reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


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the tutti of life. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

somewhere around 3:30 this morning i really wanted to flip on the cuisinart. i was pining for a good strong cup of coffee. i was awake and i was suddenly hungry and most-definitely coffee-deficient. i laid awake for a few hours, thinking, thinking, thinking, as is not uncommon these days.

and then i got a text. my dear friend was up in the night holding her brand-new one-day-old beautiful baby granddaughter and wrote to me about the joy of the moment. i could feel her amazement. a new little person in the world and it was happening at that moment that jen was gently holding her, swaddled and warm.

i thought about my own children, picturing the last time i saw each of them, hoping they are both sleeping, hoping they know – in a tiny corner of their minds – they are still gently held.

earlier – somewhere around 2:30 or so – i had pestered d and we watched a trail or two. there was some new footage of everest and, though a little rough on the video front, we tuned in. it occurred to me that somewhere out there – high in the cold himalayas – roughly twelve hours ahead – at that moment – there were perhaps porters in the khumbu valley moving supplies into their towns or to market with yaks and – incredibly – on their backs.

and maybe some scientist was out studying volcanoes in indonesia or glacial movement in the arctic.

and there were people in the sierra nevadas dealing with blizzard conditions and avalanches and exorbitant wind and others in texas dealing with unchecked wildfires.

there are people in mexico city, worried that fresh water will run out.

and somewhere there was someone holding tightly onto the last moments of life, maybe memorizing the last details or reaching and touching a loved one.

somewhere – in too many lands under siege to count – people were wondering if their home, their town, their region would survive the next day.

and somewhere – someone was sitting, meditating, peace in their soul.

everything going on…all at once. the tutti of life everywhere – the whole orchestra.

and now – in the morning – birds outside our window and sun streaming in – dogga at our feet – i sip hot coffee out of the hydroflask our daughter gave us a few years back – and think about the concurrence of it all.

and i realize – once again – there is no one person who is “all-that”.

*****

tutti (music): all together. (italian)

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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round and round. [two artists tuesday]

and the seasons they go round and round
and the painted ponies go up and down
we’re captive on the carousel of time
we can’t return we can only look
behind from where we came
and go round and round and round
in the circle game
” (joni mitchell)

from the edge of the trail it seemed we stood in three seasons. with warm sun on our faces and verdant grasses poking through the golds of autumn aspen leaves, the snow sought refuge in the shade. three seasons. concurrent.

as we stood there, in the middle of the mountain trail, it all swirled together – then, now, next. a kaleidoscope of color, of emotions, of moments. the tiniest of tiny in a vast universe, all else suddenly became distant.

we lingered in the whirl of shifting seasons, viscerally aware of our breathing and the gravity that was holding us still. it was an eddy of every-thing: old wrinkled leaves of regret, fading transient dreams, life-giving air carrying us into the next minute, a metamorphosis of time. the ponies on the carousel kept moving round and round and we paused, our feet in the dirt, sensing the circle encapsulating us, giving us pause.

we stayed there a long time, the scent of decaying leaves in the woods, the sound of a rushing mountain stream, the breeze rustling past us, our faces warmed. for these moments, in the middle of the middle, all the worries, all the fears, all the unease, dropped off from our shoulders. the concurrence whispered to us, “and the seasons they go round and round.”

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY