back in the day i spent a lot of time on the sidelines of soccer fields, baseball diamonds, basketball courts, tennis courts. under fleece blankets and roasting in the sun, i have listened to coaches coaching and parents of team members instruction-yelling. i have sat on bleachers and watched lessons and warmups and scrimmages and many, many games and tournaments and matches. i have attempted – poorly, i might add – my hand at golf and volleyball, tennis and ping-pong – some quite limited times – and have been instructed with good intention – but with little prowess for application.
the things that i have heard – over and over – and over and over – is to keep your eyes open, to keep your eyes on the ball.
it makes sense. not only will it help in balance, in appropriate contact with the ball, in prediction of the ball’s trajectory, it keeps you in the game. it’s essential.
in these times – in this country – it would seem the same: to keep your eyes open, to keep your eyes on the ball.
it also seems utterly impossible to do – if you are relying entirely on mainstream – legacy – media. for they, in many ways, have dropped the proverbial ball. they are languaging these days of chaos in milder terms than should be tolerated. they are minimizing and normalizing. it is leaving the reds in red-land where they are fed conspiracy after conspiracy, lie after lie. it is leaving the blues in blue-land where the words describing the actions and intentions of the current administration are sorely lacking in descriptors that even begin to touch the peril in which this country finds itself.
if the course of ten years ago – and since – hadn’t already brought us to the place of question-asking, fact-checking, source-locating, detail-expounding, independent-media-watching/reading/listening, the horror of these days would have pushed us there.
we have encountered many who would just rather not. rather not know, rather not talk about it, rather not deal with it, rather not.
we are simply keeping our eyes on the ball. it will help keep us in balance, in appropriate contact with the game, in prediction of the trajectory.
anything else is the behavior of wishful thinking, the behavior of ostriches, the behavior of people who don’t care what happens to this country, its laws, its land, or its people.
being an informed citizen is essential. let’s keep our eyes open.
it is incumbent upon us as we hike to be as familiar as we can with vegetation that may be harmful. it would not serve us well to go plowing though poison ivy or linger in poison hemlock. we need to be able to discern the difference between cow parsnip and giant hogweed. we need to be informed.
were we on the pacific crest trail we would need to be able to instantly recognize poodle dog bush and to stay away from stinging nettle and poison oak. we would need to be discerning. we would need to be informed.
in this day and age, being informed has become easy. most of us carry in our back pocket or our purse the potential to research anything. absolutely anything. to avoid danger. to make choices. to exercise good judgment. to stay up to date. in a fast-moving world, we need to be informed.
and yet, in this incredibly dangerous time in our country, there are those who are complacent – who have turned a blind eye to what is happening. granted – it is hard to find the truth of it all, for this administration wishes to obscure all that it is really doing and couch what they do portray to the public eye as making america grrrrreat. but, it feels like our duty to at least try and discern what might be harmful to us and to those who follow us in future generations.
which brings me to the bbb – the big ___ bill – which i out and out refuse to call “beautiful”.
if one is not really paying attention – really, really paying attention – one might miss some of the really “great” rhetoric in that bill. because in the middle of all the schlemiel schlimazel blahdeeblah skewed propaganda about money and money and more money (benefiting the wealthy money-ladened oligarchs and gluttonous corporations among us – the greedy end goal of this administration) there are some nasty little hidden secrets.
if one is just riding the edges of the media – or if one is utterly and fully ensconced on the big red wagon – one is hearing about the money-money parts of this b-b-bill, the isolationist parts of this b-b-bill, the mass deportation intentions of this b-b-bill, but nothing about, say, the very real possibility of not being able to hold this government in contempt or even accountable. or perhaps one should foray into what the b-b-bill says about immigration or co-opting military force against the citizens of this country or maybe the decimation of social programs and safety nets or the desecration of national lands, resources, education or healthcare or-or-or… a little discernment goes a long way. we need to be informed.
the not-so-beautiful-but-actually-quite-gruesome-bill, the one that will affect every single one of us, sans the billionaires among us, is lurking in dark corners, hiding its every project 2025 intention, threatening this democracy in every way.
and we absolutely need to be informed.
you simply cannot wander – uninformed – into poisonous underbrush and not be poisoned by it.
for a potato pretending to be a pear, this potato is not doing a great job. “poser!” 20 said, looking at the potato on the counter. we all laughed. and then i took out the peeler and cut it up to boil in the pot and make mashed potatoes. some posers are harmless.
i read the comments on facebook, grimacing. i get a certain pain in my heart when i see this sort of thing. here was a person hoo-rah-ing someone else’s achievement. now, that sounds like a good thing, yes? only in this case, this person – the one doing the hoo-rah-ing – had voted against the rights and freedoms and safety of the person whose achievement they were hoo-rah-ing. a transaction. this kind of poser is a hypocrite. this kind of poser is harmful, for this kind of poser can not be trusted.
i had a lengthy call with old friends on the phone this week. they told of a relative with whom they had conversation. the relative is dedicated to the new administration and its agenda, touting the good hard work the oligarch and his cohort-the-prez are doing for this country. my friends asked how she felt about USAID and this country’s new administration’s position lacking responsible compassion. she had no idea what USAID was. this person is a poser citizen, a poser voter. and this kind of poser is dangerous.
if you are planning on wholeheartedly sticking with the direction this administration is heading – where they have already taken us – then i would merely suggest you get yourself informed. read. research. ask questions. watch news that is factual – something that is not fox news, one america network or any “state tv” that conveniently forwards only things that make this evil self-serving administration look like brilliant people who care about the populace. find out what the ramifications of project 2025 might be to people you purport to care about, to issues you feel are important, to any sense of compassion you think you have.
be careful not to speak out of both sides of your mouth at the same time. you simply can’t have it both ways. be consistent. be honest. be transparent. don’t pretend to care about things or people you vehemently voted against.
you either are – in favor of all this evil – or you aren’t. own it. anything else is posing.
sometimes smack-dab is based on something we saw or heard. sometimes smack-dab is completely made-up. and sometimes smack-dab is autobiographical. this time – this cartoon – is most definitely that – from the first person.
i do lay awake – wide awake – at night thinking about this election. i spend hours thinking…thinking about the issues at hand, thinking about what is at risk, thinking about what the fallout could be, thinking about what others are thinking. particularly people i love and care about.
it worries me that there is bandwagon-energy-infused-reactionary-anger that is blocking the good and rational, critical-thinking hearts of voters ensconced in maga-world.
it alarms me that the screaming-fired-up propaganda thwarts people’s true consideration of reality, of how their votes would affect those they purport to care about, of how this country would change from by-the-people-for-the-people to under-the-thumb-of-autocracy – the very fascism my sweet poppo, 20’s dad, my brother-in-law, david’s nephew, dear friends fought and fight against.
it disappoints me to the core for my daughter’s future to think that the diminished rights of women my sweet momma endured – and which she gratefully watched as that ever-so-slowly changed – would once again fall under a patriarchal iron fist.
it devastates me that there are people – who i clearly know – for a maga vote is a vote against LGBTQIA rights – who will vote against the possibility of my son’s right to marry, his right to possibly adopt a child some day if he would wish to.
it confounds me that the same people who are on medicare and receive social security, or whose children go to public schools, or who subscribe to healthcare via the affordable care act or medicaid, would want to change these social programs in any way that negatively affects their benefits or those who follow them.
it confuses me that people would vote for the further pushing-under-water of the middle class and for exponential growth for the wealthy, when most people in this country are just getting by and making the chasm between classes even wider would elicit even more emotional division and even less potential, fewer possibilities.
it disgusts me that people would wish for the tiny children of our country to look up to this person they will vote for who has so little integrity, who is a puppet to the biggest of big money, who is down-right mean-spirited in every arena, who is a narcissistic criminal, who is apparently soul-less. i can’t fathom telling my three-year-old, my eight-year-old, my twelve-year-old, my teenager, “this – THIS – is the best man to be our president.” i can’t wrap my head around gifting my children, my grandchildren, my great-children or this democracy with THAT as a legacy.
so i lay awake at night. wide awake. i think about what people are thinking about. i wonder what they care about, who they care about. i worry if it’s just too late to hope that they are thinking or caring.
we overheard a conversation. a few teenage girls were walking together in the park, just ahead of us on the sidewalk. one turned to the other – in the middle of telling a story about a boy – and said, emphatically, that she told him, “i don’t know you like that.”
i texted it to myself, not because her specific boy-story was relevant to me in the moment, but because her statement was.
“i don’t know you like that.”
in these troubled and highly-charged times, it feels like a repeating chorus.
there are repeating-choruses – the kinds that are used to raise the spirit of a group of people together. repeating-choruses create shape, underscore the theme, the hook, or the important message. they encourage singing along. think about queen’s we will rockyou or neil diamond’s sweet caroline or elton john’s your song, the beatles’ let it be. if you’ve ever been in a concert with everyone singing one of those songs, you know how powerful voices raised together are.
and then there are repeating choruses – the kinds that are used to raise the ire of a group of people together. those repeating-choruses also create shape. they are choruses of untruths, choruses of ferocity, choruses of bandwagon, choruses for ‘rushees’ rushing to get into an elite group to be popular, rallying choruses that make angry people part of a club. watching the insurrection in horror – live on television – with everyone chanting and screaming – no examples needed – gives you an idea of how powerful voices raised together are.
“i don’t know you like that” is the chorus that plays over and over in my mind. over and over i am aghast at the commentary of people – people i don’t know, people with whom i am acquainted, people i am friends with, people who are dear to me. it is personally devastating to see or hear their political positioning, as they sing repeated praises of what can only be interpreted as evil intent, and know what – and who – they are willing to sacrifice. what of those who will be marginalized, those who will be diminished, those whose lives will be upended, those who will not have freedoms promised to them, those they are supposed to love? i want to implore: but wait!! how is this possible? i don’t know you like that! i don’t know your good heart like that!
and media continues to beat the drum of propaganda. the ludicrous spreads. the people are gaslighted. and the choruses build.
the teenage girl in the park was clear. insisting “i don’t know you like that” dissuaded the boy and all of his attempts to spend time with her. we know this because we heard her story. it was simple. he had ill intent. she pushed back.
what will dissuade people from all the false narrative, the misinformation? what will reveal to them the cruel hidden-agenda-in-plain-view – the real plan for this nation that they are avowing with a maga vote for this? what will make those motives abundantly clear? what will make people less rabidly reactive, more discerning? what will make them listen, hear the truth? what will make them push back against this evil?
does it matter that i feel flabbergasted – shocked, really – and heartbrokenly distraught – by your apparent lack of concern for my gay son and his future, my daughter’s womanhood, every single “red and yellow, black and white” of any age, gender, orientation, socioeconomic status, religion, your lack of dedication to truth, justice, democracy?
it is a period of lost horizon. right and left, groups of peoples are being marginalized. right and left, rights are being stripped. right and left, the insinuation – no, the out-and-out statement – of violence is threatened. right and left, the environment is suffering. right and left, the clouds are ever closer to the horizon. they are sinking down nearer where the sky meets the ground. the sun is not getting in. truth is cloaked in agenda. the experiment is suffocating. right and left.
and what will be left when the fog lifts?
in the backyards of this country, in the middle of hot dogs and potato salad and apple pie, red, white and blue bandanas and sparklers in the chubby hands of small children, are we being at all vigilant about clearing the fog? are we discerning? are we observing and weighing and thinking-it-through? are we casually watching fireworks that celebrate the independence we stand to lose? are we aware? are we fogged in?
it is a watershed time. right and left. all the way around.
this is not just about us. this is about all those who follow.
when you gaze at your grandson, your granddaughter, do you ponder his or her life moving forward?
do you ponder if they will understand – will respect – that this america was built on the diversity of its people?
do you ponder if they will have choices, if she will have autonomy over her body?
do you ponder if they will have access to social programs – like public schools, access to welfare, medicaid, social security, medicare – like you do?
do you ponder if they will live in a climate environment that is healthy, that is sustaining, that is replenishing, that is balanced?
do you ponder what they will learn about history in school? will it be real history or some edited abdicating version of history? from where will they draw wisdom?
do you ponder if they will hold a sense of gratitude for the veterans of this country – their great-grandparents, their grandparents, their parents, possibly themselves – for fighting for the independence of this united states of america, for fighting for the integrity of the constitution?
do you ponder if they will be able – to be free and welcome – to move about in the whole wide world, to pursue dreams, to love whomever they wish?
do you ponder if their world will be equitable for all people, all genders, all orientations, all races, all economic statuses, all worshippers, all agnostics, all atheists?
do you ponder the life of your grandson or granddaughter should he or she be gay? a woman? a person of color? poor? not christian?
do you ponder if they – as all men and women – with no exceptions – will be held accountable for misdeeds, will be held to the values and the law in this land of the free and the brave?
do you ponder if they will experience aggression – here at “home” – at the highest level?
do you ponder if they will live in a peaceful world or a darkly dangerous world, a world of main streets and neighborhood grocery stores and festivals and schools and religious institutions with concealed automatic weapons, a world ravaged with war, a world of hatred, a world built instead on nationalism and extremism?
what – exactly – is your definition of freedom? is it a manifesto – “project 2025” – built on a governing system sans checks and balances – a transitional template to tyranny? have you read these “promises” of “change”?
have you truly done a deep dive into what could happen – in this country – the one with spacious skies and amber waves of grain?
what do the fireworks symbolize?
are you circumspect at all about what will be there when the fog lifts?
and, in really defining who you are – now, in the partisan sense of the words “right” and “left” – will you turn right or turn left?
will you truly – truly – evaluate all that is at stake?
will you stop listening to the screaming voices and clear the fog and sort to what is really being said?
will you look beyond the hype and the surge of adrenaline and the shot of popularity that comes from expressing anger and riding the bandwagon?
will you read, research, ask questions, seek truth?
will you be responsible? will you be a responsible citizen?
will you step back, turn away – even momentarily – from the fervor of spectacle and actually look at that which is in plain sight, that which is up-close, clear, terrifying?
what do you want for that grandson, that granddaughter? really?
what do you want for your children? really?
what do you want for you, your family, your community, this country? really?
do you wish for amorality? tyranny? fascism?
what is our individual and collective legacy to Next?
the fog will dissipate and the horizon will become clear. that’s how fog works.
to be there is not to be in a nod-to-diversity. instead, the city embraces diversity. it is true to its intention. the rainbow flags and “proud” banners and painted buildings are emblems of this good intention.
but one must be wary of emblems, of symbols, of misspoken intents. to live in today’s world is to bring a bit of doubt to the table, to ask questions, to do your homework, to be informed. for not every mission statement will stand up to scrutiny, not every symbol of goodness will survive real review. it is surprising – at best – to realize that agenda has superseded goodness and has taken your trust for a ride. beware of generalizing virtue simply because it falls under the umbrella of a symbol.
i have been immersed in places in which i placed all my faith, sans skepticism or dubiety. i have been in communities that touted their transparency, their compassion, their participation in good mission. all the while, the flags of opacity, of hidden agenda, of untruths spoken and truths unspoken, flew quietly and deliberately in, usurping any good intention that remained, driving out the hard work of community-building, of the joy of the embrace. out of alignment, were the symbols capable, the symbols would shudder.
and so, i walk into the thick of the city, sensors on. i know there are issues, problems, but i know there is attempt to address these, to ask hard questions, to communicate, to resolve any perceived conflict.
reverse threading 