reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


1 Comment

beauty and the beast. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

it’s days later and the turkeypoop is frozen to the top of littlebabyscion. it’s negative-something outside, so this is not likely to change soon. turkeypoop is of significant size. we are looking at it as a blessing of some sort.

we have three turkeys wandering the ‘hood these days. forest park neighborhood had carl but now allendale has these three – maybe huey, dewey and louie? 

they are big – really big – turkeys and they draw attention wherever they go. and…they go anywhere they want…

…including on top of littlebabyscion.

our westneighbor texted us, “umm, are you guys having turkey tonight?”. i was perplexed until i saw a photo he sent. two of them, comfortably perched on top of our car, the third turkey in the driveway next to it. what?!! 

we ran to the window in the studio to look out and, sure enough, there they were, up on the roof. once the snow melts, it is likely there will be beak-pecks in the roof as well – they were busy pecking each time i looked out. the turkey in the driveway was literally below the window, looking up as if to ask to be let in – much the same expression dogga gets on his face as he gazes in the back window from the back deck, willing us to let him in please and let him in nowww. 

it was already going to be an odd moment. i was selling an item on marketplace and a perfect stranger was coming to our house to purchase it. now, here we are, three turkeys on the way to the front door. she was arriving any minute. i asked d to go out when she arrived so that he might escort her in since we don’t know what exactly turkeys will do if they feel encroached upon. 

it turns out she was from the forest park neighborhood so she wasn’t alarmed; carl had been a presence there for quite some time. everybody loved him and she did too. our turkeys were still there when she left and they stayed for quite some time. with the negative temperatures, there was a tiny bit of a windblock between our house and our neighbor’s house so maybe they were trying to warm up just a smidge. 

eventually, they apparently flew off littlebabyscion to head down the road. we missed them for the last couple days until yesterday when they were out on our street again. they must be making the rounds, looking for whatever it is turkeys eat. i’m thinking we should put out some sunflower seeds – to help them along. with these negative temps, we are all worried, but i’ve read the thousands of feathers they have will truly keep them warm. 

when our daughter was in the high rockies, she would tell us of stories of bears getting into people’s vehicles. somehow they are able to simply open the door and get in. it’s the getting out that’s the problem – if the door swings shut they are apt to utterly destroy the interior of the vehicle they have chosen. she and i went horsebackriding with a cowboy who’d been in aspen forever and told great stories. in one of his odd jobs, he was a caretaker for a mansion tucked into the mountains there. when the owners were away a bear got inside and foraged in the kitchen cabinets. it then went upstairs and turned on the water faucet in the bathroom. in true naughty bear behavior (who can really blame them – we are taking over all their wild land!), it never turned it off. so, a week later – during a house check – the caretaker discovered water everywhere, on every floor of the house, the depth ever-rising from the basement up. it was a gut-job for sure.

and so, the turkeypoop and turkeypecks on the roof of littlebabyscion don’t seem so bad. if we are going to co-exist with these stunning creatures, then we must allow for all of it. their beauty and their beast.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

like. subscribe. share. support. comment. ~ thank you. xoxo

buymeacoffee is a tip-jar website where you may help support the continuing creating of artists whose work touches you. xoxo


Leave a comment

allendale’s corner store. [not-so-flawed wednesday]

ann’s corner store – forever in my mind fondly known as ‘southport pantry’ – keeps us in ice.

for some reason, and i know it’s a popular problem, our fridge has refused to make more ice. not another cube! not even a shaved kernel. none. it’s not an old fridge – well, it didn’t feel old until a moment ago when i realized i purchased it in 2013 – but, wait…is ten years old for a fridge now? hello? kitchenaid?? anyway, it’s not as old as any of our other appliances, so we sort of expect it to work a tad bit more, say, maybe, completely. it also has this other problem. it’s a bottom drawer freezer and under the drawer a skating rink of ice forms and then, the reason unbeknownst to me since fridge and freezer both imply COLD, it melts tiny puddles onto the floor from time to time. so, from time to time, i defrost this sheet of ice – trying to make the pieces as big as possible – kind of like when you are peeling a (i’m dating myself here) drake’s yodel cake or a sunburn (ewww, you say!). and then, the clock starts all over again.

even now – as i write this ahead of time – muggy humidity is streaming in the open windows raising the “feels like” temperature and lowering my sense of humor. post-menopause is not necessarily synonymous with “loves to be hot”. i am picturing myself high on a mountain or maybe in the northernmost reaches of maine. (and i’m not even in the absolutely brutal southwest or southeast.) what that means is – we need ice.

that brings me to ann’s little store – morelli’s deli. because ice melts – a natural phenomenon – we try to buy it close and race it home. even with a cooler, it has the possibility of turning into one large lumpy lump of ice rather than chunks of broken up ice, so one must be ever-thinking when one purchases ice. so we buy it at ann’s. i’m pretty sure we are not keeping ann’s corner store going with our ice purchases, but if everyone in the ‘hood were to buy something there – often – it would surely help keep this family business going. it was pretty exciting the day we realized she added wine to her wares, stocking many labels, many varietals. it meant we could take a long walk around allendale and the lakefront and stop and purchase a bottle of wine for happy hour – without getting in the car. all the adult beverages at our wedding were provided by ann, so we do have a soft spot for that place.

there are many places in our travels we glance over at a shoppe and wonder aloud how they are able to keep going, to pay the overhead, to make a little money, to stay open. it’s been a crazy time and i suspect that the craziness – financially speaking for middle-class americans – is not ending. soon, student loan payments will be restored and, i suspect, the power companies will raise their rates again in time for winter. the cable/internet/phone company – with whom i have spent several hours of my life in the last week – will perk up its billing with some additional package fees or the unpromoted end of promotional deals and the health insurance EOBs that arrive in people’s homes will surprise households with uncovered expenses.

so, it’s no small wonder that ann and tom – in their zeal to run a family store and keep allendale in italian beef and homemade soups and guac, chips and kringle, coffee and spirits – are succeeding one baby step at a time. their business challenges must be grand, like so many of us who own a business. but their commitment to this community has been and is commendable and heartwarming and we are fiercely dedicated to their success. they know practically everybody. and still remember tiny craig running in with the car change purse to buy donuts.

and so, for however long it is that our freezer just refuses to freeze water into icecubes, we will get our ice from ann’s. and then, if we are lucky enough someday to have an in-fridge icemaker that works, well, we’ll get other stuff there.

because not everyone is lucky enough to have a corner store around the corner and down the block. but we do. and we love going there.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY


1 Comment

dale of allendale. [two artists tuesday]

dale is a pretty good name for a turkey. but then, so is allen. we decided on dale. (even though i am now, post-visit, thinking allen is funnier.) regardless, dale strutted his stuff around our allendale neighborhood for a few days, acting like he belonged here and we were the aliens.

the first afternoon we saw him, we stopped the car and pretty much just stared at him walking down the sidewalk. he gobbled at us watching him and then harumphed into the street to get to the proverbial other side. then, walking around littlebabyscion, he kept heading west. we saw him another time or two wandering about but haven’t seen him now for days. maybe he moved on or maybe he heard about forest park and headed there – a neighborhood west of us that a turkey named carl called home for quite some time.

i suppose it’s easier to change ‘hoods when you’re a turkey. it’s not like you are carrying much baggage with you. unless he had them stuffed under some bushes somewhere, he carried no suitcases, no boxes or plastic bins. he didn’t have his offspring’s elementary artwork or handwritten stories, the driftwood he found on the ocean, heart rocks he collected on trails, photo albums dating back decades. there were no pots and pans, no spices-in-a-box, no favorite jeans or boots or that old ratty flannel shirt he couldn’t bear to toss out. he had no bill folder, no cellphone, no ipad, no coffee grinder or french press. no cds or dvds or canvases or paintbrushes or pencils or paper.

dale had just nothing. yet he looked as though he was completely confident in the world, wandering, exploring, warbling in that gurgling kind of way. apparently, male turkeys do that most often in the spring when they are looking for love. he must have thought that (one of) thelovesofhislife might be in allendale.

a friend of mine is moving from her home of decades. the decision to move was pragmatic and the move will be generative for them. and yet, there is the whole moving-from piece of it. sometimes i think about that. i understand the need to run and touch every glass doorknob, to brush the woodfloor with one’s fingertips, to wander from room to room, deep in memory. when i think about moving – i know that there would be much stuff to go through, dispose of, to give away. but it’s this place – this house – that holds so many emotions. it’s a mixed bag. after all this time – this town feels like home. after all this time – this town doesn’t feel like home. both are true. the dichotomy of these truths wakes me in the night sometimes and i ponder staying, going.

i used to tell the kids – when they were making a decision – to imagine themselves having made it one way and to feel what that feels like. then, imagine making it the other way and try to immerse in how that feels. it’s not always possible, but sometimes it’s an exercise that helps. in the middle of the night, it’s a seesaw.

what i do know is – as i look around this cherished home – that i must turkey-down. not so much on the main floors, but most definitely in the basement where the bins and boxes are stacked, waiting maybe for dale to come and retrieve them.

ahh, but dale is footloose and fancy-free and he has no interest in such baggage. he’s got places to go and things to see. he’s got a world to love. he blows a kiss to allendale and moves on.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY


1 Comment

in every walk of nature. [not-so-flawed wednesday]

one mention of jack-in-the-pulpit and i was back at blydenburgh park in smithtown. it didn’t take much to find myself in the woods, hiking along the nissequogue river, by the pond. camera in hand, early spring, looking for the earlybirds of the season. jack-in-the-pulpit didn’t disappoint, flowering shortly after my birthday, spotted on muddy hikes on brisk days.

i remember bike-hiking there, with susan. i just googled it and the county park was only 6.6 miles from my growing-up house. we would ride bikes everywhere. our destination of choice – most of the time – was crab meadow beach, but you know that. even in the winter, when handlebar-turned-down-10-speeds were impossible, my trusty little bug would get me there, to that beach. i would walk and walk and walk. the shoreline is a good place to think, to grow, sandy step by sandy step.

last friday – as it approached the end of the workday – we looked at each other. “fridaynightdatenight,” we tossed into the kitchen. as the hour wore on, we pondered what to do – on this datenight. an iffy-weather day, we didn’t bundle up late afternoon for a hike or even a walk. we were looking forward to making a big stockpot of soup, glass of wine in hand. we have three books we are mutually reading. we are binge-watching new amsterdam. dogga was at our feet in the kitchen. it was a cozy fridaynight.

the next day we hiked. because we really do love to be outside on a trail.

and the more i hike, the more i remember hiking.

but somewhere along the way, i stopped.

i didn’t hike. i didn’t take long walks.

and i am somewhat astounded to think about that now.

but not everyone likes to be on a trail or even a sidewalk, for that matter. not everyone likes to merely take-a-walk in the company of someone they love.

i didn’t realize how much i missed blydenburgh park and crab meadow beach and millneck manor and planting fields arboretum and smith’s point park and hoyt farm nature preserve – places so very familiar to me because i walked them – again and again – until i started memorizing the des plaines river trail and the van patten woods and bristol woods and allendale sidewalks along the lakefront.

that’s when i realized how much i had missed, how much each step on trails feeds me – nearby, or in the high mountains of colorado or the smoky mountains of north carolina, along the easternmost long island beaches or in the woods of upstate ny state parks or in the red rock of utah.

the trees were submerged in the river; there had been some mild flooding. i know these trees. we’ve watched them through seasons on saturdaydatehikes or latemondaytuesdaywednesdaythursdayafternoondatenights. we’ve attached to this trail and it feels as if it remembers us as we pass along it. soon, i think i’ll look for jack-in-the-pulpit, just in case. it would likely bloom later here than in blydenburgh park. spring is later here.

as i bent way down, camera in hand, to shoot through the mulch at the river, i was transported back to that suffolk county park, camera always in hand. and it made me think about all the years i had not stepped foot on a trail, had not walked-until-blisters, had not watched the water rise and fall on rivertrees or glimpsed jack-in-the-pulpit in the underbrush.

i wonder about what those decades of trails would have looked like, what mountains i may or may not have climbed, what roiling rivers i might have entered or not entered, what out-of-breath conversations would have taken place, what problems sorted, what challenges summited, what decisions made, what disasters averted, what center might have been out there, what wisdom trails may have gifted me, what might be different.

“in every walk of nature, one receives far more than he seeks.” (john muir)

i’m glad to have found my way back.

walks of nature.

blydenburgh park is 898 miles from here. crab meadow beach is 908. smith’s point park is 924. upstate new york around 1000. the smoky mountains are 739. the high mountains of colorado are 1237. moab et al is 1511. all on the list of places to return to. places to hike, to walk.

but bristol woods is 13 miles and the des plaines river trail is 12. and either of those is a worthy handinhand fridaynightdatenight.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY