reverse threading

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Tag Archives: help others


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don’t be a dreamdasher. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

a few yesterdays ago we were at the apple store, asking questions, learning, dreaming, stoking up on what new technology is “out there”, what we might eventually need to replace my no-longer-with-us hand-me-down 2008 crashed computer, this 2014 mini ipad, etc etc etc.

in a remarkable three hours or so – that we stood and talked to mike and then nate – we jogged our braincells into grokking new information, new terms, new device potentials and we entertained dancing with visions of artistic sugarplums. it was a joyous time, filled with others teaching us, punctuated by laughter.

toward the end of our visit at the store, a couple – a bit older than us – walked in. both were dressed to the nines (in direct comparison to our ripped jeans, flannel shirts and hiking sandals).

the woman walked over to the table with ipads and pointed to one as an-even-older-than-them-and-us saleswoman looked on. she asked what it was. the evenolder saleswoman – let’s just call her “dreamdasher” – immediately said this while body-guiding her away from the very tablet that was inviting in the customer: “ohhh. that’s verrrrrry expensive. it’s fancy. it’s an ipad proooo. it’s for proFESSionals.”

i was taken aback and stared at them. since we were just across the table from this debacle – about three feet away – i said aloud, “did you just hear that? what on earth was THAT??” our nate – who we have now adopted because he was young, bright, informative, told great stories, was pretty adorable with great hair and tolerated our three hours worth of information-gathering – said, “everyone has their own approach, i guess.”

i continued to rant – about assumptions, about dashing someone’s dreams, about ageism (which was funny because the salesperson was perhaps older than the customer!), about did-i-mention assumptions. who was to say that the customer wasn’t a professional? who was to say that the customer didn’t have goals to be a professional? who was to say that the customer wasn’t buying for someone else? i was flabbergasted that a woman (dreamdasher) would be so rude to a woman (dreamingperson). it is truly amazing that i did not walk over to dreamdasher and quietly ask her where her generosity went, how she could just dis-count dreamingperson’s curiosity and possible purchase, how she could – in the instants since that couple had walked in – put them in the tire-kicker category and body-guide them down the row of ipads to a lower level of tablet.

i went on and on in big red for a while too. it did not sit well with me.

because we were there to dream, to imagine. we did not look the part of people who could slap down some cash and purchase the row freaking row of tablets. we were clearly behind the eight ball on device capability and terminology. and yet nate – and mike – were generous and careful teachers, on point with what we described as possibilities, lifting us – and our visions – up, not trouncing on them.

wow.

still a little miffed, as you can see.

as human beings – particularly in a time when our very country seems to want to drown every floating dream – isn’t it our obligation to lift others up, to not make unfounded and discriminatory assumptions, to be kind? isn’t it our responsibility to feed others’ creativity, to encourage and bolster their life goals as much as we can, to hope for the best for each other? is it not in our nature to wish to elevate other humans, to boost them up, to animate their dreams, to delight in ambitions and initiatives of goodness? to make a difference in the lives of others – no matter their fortune? to say “i believe in you”? to be light in the dark?

dreamdashers be damned.

grateful to the dreamlifters around us.

*****

YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE © 2003 kerri sherwood

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read DAVID’s thoughts this K.S. FRIDAY

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PS. if you are a “romper room” fan, please sing to the tune of the do-bee song:

“…don’t be a dreamdasher, don’t be a dreamdasher/do be a dreamlifter, do be a dreamlifter…..”


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in an emergency. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

i would not think twice about using this emergency life ring were someone to be thrashing about in the cold water of the harbor below the dock. i’d quickly read the instructions and throw out the rope to anyone – ANY one – who might be drowning or even flailing, trying to survive. i have no doubt that most of the people i know would do the same; they would not ignore the seriousness of a person in extreme need of help.

which is why i absolutely cannot understand why this country is ignoring the imminent crises imperiling millions of people. when i read historian heather cox richardson’s words “what are we doing here?” i couldn’t agree more. truly…what are we doing here?

between the withholding of snap benefits, the gross reduction of medicaid, the exponentially escalating cost of impossible healthcare policies, the grabbing of people off the street, out of businesses, cars, daycares, this country – as you know – is placing its people at great risk.

so what are we doing here?

it would seem that normal human beings – those with a conscience, with compassion and with integrity – would never hesitate to help others in an emergency or in dire straits.

the words on the emergency life ring stanchion read “TO SAVE A LIFE”.

how is it that we – every single one of us – is not concerned with just that?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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urgent needs. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

the grocery store receipt reads $157. there is no meat on this bill. there is not much on this bill. we made a menu, made a list from the menu and shopped to the list. there may have been an exception or two: a 99 cent box of tissues and a loaf of bread that somehow didn’t make it onto the list. $157.

we are frugal. and we know that – when the ridiculous tariffs take effect – this $157 will be lots more.

on the way home we talked about how families are doing it. sans high wages and benefits covering health insurance, it seems like it would be impossible to exist. it is a world – this country – that is leaving the middle class behind, burying us all in costs, living expenses, debt. all imposed with a side of apathy and cruelty. my heart hurt for the man standing on the other side of the road with a sign asking for help.

it takes an instant to go from feeling shaky to feeling fortunate.

and being washed in gratitude is empowering.

we can make more with less, we agree. we can make meals that extend leftovers for days. we can ignore the frivolous and buy only the practical. and we can help.

the local food pantry/shelter has an easy-to-access list of needs on their website. it is clear. i called to make sure that something that was labeled as “urgent” was still considered urgent; we wanted to address that need the best we could.

driving away from the center after dropping multiples of their “urgent need” was a gift. it was a reminder of all the times someone has sensed an “urgent need” in us.

and sometimes, in those moments, somehow the white light of the universe enveloped us and someone stepped up to help.

we are all capable of being that white light. and – in these times of need, these times of people’s lives being beaten down and minimalized, these times dismissive of compassion and care – it would seem urgent – and incumbent upon us – to gather that light and pass it on.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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the small ways. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

“positive cultural change today (as it has always been) is about leveraging your life where you are: by doing small, possible, measurable daily acts of decency, of protest, of advocacy, of collaboration.” (john pavlovitz)

the bumper sticker read: “kindness is an act of defiance.“

in a country with an administration that is leading the way on trying to make people believe that kindness is weakness and wokeness and various other nouns, being kind seems an infinitely easy way to push back.

i have been astounded to see people i know and love spew words of hatred aligning with this administration’s mounting display of cruelty. it would seem that they have plucked kindness and decency out of their hearts. it is my hope that this plucking is not permanent. it is my hope that a vigor – to help people, to collaborate with people, to share rights and freedoms with all, to advocate for those who are in need – will return at some point. but cold hearts become rigid quickly and their version of defiance seems to be complicity with the authoritarian vision.

and so we sit on the deck with dogga and talk about it all. we talk about our own plans. we ponder how we might make a difference, besides writing and writing and writing. we copy lists of things that are needed by local non-profits and organizations aiding people. we sort needs and wants and prioritize as responsibly as we can.

and we wander around the backyard, looking at the phenomenal growth of our herbs, the tropical-like burst from the flowers and the grasses and the sweet potato plants. we are grateful for this tiny place of earth that is ours. even in our own lack and thriftiness, we are grateful for our own abundance. in our own tiny yard, we snip basil for homemade pizza, cilantro for chili, parsley for red pesto, tiny cherry tomatoes and jalapeño peppers.

we cook, we clean out, we give away. we hike, we photograph, we write. we pay attention to little details. we try to find the small, possible, measurable ways to create culture change.

to be where we are and be defiant.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

“HELPING HANDS” 53.5″ x 15.25″

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly support an artist whose work directly impacts you.