reverse threading

the path back is the path forward

Tag Archives: sunflower


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the glow. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

it began ever-so-slowly. but on a day we needed a glow, the glow showed up.

all of a sudden – from our adirondack chairs on the patio – we could see a glow peeking out, growing behind the metal sunflower over in the fern garden in the back corner of our yard.

we are sunseekers – but not in a tanning sort of way. on this day, after many days of humid and overcast, humid and hot, humid and ridiculously hot, here was a day that was significantly less humid. the early evening was starting and we were not sweltering. instead, we were tiki-torch-sitting in the backyard, watching the world turn.

i aimed the camera around the yard – to capture that time – barney and our daylilies, the taller switchgrasses, the birdbath, the pond, the ferns and breck, dogga laying on the deck. a half hour later is when the sun started to sneak between the back of the garage and the fence – the amber of my favorite spotlight fresnel gel – this time backlighting the metal sunflower we brought home from dogga’s birthtown across the state.

the sun is streaming across the quilt right now. it is a glorious early morning and our windows are open. the streaming sun assuages worries we carried into the dawn.

i think about all the times i have spent deliberately watching the sun rise. the fence-climbing into crab meadow beach, the eastern sky over the ocean, the sky over lake michigan, over the mountains, in the utah desert, climbing over redrock. i think about all the times i have spent deliberately watching the sun set. northport harbor, the gulf beaches, over summit county mountain peaks, over the grandest of canyons and the quietest of canyonlands, the answer to the sunset of the eastern sky over the lake, off the dock up-north, looking west from our southport beachhouse, in endless farmlands, on favorite hiking trails, off the coast on-island.

to deliberately watch the sun is to see in-real-life the parameters of a day. to know that – in what feels like an instant – another day will start, another day will end. and on and on it goes.

we recently heard news of the death of someone we knew. it took us both by surprise and saddened us. and it made me fall back into that weird space i always feel when learning someone has died – the wondering space – where i wonder how it is that the world can go on if this person cannot feel it.

i know it does – go on.

and i’ve never really answered the question. it just feels too big – too humbling, too consuming, too heavy, too existential – for me to truly wrap my head around it.

i don’t know…

maybe that’s why i watch the sun rise and the sun set.

maybe the glow knows.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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we rise up. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

as sunflowers age, their woody stems lose the ability to turn back and forth – east and west – in their track of the sun. instead, their older, more mature stalks keep them more planted, most often facing east – to capture the rising sun and warmth from early morning’s rays, to stoke up.

now, i’m guessing that it would be easier for the sunflower if it were able to continually use their magical heliotropism superpower their whole life, but – much like humans – some of their flexibility fades as they get older and they deal with life differently as an aged sunflower.

in the storylines of our own lives, it would be much easier if we were able to constantly pivot to goodness – the sun, easy answers, fixes, healing solutions, the fair solving of problems, any evil affecting us succumbing to accountability.

to think that all might go our way – the first time – or, heck, any time at all – sounds mighty fine.

but life as a sunflower isn’t like that. and neither is life as a human.

instead, lots of times we must set down our expectations and take a breath. a deep breath.

we allow a bit of time to readjust: to maybe grieve, to pine for a different result, to rail over outcomes dashed.

we reassess. we sort. we brainstorm.

we strategize. we plan.

we gear up.

and then – we rise up – with strong and straight spine – and face the next day, ready for what comes next. whatever it is.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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keeping on. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

spent. the at-least-ten-foot-tall sunflower by the library looks spent. but oh, no, it is not spent. the transience of its time – of time itself – is just the beginning of a new phase, a new purpose, a new cycle. its seeds perpetuate its enduring soul. it keeps on.

“i’ve spent the past fifteen hundred days working tirelessly toward a single goal – survival. and now that i’ve survived, i’m realizing i don’t know how to live.” (suleika jaouad)

and so, here in the little garden just outside our favored library in town, this sunflower is still in its glory. tall, stately, i still catch my breath to see it. alone, it towers above all else there.

today we will have irish stew and mashed potatoes for dinner. it is not a traditional big turkey extravaganza nor is it a gathering of many at our table on this day. but we two will sit – with candles and cloth napkins and steaming bowls and bread – and we will give thanks for each person in each of our phases who have helped us work toward survival, helped us with endurance, with purpose.

we will be grateful for the full table in our dining room just two weeks ago, our beloved children, with us. we will offer up thanks for the food we will eat, for each other, for cherished ones, for being together. we’ll likely chat about thanksgivings of our growing-up, tales of earlier grown-up thanksgivings, thanksgivings when – to their delight – our childrens’ dad did an early-morning turkey-dance with the turkey, thanksgivings when our parents did the traditional end-of-the-table carving.

and we’ll dream about thanksgivings to come when – hopefully – this nation will have come back to its senses, when it will lead with gratitude and appreciation for all its people and its wildly fantastic diversity. we’ll ponder when extended families might return to the holiday table together, in love and generosity, with compassion for each other and all the others, all schisms laid out forever to rest. we’ll wonder about the seeds of the soul of this day – thanksgiving – and the true honesty and heart behind the honest and heartfelt wish – “happy thanksgiving” – we’ve heard so many times this week before today.

we are reminded every day – by something or other – that we all don’t really know how to live. it goes beyond survival, beyond the giant yellow bloom on the ten foot tall stalk. it stands the transience of time and its soul of goodness endures, cycle after cycle.

it is not spent.

and we are grateful for another chance to keep on.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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sunflowers and chamomile. [flawed wednesday]

though it does not follow the sun across the sky, this sunflower graces our yard and reminds us of constancy.

in ukraine the sunflower is a symbol of peace, a laying down of nuclear arms in 1996 and a time of restoration. it is rapidly becoming a sign of solidarity, of push-back, of resistance against the invasion by a country intent on the evil destruction of all in its path. i glance out back and offer a prayer to the universe for peace, for the ceasing of this lunacy. i sigh each time.

i have held a special place in my heart for sunflowers. even in rusty metal the sunflower grants warmth and holds vigil, loyal and open-hearted. a stunning blossom, big and loud in kind of a direct you-can’t-miss-it way.

sunflowers are in the same large and diverse flower family as daisies. their little sister, daisies, are our favorites. they walked us down the aisle, they grace our table as we eat. cheerfulness, innocence, joy, purity…flowers of simple form offering hope and new beginnings.

even tinier sisters, chamomile flowers in their beautiful simplicity are said to be purveyors of peace, poise, calmness, humility, rest, renewal. chamomile is described as a flower representing kindness, and, in its victorian era symbolism – energy in adversity.

i find it exponentially ironic that this is the national flower of russia.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY