there is really nothing unhappy about polka dots. it is rare that polka dots are scorned, even more rare that polka dots are looked upon as harbingers of negativity. polka dots get a bye in the fashion world, seemingly always advancing to the next round.
yesterday we spent about five hours on the phone with spectrum trying to fix our internet. we unplugged our two-in-one modem-router combo, drove to the store, exchanged our equipment and tried to self-install (underscored in its excitement rating) and then spent another hour on the phone. it was never fixed and we are hopeful for today, as a tech person will come and “evaluate the problem”. we were ridiculously weary with internet-failure by the end of the day and solaced ourselves with a favorite holiday dvd movie snuggled around the laptop under the covers before sleep.
our dear friends texted us a youtube of a spectrum skit on SNL that we could watch on our phone. it was hilariously accurate and made us laugh. we had literally spoken to an insane number of reps during this tech-debacle. chris was one of them.
i liked him immediately. he promised me a ferrari and a pizza as well as finding us a “package” to fix our internet grief. i told him to keep the pizza and he thanked me profusely because, on a diet sans pizza, he has been craving it and did not want to think of me, his newest friend, eating pizza. i told him to maybe have a piece of pizza, that life is too short. it’s not good to crave things and deny yourself everything. anyway, after our philosophical discussion, he again said that he would find a plan and he would fix our internet once and for all. he was basing our success on “my demeanor and clothing choices”. my ripped jeans and moccasin boots railed in protest but recognized we weren’t on a video call, after all, and gave up the fight. it sounded like clothing really mattered to him and so i’m imagining that he had a dark blue gingham-checked shirt and jeans with a solid dark-blue skinny-but-not-too-skinny-to-be-out-of-sync-with-his-body tie and very cool rich medium brown tie shoes, since brown shoes seem to be really vogue with blue these days. though chris was delightful to deal with – since it could have been different and dry and kind of like having a tooth filled at the dentist so I was relieved to be laughing and joking – chris did not fix our internet. neither did any of the other reps, all nice and scripty polka-dot-ish, but unable to address the problem.
so, no ferrari, no pizza AND no internet.
we are determined, after last night’s movie made us predictably mushy, that today will be a polka-dot kind of day.
we mantra: the tech will come – dressed in spectrum attire – and voila! fix the internet. we will suddenly go from 30mbps (an old time warner cable plan no one told us to upgrade) to ultra wifi 400mbps (I will believe this when I see it). we will have no issues with brand new equipment we just brought home. we will easily engage wifi on all our devices. we will carry on, having woefully lost a whole day in spectrumland, but rapidly recuperating back into reality.
we will be in polka-dot happiness with real polka-dots.