it’s only me. will they stay good?” i tried to back up, but our cart was behind me and she moved forward as i moved back. i was trapped. i answered (you owe me, costco!) that they were the best berries and would last and last and that she should buy them. and then she was gone. good grief. what i wanted to say was, “get out of my space!!!”
i know you know what i mean. (insert eye-rolling emoji here.)
we used to drive in the car, ok, minivan at the time, and blastttt this kelly clarkson song called breakaway. The Girl and i would sing it loud, really really loud. i still know all the lyrics (despite the fact that i can’t remember what we did each day last week without consulting my calendar. but you know what i mean…if you are, um, my age, then you likely remember all the lyrics to all the 70s songs you listened to. ok…..what was i talking about here?)
monday’s studio melange post was about unleashing the power of your crayon, yesterday’s was living without fear. today’s is called break away. hmm. a theme is quietly emerging.
one of my favorite quotes of michelle obama, “when they go low, we go high” reminds me of this – the power of breaking away from the masses, the power of unleashing YOUR crayon with an eye to the center, the power of living without fear. break away indeed.
it was close to midnight and we were on a pretty windy and mountainous road (might i mention with no guardrails?!) The Girl was driving and all of a sudden the deer ran out from the side, sprinting across right in front of us. she handled it like a pro; driving these roads can be stressful and dangerous, but she is level-headed and careful, a really good driver. and she kept us all safe. i was grateful it didn’t just stand there staring at the glare of our headlights.
i taught at a school in florida a longgg time ago. it was 1982 and i was in the teachers’ lounge eating a small snack lunch with one of the teachers, my friend lois. there was a group of teachers in there, all gathered around the stove (this alone seemed pretty bizarre to me – a stove in a teachers’ lounge. who has that kind of time??) they were cooking something in a large cast-iron frying pan, an economy size container of crisco on the counter next to the stove. i was new at the school and i was still trying to make friends, so i asked what they were cooking. “possum,” i was told. (possum?? insert grossed-out emoji face.) here’s the part where i slipped up: i -in all sincerity- said that i hadn’t seen possum in the meat counter at publix and asked, “where do you purchase possum?” without blinking (no pun intended) they told me that they go out most nights “shinin'” in the woods, snaring animals to hunt with the use of headlights. “you never know what you’re gonna get!” they added. i never really fit in there.
recently, while perusing facebook (which i actually don’t do all that often) i came across a post by My Boy. he had made homemade ravioli for dinner. wait! what?? homemade ravioli??? now, this requires making pasta from scratch as well as stuffing it with a delicious tuscan sausage mix. just sayin! this is the same person who, long ago now, used to be able to live on honey buns and swedish fish. he has amazed me time and again with his creative cooking and the photographs he has sent of yummy meals. one day he grilled shrimp out on his deck for dan and me and d. just as thoughtful as the birthday he made me mac and cheese after a long evening i had spent volunteering, but, i have to admit, much tastier.
the first time My Girl made us dinner we had gnocchi and an excellent sausage sauce. i hadn’t had gnocchi in years – since i had it with the hot chics in montana – and her recipe immediately made it onto our ‘what-should-we-have-for-dinner’ list of possibilities.
these are the same two human beings who would ask, ” what’s for dinner?” now i find myself asking them. funny how cooking creativity blossoms in each next generation.
i wish. i wish stress brought out my sense of humor. i suppose that sometimes it does. but more consistently would be a good thing. how does worrying help, anyway?
this is not my favorite FLAWED CARTOON. although it does actually make me laugh aloud, it also makes me cringe. (and, to take it further, it makes me want to be vegan.)
in the story i tell myself, she puts down the talking-intervention-chicken and it becomes a free-range fowl, roaming with plenty of fresh vegetation, sunshine and open space for exercise.
but the real question is, what IS an exact science? virtually nothing.
have you ever stood in your life’s moment – right now – and looked back a decade or two or maybe three and thought, “i never would have thought i’d be here/i’d be doing this”?? just a couple days ago, michele said, “if you had told me twenty years ago that i would be playing a gong for a room full of people, i would have said you were crazy!” and yet, she had just had this remarkable experience playing for others, born of practice and study and a new-found love of the instrument.
magic is not an exact science. art is not an exact science – in any of its forms. science is not an exact science. it all makes us realize that, indeed, life is not an exact science.
yesterday on her way out of church one of my friends stopped to talk to me. she said (words to the effect) that the only reason she was able to sing the last song (which was o beautiful for spacious skies) was because the last line has the expression “self-control” in it. more specifically, “america! america! God mend thine every flaw, confirm thy soul in self-control, thy liberty in law.” she asked if i had picked it intentionally, this one patriotic song she felt she could actually sing at this moment in time – beCAUSE of the expression “self-control.” i couldn’t stake claim to the wisdom of picking this one; ptom had requested it weeks earlier for yesterday. but i understood her completely.
self-control. america. it doesn’t seem, these days, that these go together. if you’ve ever had the chance to look at a small child’s coloring book – you know, the ones where they have puzzles in them also…the one where there are four shapes, for example, three circles and a square and at the top of the page it says, “circle/color the shape that doesn’t go with the others”, you will know what i mean when i say this. perhaps there is a coloring book page with the words “america”, “division”, “polarity”, “untruths”, “inequality”, “retrograding” and “self-control”; the directions on the top of the page read “circle the word that doesn’t go with the others.” you would be hard-pressed to NOT circle “self-control”. so i understand marykay’s ability to sing this song with the YEARNING of the soul of God confirmed in self-control.
this coming sunday, the other weekend flanking this week of the fourth of july, the sending hymn will be this is my song, lyrics by lloyd stone and georgia harkness with music by jean sibelius (the tune of finlandia) and i AM choosing it intentionally. these are the lyrics:
this is my song o God of all the nations, a song of peace for lands afar and mine. this is my home, the country where my heart is; here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine; but other hearts in other lands are beating with hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.
my country’s skies are bluer than the ocean, and sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine. but other lands have sunlight too, and clover, and skies are everywhere as blue as mine. so hear my song, o God of all the nations, a song of peace for their land and for mine.
this is my prayer, o God of all earth’s kingdoms, your kingdom come; on earth your will be done. o God, be lifted up till all shall serve you, and hearts united learn to live as one. so hear my prayer, o God of all the nations; myself i give you; let your will be done.
for the world i want to live in is a world of peace. it is people (each of us striving individually and in community) in a world continuing to move toward MORE unity, MORE equality, LESS judgment, MORE truth, LESS division, MORE generosity, LESS polarization, LESS elitism, MORE inclusiveness, LESS hatred, LESS self-serving indulgence, LESS excuses, MORE respect, with the soul of God (or whatever you call this spiritual magnificence) clearly demonstrated in our mindful self-control.
remember that day in school when the teacher passed out timed tests and told you to have a pencil ready? she or he specifically said to “read all the instructions first and read through the test before you begin.” and then – silence.
you grabbed your pencil, chewed nervously on the eraser or the side of it, put your name at the top and started answering questions as fast as you could, skipping the instructions or reading through it.
you got to the last question and it read “go back to the beginning and put your name at the top of this page and only answer question 1” (or some other such verbiage nonsense like that.) dang.
there’s something to be said for reading instructions. patience, baby, patience.
so, one of my least favorite things is calling customer service. of any company. insurance companies, airlines, stores, online retail, the cellphone company, and the worst-the cable company.
one day recently i literally called time warner cable to inquire about a less expensive plan. of course, the company has been acquired by spectrum, so i was talking to the spectrum folks. but, at the time, my bill still had “time warner cable” on it, so i figured that they were still somehow in the game.
i explained to the gal on the line what i was looking for, the reason for my call. this was misunderstood time after time, until i just blurted out “i want a cheaper plan!” she then proceeded to tell me that she would research that for me. holdholdholdholdholdholdhold……
she came back on the line to tell me -excitedly- that she was able to find a fabulous new spectrum plan for me and that i could sign up right away, over the phone. here’s the thing (the moment i was hit by the customer-taser): the new plan was $35 a month MORE than the one i already had and about which i was calling to negotiate. what?!?!?! i asked her if she understood what she had just told me. she (again, excitedly) said she did and that she could sign me up right away.
i told her i didn’t want to talk on the phone with her anymore. 45 minutes of wasted life. a taser would have been more honest.
my sweet momma had a sweet nose. but somewhere along the line my poppo, using a derivative of her first name ‘beatrice’ nicknamed her “beak” and, for a time, all hell broke loose. she railed against his perceived slamming of her nose (which was actually a perky little nose) and was questioning of his continued use of his (now) beloved nickname when it irritated (“irked”) her. “beak” morphed into “beaky” – the name by which everyone under the sun knows and loves her. eventually, she even grew to love her nickname and proudly wore a gold necklace my dad had specially made for her (no, surprisingly, “beak” necklaces are not mass-produced!) our sweet beaky-beaky. ohmygosh, how i miss her.
reverse threading 