reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


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the hype of joy. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

the hype is on.

anywhere we go now – the home improvement store, costco, various other sundry-type stores – it has become the holiday season.

frankly, this year i understand it. i could even go so far as to say i embrace it.

people are looking for light and walking through the doors into a winter wonderland of decorations and holiday hoopla is most definitely somewhat spirit-lifting.

in our sunroom, on top of the little wooden cabinet that holds espresso cups and cloth napkins, right next to the nespresso machine, is a little stack of wooden boxes. the bottom box is a cigar box that was my grandmother mama dear’s. it has a magic marker letter Z on it because she, an amazing seamstress, stored zippers in it. next is a wooden box with a sliding lid – from my poppo’s workbench – that held bolts and now holds vintage clothespins. then – on the top – the piece de resistance – is the old wooden box-joint/dovetail cornered bakery crate from the mid-1900s. hanscom’s bakery was in philadelphia and used these wooden crates for their popular holiday fruit cake.

now, i realize that fruit cake will elicit a wide spectrum of visceral responses. i think, actually, that most people do not like fruit cake – rum and brandy soaked with sweet fruits and nuts and citron topping. it’s likely a texture thing. or a sweet fruit thing. or the fact that one piece could keep an army of people full for a very long time. nevertheless, i grew up on fruit cake.

my sweet momma would buy them in those familiar metal tins and we’d each have a chance to, well, at least pretend we were enjoying it. in later years, she gave each branch of the family a fruit cake of their own. it sort of marked the beginning of the holiday season, like poinsettias and wreaths.

anyway, the wooden box is exquisite and was also in my dad’s garage workshop and is one of my inherited treasures from him. and right now, i am delighted that its presence in our sunroom – where we are spending sooo much time with – and helping – our sweet vestibular-syndromed-dogga – might mark a start to a holiday season of light.

in the rest of decorating, we will wait a while. i’ll try to hold off until thanksgiving so as to relish the rest of fall, my favorite season.

but then, all bets are off. and i will join with the retail world in the hype – even perhaps overdoing the joy.

because, heck, we sure could use some more joy now.

fruit cake? not so much. but joy? absolutely.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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the tippy top. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

…and now, quite near the very tippy top of our tree branch out on the deck – the one with happy lights and a peace sign – the one where tiny birds perch to rest (and our branch smiles) – the one that was broken off our sturdy old tree in the front yard – now, there are blue lights.

because.

and so, the last two nights – wednesday and thursday – when we have looked out of our sunroom windows a shiver has passed through me.

it is a shiver of gratitude. it is a shiver of some relief. it is a shiver of pride. it is a shiver of anticipation.

there are no guarantees, but we – as a nation – from sea to shining sea – have spoken up.

we have clung to ideals of morality and decency and democracy. with our vote, we have lit up hope.

today is friday again and – for the first time in a long time – it has been a good week for the united states of america.

*****

HOPE © 2004 kerri sherwood

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the seagull and the wave. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

….and the seagull stood

on the edge of the blue wave

watching and watching

filled with gratitude

for this nation that fought back

against all evil

he will stand there now

like the rest of us here, with

relentless courage

as this tide rolls, he

contemplates what’s next so that

goodness will prevail.

*****

read DAVID’s haiku this D.R. THURSDAY

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breathe in hope. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

late-late last night, with cautious hope, we went to sleep.

early-early this morning, with cautious hope, we rose to a new day.

we keep breathing…inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale….

with gratitude for a nation of people who spoke up, stood up, rose up, and voted.

with gratitude for younger and remarkably diverse candidates – with spectacular talent and vision.

holding to this blue wave with tenacity, knowing the road forward will not be easy.

but it is lined with the reminder of decency and morality, integrity and a staunch belief in democracy.

inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale…

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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the choice. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

it’s that simple.

what is the future you choose – for you, your children, your grandchildren, the populace of this nation, the health and well-being of the entire world?

dictator or democracy?

there’s no more time.

decide carefully.

please vote.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY


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do your part. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

read. think. vote.

it would seem obvious.

and desperately important.

because perhaps – in exercising your citizen rights and duties – you should be as informed as possible.

because perhaps – in exercising your citizen rights and duties – you should balance what you have learned with what moral integrity actually means and determine where – on the continuum – you honestly stand.

because perhaps – in exercising your citizen rights and duties – you should seek the truth – not just the bandwagon hooplah of your political bubble, the one that excuses you from any other research.

because perhaps – in exercising your citizen rights and duties – you should maybe feel protective of your citizen rights and duties.

because perhaps – in exercising your citizen rights and duties – you should vote for that which will ensure you continue to have these citizen rights and duties.

read. think. vote.

yup. it’s obvious.

and it’s desperately important.

do your part.

please.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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in the fog with dogga. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

when the fog lifts, we are hoping that our beloved dogga will be more himself.

it happened the beginning of this week. suddenly, for no apparent reason whatsoever, dogga collapsed. he was unable to stand, to walk, his eyes were jerking back and forth (nygastum) and he was dizzy and, clearly, terribly nauseous. it was pretty terrifying to witness this strong, vibrant dog suddenly incapable of movement, confused and scared.

vestibular disease (IVD) affects the balance system and comes on without warning. with symptoms that look horribly like a stroke, between reading dogcare sites, joining an online group and calls to veterinarians, we became aware of this syndrome (actually, a group of symptoms) we had never heard of before.

our world reduced to the sunroom.

we padded the floor with more non-skid rugs and cleared the room of extraneous stuff.

then we sat on the floor with our dogga and gently petted him, trying to ground him and keep him reassured.

we sat. and we sat. and we still sit…on the floor with him.

we moved an air mattress into the dining room (right next to the sunroom) and slept right next to him, waking multiple times during the night to help him move or to clean up from his extreme nausea.

for days now, we have not ventured further than the sunroom, though david carries dogga outside while i bring the big beach towel that serves as a sling to help hold him up.

we are learning presence and patience. we are leaning into hope.

when the fog lifts – and they say that sometime after 72 hours things should improve – we hope that he is able to be the dogga he knows he is, for we can see in his eyes he has no idea what has happened.

he’s been drinking water on and off when we hold it directly under him and on wednesday he ate the tiniest bit when i hand-fed him some chicken and rice. it is a very slow process and everything seems to be in slow motion here.

in a time when people are so divisive and angry and mean-spirited, i have found that there is a community of generous people whose dogs have experienced this who are out there, ready to help with reassurance and wisdom that comes from being through it. politics do not enter into the equation, not one little bit. instead, the opposite – compassion.

as i write this (on thursday) i remember late last night – also sitting at our little bistro table in the sunroom with dogga resting. last night we watched the milwaukee brewers win the world series and the fireworks went off in our neighborhood all around us. probably one of the worst days for dogga to hear fireworks, we both jumped back down to the floor to help shield him from the noise that frightens him. we tried to explain to him why people were so excited that they were shooting off fireworks. i could see what looked like a literal fancy firework display coming from just around the corner. it was an exciting night for milwaukee and wisconsin and it just took a few minutes to calm dogga back down while the fireworks eased up.

when the fog lifts – and dogga is past these crucial hours of this disease – we hope he returns to us as the dogga who jumps on the bed with his candy cane, who races in circles around the yard when the dachshunds are out next door, who noisily demands treats and happily follows us around the house. we hope the zillion words and expressions he knows are still present with him and that his confusion in the blurry world he is in right now begins to quickly wane. we hope that he feels better.

the thing we are sure of? when the fog lifts we will have spent every moment in the fog with him. and we wouldn’t have it any other way. we will walk with him out of the fog into whatever comes his way and will deal with it all one day at a time. dogga will still be dogga, regardless.

all things are possible – as long as he knows he is loved and we are right here with him.

and, geesh, isn’t that something we might all take into the rest of our lives?

*****

WHEN THE FOG LIFTS © 1997 kerri sherwood

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standing tall. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

they stand tall. way, way above our heads.

reaching more than twice our height for the sky, these reeds populate the wetlands along the river trail. they do not bow their feathery heads, instead holding firm on seemingly delicate stalks, grouping together like a moshpit of band fans close to the apron of the stage with arms raised in the air.

their standing-tall is not compromised, not by rain or wind; they are resilient and there is nothing stopping them from their stance.

it is this way i believe that institutions should hold themselves – standing tall – with no reason to hide from or abdicate responsibility – with every reason to be able to proudly, resolutely be held accountable, to maturely shoulder the flak that will come their way for any wrongdoing, to answer to blame with humility and a determination to be better.

and yet – just like you – over and over, more and more now – particularly now – i find myself witnessing institutions that out and out refuse culpability, refuse to honestly account for the consequences of their actions or their inaction, cavalierly slough off any liability for things heinous.

reeds do their part in the wetlands – to help with erosion, to ensure natural water filtering, to aid in wildlife habitat.

institutions apparently do their part as well – with hypocritically and deliberate public faces of intelligence, reasonableness, compassion and integrity, way too many actually seek to avoid – at all costs – any true atonement of wrongdoing.

it is filthy disgusting.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

INSTRUMENT OF PEACE 48″ x 91″ mixed media
with powerful words from the prayer of st. Francis

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goodness. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

dogga had had lunch and snicky-snack was about three hours away. he seemed to be in good spirits and looked to be about to take his early afternoon nap. it was a beautiful day – absolutely gorgeous – blue sky, sunny, warm. so, for the first time in a long time, we decided to go hike the loop river trail. got our stuff together and drove down to the trailhead.

the white asters were blooming in the underbrush, the milkweed’s seedpods were splitting, with silky white filaments exploding from them. tiny purple blossoms were open to the sun and three snakes lined our way. a gorgeous day in the woods.

and then, the dandelion! this dandy hanger-on-er happily positioned itself around the bend and, as i approached, it smiled.

we are rapidly approaching the very end of october and, yet, here was this brilliant brightest yellow, reminding me that truly beneficial things do survive – the dandelion’s whole flower and stem nutritious for all the critters. this little flower. hanging on.

i suppose that is a good lesson for us all – particularly as we approach this midterm election: goodness does survive.

many people are out there voting early now. the ads and extreme pundits are getting uglier. the administration is losing whatever is left of their depraved minds.

but good people are also getting loud, louder.

please join with the dandelions out there. be the brilliant brightest everywhere, be what is beneficial for our country.

please be goodness.

please vote for goodness.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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constant constancy. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

it feels like a bit of a homecoming. this trail is so familiar. yet it has been some time since we have been there, spending time on it. our absence – and its absence in our daily life – has not changed how it feels, though. that feeling we get – with our feet on its dirt – is still the same.

there is a constancy to some things. even in this ever-changing world, some things last.

this is the place we go to sort…a footpath that takes us through meadow and woods, bog and swamp and riverside.

each time we hike through – whether we have just been there or if it has been a long while – the trail reaches out to us – tendrils of soft air swirling around us – empty space for words or sighs or silence. it is a blank palette. we can choose to fill it or leave it blank – taking from it only what we need, knowing it will be there again the next time.

in these times of so.much.chaos, it feels like an imperative to find that which stays steadfast. instead of feeling like we are being whirled around, impacted by twisted intentions or mean-spirited cruelty, it is a matter of grounding to connect to the people or places or things that hold steady.

maybe it’s because of all the chaos, but we are finding that there are fewer and fewer of those people, places and things. does it just seem as though community is shrinking?

we wish we could be on the ditch trail or the trail up alongside the brook to the high mountain meadow. but for right now, this simple river trail brings us peace – with all its familiar twists and turns, the places we know to look for turtles, the sun patches where snakes sometimes sunbathe, the hawk’s screech overhead, the elusive deer in the briarpatch on the north end and in the woods down by the big curve in the river. just knowing it keeps us comforted, reassured.

the trail is relatively impervious to what is happening in this nation. fortunately, nature is doing its thing there and, for now, the trail and forest preserve are protected against invasive species and other things that would negatively impact it. it holds steady as the trail, not budging in its tender caregiving to the people who walk upon it, people who seek its quiet and its tenacity to maybe avoid this society’s current unrelenting assault on all their senses.

we are two of those people. grateful for this beautiful dirt path, grateful for its constant thick-and-thin constancy.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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