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Category Archives: not-so-flawed wednesday


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in the meanwhile. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

“on the day when the weight deadens on your shoulders and you stumble, may the clay dance to balance you.” (bennacht – john o’donohue)

in the meanwhile we keep hiking the trails nearby…the bike trail, state forests, nature preserves, state parks,, county parks. there are times (though never enough) we are in colorado or utah or north carolina and there are mountains or red rock to hike, deserts and canyons to explore, waterfalls to discover. but most of the time we are here. and here is where we hike. nevertheless, we keep it fresh, each time.

we’ll continue to sort life on these trails. with everything that has taken place in these last years – and, devastatingly, this week – there is plenty to sort, lots to process. these trails help us stay present – not get lost in the chaos of tangled underbrush, not get too waylaid by the terrifying what-could-happens. one step at a time, one foot in front of another.

i’m writing this at sixteen minutes after noon eastern time on monday. i have a pounding headache right now and my breathing is shallow. even without watching we can feel it in the air. the changeover. the democracy axis tipping to the oligarchs on the dais. there is a wafting scent of narcissism and revenge and you can feel the gloat descending like storm clouds. presence is damn necessary now.

“…a lot of evil happens because of ignorance and of numbness…” (john o’donohue)

so in the meanwhile – the time between this new now and whenever evil releases its cruel grip – we’ll seek the spaces that keep us in beauty. we’ll find others as they, too, look for the beautiful, the simple. and we’ll hold fast to the clay under our feet.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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any feather in silhouette. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

in silhouette – in the trees against the sky – it was difficult to tell if they were starlings or grackles. the identifying characteristics like feather, head, leg or beak color fly in the face of the silhouette. tail length and body shape can be discerning factors as well as their bird calls or the raucous sound that they make while hanging out in trees together. but – at these moments that we were photographing them – they were quiet and, though i might lean toward starling – because of their general body shape and tail – i’m really not sure. plus, starlings and grackles and blackbirds all often mingle together, so it can be hard to distinguish one from the other.

what i do know is that it doesn’t matter. they were beautiful all perched in the trees and it’s a marvel to look up and see sooo many birds, resting and waiting before they move on.

we are coming ever closer to the changeover in the administration of our government. it feels like we are getting a little bit quiet in waiting. there is so much chaos that can happen quickly and this morning we talked about who will stand in integrity to push back against it all, who will be decent, who will abide by the laws of the land, who will be responsible advocates for humanity – the absence of which will perpetuate a chaos of insane proportion.

were we all to be seen in silhouette perhaps there would be more likelihood that we might all be treated equally, that people would not be disenfranchised or marginalized because of pigmentation or gender or ethnicity or sexual orientation or socioeconomic status or any other differentiating thing.

if we had to squint to try and make out the details of each other and – still then – think that we are all basically the same – for silhouettes – and yes, people – are like that – maybe this country could be a better place.

i shudder thinking about what’s coming. it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

i wonder when wisdom might return. the meanwhile is going to be a shameful place.

if you’re looking for me, i’ll be in the tree communing with the birds. you’re certainly welcome to hang out. they say birds of a feather flock together. any feather.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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intermingled. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

when he came over for dinner a few days ago he asked when we were going to take down the holiday decorations. “sheesh!” i said. “it’s barely over!”

truth of the matter is that i love the light and spirit of the holiday decorations. the intermingling of the everyday with the celebration of divine. even so, we will – soon – take down the Christmas tree, all the little trees, the ornaments. we may leave a few crystals up for a while. and, definitely, the happy lights stay. there is nothing wrong with keeping light and real-life intermingled.

pine branches on the trail always get my attention. there are sections of our trail that just have a glorious scent. those spots instantly take me back to a favorite hike in the colorado mountains – where we hike through a pine forest alongside a brook that meanders down the mountain. funny how scents do that.

it’s like any time there is the slightest bit of salt in the air i am back at the beach where i processed most of my teenage years, back in the sand where i walked winter, spring, summer, fall.

the rolling-around of the new year prompts much memory-exploring. i can’t help but think of holidays past, of decades of new years turning, of resolutions and wishes, of sadnesses and hopes for new, times of tucking away the holiday and times of leaving it all up longer than ever.

for right now, the snowy pine needles nudged me to keep it all up. for a few more days. intermingled. to stretch the magic it creates a little bit longer.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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the extra mile. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

when i looked up the term “go the extra mile” one of the definitions was from http://www.collinsdictionary.com. it listed the definition as “willing to make a special effort to do or achieve something.” then it gave an example, which was this: “the president is determined ‘to go the extra mile for peace.'” ahh. good example. uh-huh. let’s hope so.

as humans, particularly in this particular new year steeped with particularly hard particular challenges, it would seem we should be compelled to go the extra mile. with resolve. it’s the hollies’ “he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother” route, the “love is the answer” england dan and john ford coley route, the john lennon “imagine” route, the “lean on me” bill withers route, the “what a wonderful world” louis armstrong route, the carole king “you’ve got a friend” route.

sometimes the extra mile is only a candle in a bag.

the luminaria lit the night, cutting through darkness and cold. it conjured up my sweet momma and poppo, inviting them from behind the curtain of the other dimension. it was beautiful and hopeful; a tiny gesture. on a night filled with other things, the extra mile. simple and profound.

it will be rare in life to know the result of something we do. the extra mile may never reveal its impact. the concentric circles may never ripple the water in ways we can see. but no river stands absolutely still. and, in between the right now and next, the current is pulling us past every single opportunity for the extra mile.

in this new year, we hope to grab onto the opportunities – like life preservers – and choose to go those extra miles. big or small. passionately.

get your tealight and paper bag ready.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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on this christmas day. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

it was the title that touched me: “staggering generosity”.

i opened the email a few days ago, a newsletter i hadn’t opened in quite some time. these words have been with me ever since: “don’t just love. astonish people with your love. don’t just dabble in generosity. live a life of staggering generosity.” (paul wesselmann – ripples)

in cleaning my studio this week i found a pocket-sized calendar my sweet momma sent me in 2007. there was a quote on the first page: “may you live all the days of your life.” (jonathan swift)

this day – each day – all the days.

tonight when the house was quiet again, we sat in the living room with the lights off. e.e. (our christmas tree) and our big branches were the only things illuminating the room. sitting in the glow, we were both lost in thought – steeped in gratitude – about this holiday, about this time, about these days.

i could feel the glimmer in the room. a vibration. palpable. like the fingertips of the universe brushing my skin. astonishing. and staggering. what better day than today?

and then we unplugged all the happy lights – ready to sleep on this christmas day.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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even if, enough. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

it snowed last night. there is a dusting on the deck and on the roofline that i can see out the window right now. even a dusting is magical. even a dusting is snow. even, if it were only a dusting, only this, it would be enough.

the snow earlier – in november – didn’t last long but – while it clung to the adirondack chairs – i went out, crunching through it, to take a photograph, to remember it. it was the kind that snowmen are made of. and, even if that were the only snow, only that, it would have been enough.

i am trying to learn the art of even if, enough. for right now. for this moment. for standing in this space, spinning on this earth in this solar system in this galaxy. the next moment is a mystery – on repeat – a measure of blank space, again and again.

you don’t just arrive there, we are not simply maestros of this art. it is – what i am seeing – a process like the tides. a little wave in, a little wave out. a grain of sand in, a grain of sand out. it is not simple but it is…actually.

it is the recognition – when you are feeling in right mind, when you are feeling more balanced, when you are not hijacked by outside influences – of the right now and a nod that even if….it is enough.

in this time, these times, our yearnings are real. and – as our world turns and we approach a time of far greater chaos than we have likely ever known in most of our lives – we can see that the even if, enoughs are going to play a big role in staying grounded.

it is a work in progress, i suppose, for each of us. we – mostly – live in societies where more is more and less is, most definitely, less. we are not typically validated in our less. we are not typically commended for finding value in less.

but it is the gift of the tide and time. you begin to realize that the tiniest pebbles that drop in on our personal shoreline are often the mica of life. you begin to realize that they balance out the grains of sand that are pulled out each time and tide.

and so i, maybe like you – am trying to be satisfied with – at peace with – the even if, enoughs.

even if we don’t have enough time with someone – but we have a tiny bit – it is enough. even if we don’t have enough stuff, newest stuff, trendy stuff – but we have a tiny bit – it is enough. even if we don’t have enough time – but we have a tiny bit – it is enough. even if we don’t have enough snow – but we have a tiny bit – it is enough.

though the even ifs make us – make it all – feel somewhat fragile, the enoughs are a good place to seek, a good place to live.

this dusting. wondrous.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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dried flowers. [kerri‘s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

“may this house shelter your life. when you come in home here, may all the weight of the world fall from your shoulders. may your heart be tranquil here, blessed by peace the world cannot give.” (john o’donohue – for a new home – benedictus, a book of blessings)

back in the day – referencing the 80s and 90s or so – i used to have lots of dried flowers – everywhere. dried flowers and herbs and red peppers were definitely a thing then, part of the homey, country look – hung on any hook, any trellis, any door jamb you could access. it all felt comforting, smidges of beautiful, tiny respites from busy-ness.

there’s a moment in the movie my big fat greek wedding when ian miller tells toula portokalos that he remembers seeing her a previous time. she, who has had a bit of a self-makeover, says, i was going through a phase then. i was frump girl. in one of the best he’s-a-sweet-guy moments, ian responds kindly, i don’t remember frump girl, but i remember you. and you cannot help your heart from going pitter-patter and you just know what might happen….

well, i have gotten over the dried-flower-phase. though i loved it then – and completely embraced it – there are no dried flowers hanging around now. though, truth be told, i do have a few dried daisies from our wedding tied with jute and a little garden lavender posey gathered with string. oh…and the first rose d gave me. and i think there is some hydrangea drying (long-term) in the basement and maybe a few wildfield thistles in the sitting room sharing a vessel with a bit of pussywillow. oopsies. i might have been a bit off on the word “no” in “no dried flowers“…

perhaps I should yield on using absolutes.

moving on.

i am most definitely a fierce appreciator of dried flowers and wild weeds in the fields and meadows of our hikes and adore the textures and morphing shapes of them through the seasons. it is likely that we have already shared a thistle or two as our blog images, but – – – this one, this one counts too, i argue for its inclusion.

because of my propensity for hangingontothings – emotionally and in real life – it is quite amazing that all those -older- dried flowers made their way out of the house from the latest 80s and through the 90s. when you have lived in a house this long – 35 years – you know it will iterate through time. and you cannot hang on to all the vestiges of the last phase, no matter how splendid they are.

so now, here i am, not even sure what this post is about. this stunning in-fallow-stoking-up-energy thistle made me think of the dried-flower-phase, of things that – at some given time – made our home feel like our sanctuary. i suppose i might let you just try to connect the dots.

or you can just nod your head, roll your eyes and quietly support my stream of consciousness today.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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power on. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

oh, tiny one. this little morsel of a being – a fuzzy caterpillar – at the bitter cold end of november. we watched to make sure it made its way – the rest of the way – across the trail and into the tousle of leaves on the side.

surely it was brave, this tiny one. surely, resourceful, for green leaves are no longer plentiful. surely, stalwart. surely, not here in the outer world much longer, as it will winter under decaying wood, this woolybear. a time in diapause.

but it didn’t seem concerned about all this. it just moseyed on, across the trail, unaware of our study of it, unaware of the photo shoot, unaware of the challenges that might befall it. it just powered on.

maybe that is the thing we now need to do – power on.

in whatever way it is we choose, on whatever path we take, just keep on keeping on – despite fear, despite the odds, hoping that our fuzziness will protect us from the predators.

and when the world we are in becomes harsh, we might just slip into a diapause of our own, seeking places of peace – to survive.

oh, tiny one of wisdom.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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the trees. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

we know these trees. we have walked this trail amid these trees for years now, processing life as we go. they are familiar to us; they feel like chosen family – waiting for us, to hear our voices, our laughter, the crunch of our boots on dirt, pebbles, leaves. they are curious – to hear snippets of challenges, of joys, of sorting – bits and snatches of our conversation as we hike.

these trees – all of them – the sculptural, the leafless, the verdant, the not-yet-shed-their-leaves, the evergreen – hold us, help us feel secure in this place, in this world. the curve of the trail – how we know it well – gives us pause in worry, recognizing the reassurance of the known.

there are three or four trails like that here. memorized, well-loved, never surprising and always full of stunning surprises. there is a specific trail – through stands of aspen trees – on a ridge in aspen. there is a specific trail – with the pungent scent of pine trees – along a mountain stream in breck. if we could teleport there – to either of those trails – we would. for they both speak to our very souls.

“and into the forest i go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” (john muir)

we return home – to this place on earth that can both travel with us and be acutely found in our cozy old house – with less-burdened hearts. though sometimes momentary – in a world leaning into insanity – the trail tucks wisdom-bits into us and we bring home space that reminds us to breathe in the very minute we are in, grounding us.

and so, we try to go here – to the close-by – often. especially now.

we are aware of beauty. we both notice it and look for it.

we walk and talk. we walk in silence.

and the trees tap us on the shoulder as we pass and whisper sweet nothings to us.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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the point in the road. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

it was a way cool moment of playing tourist.

here we are – in monument valley – at forrest gump point – the place where the infamous character forrest gump (from the movie of the same name) stops running, running, running.

we counted down the miles to forrest gump point – watching the gigantic rock formations – so recognizable from the movie – get closer and closer.

you could definitely tell where the spot was. there were cars pulled over and people standing in the middle of the two-lane highway. everyone was taking pictures and i overheard someone say, “i love being a tourist!”

i would echo that. it was an extraordinary point in the road.

reenacting even a moment from this impactful movie – full of lessons and positivity – could not be better timed. it was clear – out there in the middle of the desert – surrounded by carloads of strangers, laughter, people exchanging phones to photograph each other whether they were acquainted or not – that with inspiring, thoughtful, decent leadership, we – here in these united states – might all stand a chance to live together with common purpose, getting along.

but it was momentary – because that future must be with leadership based on decency, fairness, equality, love. it must be with leadership that values resilience, optimism, honesty. it must be with leadership that is absolutely based on and furthering the tenets of democracy.

and the truth of the matter is that we are standing at a place – a point in the road – where running – toward the future – toward goodness – upholding the rights of every american – aligned with morality and justice – could stop. read maga’s project 2025 or any snippet thereof.

what would that point be called?

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

like. subscribe. share. support. comment. – thank you. xoxo

buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo