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Category Archives: flawed wednesday


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be informed. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

it is incumbent upon us as we hike to be as familiar as we can with vegetation that may be harmful. it would not serve us well to go plowing though poison ivy or linger in poison hemlock. we need to be able to discern the difference between cow parsnip and giant hogweed. we need to be informed.

were we on the pacific crest trail we would need to be able to instantly recognize poodle dog bush and to stay away from stinging nettle and poison oak. we would need to be discerning. we would need to be informed.

in this day and age, being informed has become easy. most of us carry in our back pocket or our purse the potential to research anything. absolutely anything. to avoid danger. to make choices. to exercise good judgment. to stay up to date. in a fast-moving world, we need to be informed.

and yet, in this incredibly dangerous time in our country, there are those who are complacent – who have turned a blind eye to what is happening. granted – it is hard to find the truth of it all, for this administration wishes to obscure all that it is really doing and couch what they do portray to the public eye as making america grrrrreat. but, it feels like our duty to at least try and discern what might be harmful to us and to those who follow us in future generations.

which brings me to the bbb – the big ___ bill – which i out and out refuse to call “beautiful”.

if one is not really paying attention – really, really paying attention – one might miss some of the really “great” rhetoric in that bill. because in the middle of all the schlemiel schlimazel blahdeeblah skewed propaganda about money and money and more money (benefiting the wealthy money-ladened oligarchs and gluttonous corporations among us – the greedy end goal of this administration) there are some nasty little hidden secrets.

if one is just riding the edges of the media – or if one is utterly and fully ensconced on the big red wagon – one is hearing about the money-money parts of this b-b-bill, the isolationist parts of this b-b-bill, the mass deportation intentions of this b-b-bill, but nothing about, say, the very real possibility of not being able to hold this government in contempt or even accountable. or perhaps one should foray into what the b-b-bill says about immigration or co-opting military force against the citizens of this country or maybe the decimation of social programs and safety nets or the desecration of national lands, resources, education or healthcare or-or-or… a little discernment goes a long way. we need to be informed.

the not-so-beautiful-but-actually-quite-gruesome-bill, the one that will affect every single one of us, sans the billionaires among us, is lurking in dark corners, hiding its every project 2025 intention, threatening this democracy in every way.

and we absolutely need to be informed.

you simply cannot wander – uninformed – into poisonous underbrush and not be poisoned by it.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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fog. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

dense fog.

inland, you wouldn’t know.

inland it is sunny and warm.

but here – on the coast of lake michigan – with very specific circumstances – we are socked in with fog. it rolled in on cloudy waves. it lingers in the trees and hangs over the street. it brings with it a damp cold – much different than a couple miles inland. the lakefront is its own weather system.

it was a foggy morning, soupy and grey. we put on extra layers. we left to hike one of our favorite river trails. it was sunny there – so much so that we were shedding those extra layers of clothing.

and, then, on that same day in the early evening, we watched the advection fog stake claim to the neighborhood again, just as it had done that morning and for the past mornings.

all the same day.

and so we sat in the quiet of the fog as it surrounded us, our home, our ‘hood.

and, just as we didn’t know what the people in the sun were doing, neither did they know we were sitting in a blanket of dense fog.

we don’t know what we don’t know.

but isn’t it our job – as humans living in nation-wide community with each other – to seek knowledge of the other? of others’ circumstances?

are we culpable for an awareness of other-ness?

if i am on the lakefront and you are inland, do i care about you, do you care about me?

is there a line – somewhere between the lake and inland or in this country – that divides the needs of the people? is there a line – somewhere between the north and the south, the east and the west – that divides the needs of the people? is there a line – of race, of ethnicity, of orientation, of birth circumstance, social ladder-climbing, status, society’s trappings – that divides the needs of the people? is there a line – somewhere between the haves and the have-nots or the have-it-alls and the have-nothings – that divides the needs of the people?

where is compassion? a sense of decency? of humanity?

there is – apparently – no line that is too low for what is happening in this country now.

how is it that people – real people – mean so little to this administration?

and i think about those people – humans – who are cheering this on. i wonder how they have been seduced.

have they read the bills, the laws, the executive orders, the project, the intentions?

do they realize that this is decimating our country – the same country that is their country?

do they even give a second to wondering how all this cruelty, greed, destruction, moral corruption is “great”?

is their lack of concern because it does not directly impact them…yet? do they even know if it does?

is their state of great glee because it’s sunny where they are right now?

do they know that weather systems are not static, that they travel and affect communities at will, that it could be them next?

how can they linger in their cold dense fog – oblivious and unconcerned?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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vine-vigilant. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

 

it captured my attention – not only because it was visually interesting, but maybe also because it was the day after the hands-off protest we had attended.

the vine aggressively climbing up this tree reminded me of a snake – like a boa constrictor – winding, wrapping, attempting to suffocate its prey.

and that reminded me – merely a hop, skip and a jump away in my mind – of what is happening in this country right now.

we are being suffocated.

in the middle of the noise, the middle of the reeling, the middle of hideous stories, unthinkable images, the blah-blah-blah of the corrupt, walking in the sickness of this leadership, there is an insidious vine wrapping its way around the throat of democracy.

and – it is likely the quietest parts about which we should be most angst-ridden.

for while all the hoopla is going on, while we are participating in their shell-game, while there are too many fires to extinguish, they are deftly filling the gaps of what they are suffocating-to-death with the deranged and dangerous dreams of power and control.

and before we know it, the beautifully diverse american family tree that had stood so steadfastly in the forest will be overshadowed by the choking vine of autocracy, the darkness of fascism, stifling adversity. democracy uprooted and smothered.

as i pass by the vined tree in the woods – just off the narrow trail – i realize there is much to be done.

we must eradicate the vines, remove the roots and prevent regrowth – all while minimizing damage to the tree. and we must be vigilant, watching for any new vines that emerge from the dirt.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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the exquisite. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

in these days we are waking very early. our old dogga is hungry, maybe a little stiff, needing to get up and get us moving. and so we do. we open blinds and let the sun rise through our windows. we sit with our coffee against pillows in a bed we have now lowered closer to the floor for dogga. we listen to the birds and our pond gurgling. it is quiet. really quite exquisite.

we wake to the beautiful barebones of this universe – and sit in appreciation, silent as we listen and absorb the dawn of this next day. we are both very, very aware of this gift of time, this gift of stillness. we revel in the simplest of things for it is the simplest of things with which we surround ourselves; our budget is squishy-tight and we try our best to abide by the premise of ‘less is more’.

and it is in those moments – the moments of rays across our quilt, coffee in our hands, dogga at our feet – the moments of listening – that i can’t understand.

i can’t understand how anyone – particularly any person in any influential position of leadership – can wake up in the morning with evil-agendized intent in their heart. i can’t understand the superficiality of wanting-it-all, needing-it-all, having-it-all. i can’t grok the indecency of plotting against persons, peoples, missions, goodness.

i wonder how it is that one can wake so conversely differently, full of dreadful scheming. i wonder how it is that those people are of the same humankind. i wonder what twisted them, what broke their connection to morality, what tore the silken filaments of the recognition of unconditional beauty from them. what maelstrom enveloped their souls and trapped them in an eddy of cruelty.

we sit on the deck and look to the sky through the mixup of branches above us to the north. dogga lays nearby and the sun is sinking lower, the dusk sky an ombré canvas.

and – like many of you, i suppose – i still can’t understand. and it still doesn’t feel real.

but it is. and there are those – waking up yesterday, today, and – with nothing stopping them – likely, tomorrow – the textures of our woven universe unimportant, their own needs driving corrupt obsessions of power and control, their view of the world – this country – dark, their actions ruthless and cavalier, each of them impervious to the exquisite.

and the barebones of the universe sigh deeply, grief spilling into the technicolored chiaroscuro sky of dawn, the ink of dusk.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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layer cake. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

it hurt my teeth to just LOOK at it.

layered cotton candy cake.

truly – four layers of “artificially flavored” cotton candy in the form of a cake that you can actually “slice”.

who buys this stuff??

it would seem to me that in these days there is more than enough unhealthy, artificially-flavored, reality-ignoring, adoringly-capitulating, propaganda-pontificating, pretend-christianizing, fascist-apologizing, putridly-patriotic, extremist-venom to last us the rest of all time.

why we would need a cotton candy layer cake is beyond me. we are already steeped in an unhealthy actual sickness far beyond what any artificial sugar high might create. we are walking – living and breathing – in the sociopathically-evil-revenge-filled-conscience-free-greed-driven-corrupt mind of this administration.

it takes one glance at social media to witness this, to see this real moment in our history streaming alongside the layers of complicity, silence, distilling, distracting, lying, hubris-shouting, bigot-screaming, shell-gaming – all part of the rah-rah-cheering-squad layer cake.

how much more artificial flavoring do we need?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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blank foam core. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

i found the foam core board in the attic while i was trying not to step in between the floor joists. i was carefully looking for something in a box, placing my socked feet on the old piece of paneling that covers a small part of this tiny room under the rafters. leaning up against the wall and straddling two joists was this cellophane-wrapped blank foam core. making a mental note that it was there, i backed out of the attic – because turning around while bending over – which is necessary – bending over, that is – is almost an impossibility. one does not want to mistakenly place one’s foot through the plaster ceiling of the living room below. (this, by the way, is the reason i go into the attic rather than sending d…just in case any foot goes through the ceiling…i’d rather it be mine….for obvious reasons.)

when we heard of the protest early this month i went back up into the attic and retrieved the foam core, dusted it off and got ready to write on it.

which brings me to my question.

if you had a piece of foam core and one of those really thick intensely smelly magic markers, what message would you write?

because it is time to speak up. way past time.

who are you? what does your heart say? what does your conscience say? what kind of america do you want? what kind of america would you like to pass on to your children and grandchildren?

is it a supportive country that generously embraces the unlimited potentiality of its melting pot of different people? or is it a cruel isolated land where every evil move hinges on how it benefits only the wealthiest and the extremists among us, marginalizing the rest?

are you rah-rah-ing the fall of democracy? or are you stunned beyond belief that we are facing authoritarianism in this country – literally i’s-dotted-t’s-crossed – in the matter of a few days?

what is your truth?

what would you write?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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what now? [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

the sky set softly on the end of the day. it was chilly on the patio, though still. any wind off the lake had eased up. it had been a day.

we attended the hands-off protest here in our town. i had some trepidation before we left to go. still too close in memory are the riots from 2020. still too close are the screaming-loud trucks-with-flags driving around our neighborhood before the election. still too close is the distorted reality that we witness from people who voted for all this destruction, chasms of morality difference. still too obvious is the hyped-up aggression we are witnessing every day. too much to bear is the annihilation of civil rights, impartial justice, checks and balances based on the rule of law. trepidation seems appropriate.

but the protest was inspiring. heartening. people – regular folks – rising up for the rights and freedoms of our constitution, speaking up for our democracy.

the footage around the country – big cities and small towns all – of people – neighbors and friends and strangers – all standing together to clutch onto every filament of this republic.

and i wondered, “what now?”

for fighting fascism from this side of the election seems much more onerous than from the other side – before the election – when people needed to completely grok the far-reaching impact of their very important vote.

we have an arduous journey in front of us. and i know so many of us are already exhausted.

we took a nap later, after we got home.

and the sun set softly in the sky.

and everything looked normal.

only it isn’t.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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what you don’t know. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

i’m not sure why no one early in my life mentioned to me that thru-hiking the appalachian trail or the pacific crest trail – or any long trail for that matter – was a possibility. sans internet or social informant i feel like i totally missed this information and – more so – this opportunity. neither of my parents were hikers and long island wasn’t really a granola outdoorsy hiking kind of place. my spare time was spent at the water, on the water, in the water – the sound and the ocean were the guiding lights there. but what you don’t know you don’t know.

so now, here we are – in our sixties – both pretty enamored of the idea of thru-hiking. consequently, we watch the videos of many, many hikers – as you know – studying their gear and their processes, their fortitude and their bliss, their bag-meals and their tiny stoves and – for me, especially – their water filtering systems and photography methods.

one of my favorite field trips is to REI. though we are clear – and, probably, ridiculously obvious – in our lack of knowledge about likely ninety percent of the items there, we love wandering and dreaming, pondering aloud the merits of each piece of gear we see. we linger near the coffee systems and the sleeping pads, knowing that both coffee and sleeping would be paramount.

and over by the EAT sign at the store are the most amazing bag-meals – of every sort. so many options, though pricey, they eliminate our fantasy of some chef bamboo-picnic-basket-droning in our evening dinner with a tiny box of wine and wine glasses. in reality, it is more likely to find us with the tortillas and peanut butter, tuna bags and ramen – practical, inexpensive, lightweight – that are commonplace in backpacks all along the trails. we dream anyway.

nevertheless, every time we go to REI, it, once again, occurs to me that i was uninformed which in turn makes me wonder, wonder, wonder about what else i was uninformed. we immerse in learning. because it is a good thing to learn.

as time marches on in the corrupt takeover of our country, i have found there is much i did not learn before. reading historical recounting – now – that gives context to today’s grab at authoritarianism stuns me at times. “i-didn’t-learn-that-did-you-learn-that???” has come out of my mouth more than once.

i’m astounded at the connecting-of-dots and what the perspective that this country’s true history have revealed about what is happening now.

i’m disgusted by the gross efforts to thwart access to this information, to bury our history, to distort the truth of this country’s difficult and ugly path.

it is insanity to whitewash the timeline of these united states . we have much to learn from our past – so much possibility to learn from our mistakes, the opportunity to grow as a democracy, to come ever closer to the intended dream of e pluribus unum.

sweeping it all under the rug instead reveals the underlying evil intention – pure evil – for the “great again” is not really great at all. it is the elimination of fought-for civil rights, the oligarchic hoarding of money, the plundering of lawful checks and balances, the annihilation of justice, the imbalance of power, the dumbing-down of the populace, the retribution tour of a small soulless man and his rabidly-panting project-overtake puppet-cronies all hungry for bright white control.

it is a good thing to learn.

because what you don’t know you don’t know.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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build the cairns. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

and 66 years ago today my sweet momma anxiously awaited her very next day – the day she would have surgery and i would be born. i’m grateful for her courage to have another child – even after almost a decade had gone by. i’m grateful for her bravery knowing there would be a caesarean section and recuperation, discomfort. i’m grateful for her fortitude to have me, even though she was older than most other moms having babies. and so, on that next day, i found my way home – into the air and the sun, a place of dandelions and daffodils.

home is sometimes elusive. we watch many people chase it on house hunters, seeking big and new and granite-y and double-sinked and updated and maintenance-free. we look around us – in our living room under a furry throw – at our old plaster walls, wood floors and the et al of a 1928 house – and we express gratitude. we are not chasing home. we are there. we have found each other and that – that very thing – has brought us home.

it is rare that we must follow cairns while hiking, as we are not in the backcountry as much as we wish to be. but if it is that one day we thru-hike long trails, then we will follow stacks of rocks to help us find our way. we will count on them as guideposts.

during this time of utter chaos in our country, we are not recognizing things and people around us – near and far – as the home we have understood. we are astounded by the fast changes and the cheering squad supporting the overturning of goodness. the guideposts of normal have disappeared, the landmarks are skewed. wise cairns have been demolished. we are disoriented.

we took a walk along the lakefront in our ‘hood. right over by the beach house where we had the food truck, daisy cupcakes and bonfire of our wedding, there was a path down to the beach. we took it.

oftentimes, there are cairns on this sand – beautiful towers of lakefront rocks – standing tall off the edge of the surf. but there were no cairns.

so we built one.

a pilgrimage point. a token reminder – we are here. we have found our way.

we are home. and we will find our way through the rest. together.

****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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in like a lion. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

it was a stunner of a day. brilliant sun, azure blue sky, wisps of clouds, hardly anyone else on the trail. we were in heaven. we needed to be outside, to go move, to see the beautiful river trail coming to life. they were easy miles to hike – we had to stop ourselves and turn around or we would have gone way too far.

the wind just arrived. just now. like a switch, it went from stillness outside to the swirling of wind, the noise of wind, the worry of wind. writing this ahead, it is saturday and extreme weather has and is taking its toll on the country. we have had a wind advisory and wind warnings now for days. we have been alerted.

i laid awake last night for hours. the rain and wind woke me up, but the state of things kept me up. the trees falling are only one of many things on the current angst-list.

i know that it is important to keep things in somewhat of a balance – to shimmy over to the side of seeing beauty, feeling peace, being present, particularly during these obscenely chaotic times here. but the things that are happening to this country are real – they are actually happening, and, as a citizen of this country, i wonder where it is that there may be an outer limit. my fear – one of the nightmonsters – is that there is no outer limit. cruelty knows no bounds and as noam chomsky is quoted, “…evil doesn’t even begin to approach it.”

if it gets too windy as we write we will move into another room, for right behind our pillows is a very tall pine and my imagination is working overtime. i can feel the vibration in my chest vibrating, so i know that i am on alert. this is an all-too-familiar feeling these days. we are all often in fight or flight mode now, it seems. acute stress.

the day after this day of brilliantness we had another hike, though shorter. we sat on the deck and soaked up the warmth, sipped wine, talked about inane topics that kept us strayed away from current events. we had a couple other days of early spring weather before the in-like-a-lion kicked in. i’ve always been heartened by the out-like-a-lamb and, each year, pretty much depend on it…full-fledged counting on this idiom.

i wish the same were true for the state of our nation. that even though march – less than two months into this corruption – came in like a lion – it would go out like a lamb.

but you can’t count on folklore for the weather or politics. both are chaotic and neither is haphazard. one is natural, and is a result of the interactions of scientific systems; the other is deliberately machinated, a result of amoral strategy and self-serving intention.

one has the potential to be a lamb. the other is just aggressive, with high kill rates.

in researching it is curious to me to read – now that we are talking about aggressive creatures – that the deadliest creature on earth is the mosquito. i’m guessing that many people are not aware of this and, to them, sans any research or factoids, the mosquito is merely a noisy nuisance. in reality, the mosquito – as a creature – poses the most mortal threat to humans.

sounds like this new administration. and i’d venture the same guess – that many people – particularly those who – with fox-jacked-up anger – threw their votes onto the dysfunctional red bandwagon – sans any research or factoids – are not aware and, to them, the noise is just that – noise.

the wind is picking up outside.

soon now, i will move into the next room.

because a real threat is a real threat.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo