reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


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the small ways. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

positive cultural change today (as it has always been) is about leveraging your life where you are: by doing small, possible, measurable daily acts of decency, of protest, of advocacy, of collaboration.” (john pavlovitz)

the bumper sticker read: “kindness is an act of defiance.

in a country with an administration that is leading the way on trying to make people believe that kindness is weakness and wokeness and various other nouns, being kind seems an infinitely easy way to push back.

i have been astounded to see people i know and love spew words of hatred aligning with this administration’s mounting display of cruelty. it would seem that they have plucked kindness and decency out of their hearts. it is my hope that this plucking is not permanent. it is my hope that a vigor – to help people, to collaborate with people, to share rights and freedoms with all, to advocate for those who are in need – will return at some point. but cold hearts become rigid quickly and their version of defiance seems to be complicity with the authoritarian vision.

and so we sit on the deck with dogga and talk about it all. we talk about our own plans. we ponder how we might make a difference, besides writing and writing and writing. we copy lists of things that are needed by local non-profits and organizations aiding people. we sort needs and wants and prioritize as responsibly as we can.

and we wander around the backyard, looking at the phenomenal growth of our herbs, the tropical-like burst from the flowers and the grasses and the sweet potato plants. we are grateful for this tiny place of earth that is ours. even in our own lack and thriftiness, we are grateful for our own abundance. in our own tiny yard, we snip basil for homemade pizza, cilantro for chili, parsley for red pesto, tiny cherry tomatoes and jalapeño peppers.

we cook, we clean out, we give away. we hike, we photograph, we write. we pay attention to little details. we try to find the small, possible, measurable ways to create culture change.

to be where we are and be defiant.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

“HELPING HANDS” 53.5″ x 15.25″

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settled. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

a friend of ours wrote, “i feel like i’ve been searching for that place for a long time now.” that place. the place to call home.

i haven’t lived in a neighborhood that has underground wires. on long island, in florida, in new hampshire, on island, here. everywhere i’ve lived has had wires that stretch from telephone poles to places on the house. cables parallel to the road, cables crisscrossing the backyard, cables running down the driveway.

i’m sure that living in a development without wires might look neater, cleaner. certainly there would be no chance of wires downed in ice storms or big up-on-the-pole transformer explosions. 

but wires are what i know. and the squirrels provide an extraordinary amount of entertainment using them as squirrel highways. 

would i rather it wireless? probably. but it’s home – even in that minor imperfection – and i feel settled – most of the time – here. 

i tried to explain it. if i could choose a place where i would want to live – sans thinking about cost and such – i would likely not choose here. other places call me. the mountains, the coast. but this is where i am right now and right now it is where i am. 

i suppose it’s where you place your focus. 

shortly, my brand-spanking-new medicare card will take effect. it’s astounding. conversations among friends are about where to live in this new time of life, paring down, perhaps downsizing, perhaps spending time in the year in a different locale, a different climate. it has us thinking.

we continue to go through our house and donate, give away, sell, throw out things that are tucked into spaces on each level of our home. this project will take a while. there’s a lot of life to sort. and, as we do, we re-imagine the space. downstairs, we say, off to the side of david’s studio, on the street side of the treadmill and the bike, we’ll add some mats. we’ll stretch down there and build our exercise programs. the sitting room has become a cozy reading room and all our cds are now visible on shelves, easy access to playing music we love. eventually, the kitchen will have a little cosmetic work. though we have cooked thousands of meals in it as it is, a little refresh will go a long way. we pine to be out back on our deck and patio, adirondack-chair sitting. we see maybe a few more vegetables in our future. we have some deferred maintenance projects to attend to. 

but we are in a place that makes access to other places easy. we sit between two major cities, a very cool madison a third to our west. we have two major airports nearby, a third down the road a piece. we have trains that will take us to chicago if we don’t want to drive. our city is growing and, though we don’t always agree with everything, it will continue to expand and more will be offered here.

would i choose it if i could choose from anywhere? maybe not. but this is where i am – where we are – and this – for right now – is where we are settled. another day i may answer that differently, more vehemently dedicated to somewhere else. 

in the meanwhile, we’ll make adventures from this place. and we’ll know we can always come home.

every time we pull away for a longer bit, i whisper to our house. i’m guessing every time we pull back into our driveway, wires up above us running the lot line, it whispers back.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

INSTRUMENT OF PEACE mixed media 48″ x 91″

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which way? [two artists tuesday]

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which way product BAR

the moment i saw this trailmarker it made me laugh.  i was feeling exactlyyy this way, so this lightened my mood.  (yes, yes, i understand that the marker made sense, but if you flatten it out (as opposed to three-dimensional) it is admittedly funny and a little confusing.)

middle age (ohmygosh, yes, middle age) seems like a time of arrows every which way.  where we’ve been, where we are, where we are going…these questions are all different now…different from the striding times even a decade ago.  time is starting to mean something else; i recognize the scarcity of time-limitlessness.

i lost one of my very best friends from elementary school, junior high and high school last week.  kenny was brilliant and funny and courageous and a really good person.  together with his twin richard and i, we were often thought of as “triplets” in school, mostly because we were all platinum blond kids growing up.  i haven’t seen kenny for many years.  the last time i can remember was having coffee with him at the atlanta airport; he was an airline captain and based there so we met when i flew through with a tad bit of a layover.  he was thrilled to catch me up about his beautiful wife and son and he joked about how long it took him to find her.  even though i saw him rarely, there was something about knowing he was in the world that was comforting…a piece of my long-ago-past that i could still talk to or text with, maybe see from time to time, who knew me when i was little, when i was a preteen, when i was a teenager, when i loved calculus.  i tried to explain this to d…when certain people who connect me way back to my roots are no longer present on this earth, it is as if i can feel the earth tilt on its axis; it wobbles.  and nothing will ever be the same.  i can’t get to ken’s service, but i hope to carry with me – always – a piece of kenny and our growing-up history.  i hope to honor him somehow.

and the next time i wonder “which way” in angst, i hope to stand still, right where i am.  time is not unlimited.  i don’t want to waste it.

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