“we are also naturally-occurring, with no artificial preservatives, no added nitrates or nitrites,” one of the paragraphs of our cover letter read.

“we wanna be hotdoggers” we wrote in the subject line to the oscar mayer folks, who were looking for the 2021 wienermobile navigators. we fit the bill – creative, outgoing, friendly, enthusiastic, exuberant college graduates with an appetite for adventure, willing to see the country through the windshield of the oscar mayer wienermobile.

with new products aimed at —clearly, us— the corporate giant had reintroduced bacon back into our lives. a new bacon – with no added nitrates or nitrites. a bacon that is healthy. a bacon you can eat any old time. a bacon you don’t have to sacrifice from your diet. because…i LOVE bacon. really. love it. but. sigh.

they have other products along these lines as well…think: HOT DOGS…products that conjure up images of big family gatherings and parks and barbecues and wiffleball games and apple pie. a multi-generational rejuvenation unifying the country. we were up for it.

but we were not 22.

nope. we are a tad bit older. and so, we conceived a whole premise for them, a marketing strategy, a grand idea, partnering opportunities, designs and events. and we applied…because why not?

“SENIOR WIENERS” we proposed to their “HOTDOGGER” call. what’s not to love about SENIOR WIENERS for a company that wants to embrace change, a parent company (kraft heinz) that “hires and grows from diverse backgrounds and perspectives”?!

welp, we’ll never know.

though we couldabeen hotdoggin’ around the country for them, they never even called us. not even for a bit part.

they don’t know what they’re missing.

read DAVID’S thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

SMACK-DAB. ©️ 2022 kerrianddavid.com

(and really…the whole concept of SENIOR WIENERS too)