reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


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straws and lies. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

“the president is both the head of state and head of government of the united states of america, as well as commander-in-chief of the armed forces. under article II of the constitution, the president is responsible for the execution and enforcement of laws created by congress.” (whitehouse.gov)

i’m guessing that the man in illinois with the compostable straw company knew the responsibilities of the president when he voted. i’m also guessing that he wouldn’t have believed for a second that his own company would be at peril because of his vote. i’m guessing that he pictured straws – yes, straws – near the bottom of the list of concerns that a new president would tackle in first days of office. because, well, straws.

we sat at the diner in reno and i reached forward to grab a straw. in the middle of the table was a glass full of compostable straws. in a country where we use up to 500 million of these babies a day, the fact that these were compostable made me smile. as people who are careful about trash and recyclables – to the point of using a stove/oven that is 50-60 years old – because it still works – i was relieved to think that this very straw i was sipping from was not going to outlast me – by a couple hundred years – in some landfill somewhere.

so imagine the surprise of this business owner upon discovering that in the very first few days – days! – of his presidency, the new president – president! – whining about paper straws “exploding” on him – decided that paper was out and plastic was back in, implying that there is no need to concern oneself with single-use items and opening the door once again to toxic styrofoam and plastic debris outlasting all of us and imperiling the environment. in an about-face from the save our seas 2.0 act of 2020 – this administration went back to plastic-straw-zealousness with inane comments about sharks being too busy munching through the ocean to be bothered by straws. way to be on point about the fraught environment and a need for things to biodegrade. and now this riding-on-the-red-bandwagon businessman will likely lose his entire business which was built on his entire life savings. no worries. at least the prez won’t have exploding straws in his mouth. perish the thought.

which simply brings me to another point.

how is it that this administration – based on the definition on their very website about the duties of the president – is – within the first couple weeks – concerning itself with the straws of this world? how is it that this administration is not concerning itself with upholding the constitution of this country, abiding by the laws and rules of this land, governing within the checks and balances of appropriate power, carrying forward the tradition of this country, the life, liberty and pursuit of happiness for all people, perhaps, even, its own promises of “bettering life” for the average american and all the other blah-blah that was promised?

is it possible that this administration lied in order to get back into power?

you betcha.

so many lies. and so many people who believed it all, pedestalizing a man who deserves no pedestal.

and now, merely a few weeks in, among all the questions about this horrendous administration, there is one very big question:

which of his lies will be the straw that breaks the country’s back?

*****

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the american dream. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

we spoke quietly to them as we hiked. they seemed to be everywhere that day…on the trail, in the brush, by the river. they watched us; we watched them. we told them they could trust us, that we would not hurt them in any way. they didn’t flee, instead, aware of us, grazing a bit, snuffling in the snow. it is my hope that they felt no danger from us. when we hiked on, they moseyed, unhurried, beautiful innocence graceful through the snowy woods.

no danger. it was not that long ago when we did not feel impending danger.

all that has changed. rapidly.

and suddenly, we are thrust into a country where all is at peril. we are standing and staring at the unchecked mob taking over our democracy, at the purely evil intention permeating the administration that is destroying every vestige of the american constitution.

we watched hgtv the other night. there was a couple looking for a house in north carolina, specifically in rocky mount – where martin luther king, jr first spoke his “i have a dream” speech. as they visited houses, they remarked excitedly about one, “this is the american dream!!”

i grimaced. for what – exactly – is now the american dream?

is it destroying the foundation upon which this country was built? is it the annihilation of civil rights, of freedoms, of the helping programs in this country? is it stripping opportunity-for-all in favor of opportunity-for-only-a-very-few? is it adding to the income of a few billionaires, while decimating the lives of billions of ordinary folks, undermining any stability they might have had? is it aligning with authoritarians around the world, ignoring long-time allies and neighbors? is it gleefully watching people die in wars, in famine, in disease while shaving aid so that the wealthiest among us might not participate in paying taxes? is it deporting millions of innocent people who have been seeking a better life, contributing to our communities? is it living inside – and capitulating to – the maniacal sickness in the soul-less minds of the new administration? is it standing by, silently applauding your own bigotry? what exactly is the american dream?

if you are not deeply embarrassed by what is happening in these un-united states, i have no idea what is in your heart.

we are all at risk. there is impending danger.

every life is a march from innocence, through temptation, to virtue or vice.” (lyman abbott)

we are watching you – those of you who voted for this desecration of our country, for the scourge running the show.

so, which is it?

is your american dream virtue or vice?

*****

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yours. ours. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

the kohls department store shopping bag reads, “your community is our community.”

you would think that would be a great motto for the “leadership” of the united states government.

yeah. one big happy community. supporting the needs and challenges of each other, working for each other – leaning on how we are all more alike than different, lifting each other up – together. it isn’t a difficult concept.

a good leader – for a community – a tapestry of different people woven together – empowers others, stands in humility and with courageous and ethical vision, leads by example…there are too many virtuous characteristics to list, none of which are embodied by the current leadership of this country.

their community is not our community. and that could not be more clear.

i’m pretty sure that when my grandfather arrived at ellis island, his cautious expectation was that of optimism. he had landed in a place of new promise, a place of new opportunity, a place of new community.

the current administration of the same country my grandfather chose is swiftly undermining every bit of promise, opportunity and community. my grandpa would be horrified.

i’m pretty sure that when my father enlisted in the army air corps to fight in World War II – and was subsequently shot down, missing in action, taken prisoner of war – he did so with democracy in his heart, placing his own life on the line in order to push back against fascism and authoritarianism, to fight for community, for freedom.

the current administration of the same country for which my father sacrificed is swiftly beating back every iota of democracy, of the constitution, shielding itself from checks and balances, blatantly aligning itself with authoritarians of the world, deliberately going rapid-speed down the road of dismantling the very principles for which my dad fought. my father would be horrified.

but as we travel down this road, oligarchs leading the worshiping lemmings over the cliff, it appears that there is no one in the parade paying attention to the demise. the madmen are gleefully creating their own community bubble – dollar bills by the billions the membrane that separates them from the rest of the sea of America’s humanity. the parade of sycophants is too busy saving their own political and financial agenda to concern themselves with their actual constituents. the supporters of this administration are complicit in the cruelty of what they are witnessing, schadenfreude taking over their minds and hearts, cheering from the sidelines, immersed in misinformation and the negligence of refusing to fact-check, the turning of their backs on their very communities.

it’s all vile.

and my grandfather and father are staring from another dimension, wide-eyed and fearful at the demolition of promise and opportunity for all, freedom for all, the obliteration of any ‘yours is ours’ in these un-united states, the dismantling of their own hard-won legacy and the annihilation of the legacy of america.

*****

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waf.wfa.faw.fwa.afw.awf. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

“you need to stay in balance, she said. “if you read what is happening in this country and in the world, you need to spend the same amount of time doing something peaceful.”

it is impossible. to balance it all out. the detonized bomb that is this new administration is – fast and furiously – destroying this country. all in the wasteful, abusive, fraudulent name of waste, abuse and fraud.

i hardly know what to say.

it is all beyond comprehension.

it is pure evil.

waste, abuse, fraud. waste, abuse, fraud. waste, abuse, fraud,” the conscience-free administration repeats time and time and time again.

me thinketh these “leaders” lie-eth too much.

*****

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as clear as ice. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

merely glancing at this photo of ice-encased grasses makes it clear that it is cold out. very cold.

because some things are obvious. a no-brainer, as it’s said. you can see right through.

silence is like that.

remaining completely silent – not uttering a word of raging disdain or abject horror – in the middle of this country’s hellish descent in this time of destruction – makes your position – of complicity – obvious. a no-brainer.

this is a time demanding connection. this is a time when we need each other. we need to band together and buoy each other. we need mutual support in a liminal frozen space of atrocity as we all witness the stripping of our democracy. we need to talk. we need to ask questions. we need to sort. we need to speak up.

i haven’t been able to decide if i am more sickened by what’s happening in this country or by family, friends and acquaintances who – clear as ice – think it’s perfectly ok. like too many others, i wonder, “who the hell are you, anyway???”

you may think your stance is not transparently clear – while you publicly – and callously – try to give the impression of going about normal life normally – or while you pretend it isn’t happening – even privately – but your silence about these atrocities in very real life speaks volumes.

having been thrown under the bus before by people i have trusted – including perhaps you – i warily wonder how far you would go to support all this.

and so we reach to others, we connect, we stand with them, we protect each other as best we can.

because just as clear as ice your silent complicity are their good intentions. and the choice is obvious. a no-brainer, as it’s said.

*****

CONNECTED © 1995 kerri sherwood

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in the seats of america. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

i would rather drive than be driven. relatively easily solvable. i would rather fly than be flown. there is one teensy problem with that one though. i do not have the qualifications to fly a jet airplane. and so, if i wish to travel via jet from one place to another, i have to give it up – control, that is.

for me, it is not so much about control as it is about motion sickness. if my brain – sans bonine/dramamine/large quantities of ginger chews – can see what my intention is as i drive/fly, than i am able to go with the flow, so to speak, and my equilibrium seems to adjust. i never did get a pair of those funky anti-motion-sick glasses, so that is one thing i haven’t tried. but wearing a pair of those – in addition to a mask – onboard an airplane is sure to get me some looks.

i was nervous when my children were little and i had to fly places – away from them – for concerts or shows. giving over control to someone i did not know at the helm required more than a bit of trust for me. i had to consciously work at it once i was a mom, with much prayer and self-talk throughout the flights. ultimately, as time went by and i safely arrived at venues and back home, i learned – slowly – to give over, to trust that the person in the pilot’s seat had all of our best interests at heart. i learned – slowly – to utter a prayer for her or his clearheadedness and expertise, sit back and relax a little.

but now times are different. we just recently flew – pretty much right after a couple aircraft disasters had taken place and many FAA personnel had been fired – introducing more risk – and i found myself wishing we had had the option to drive. trust me, i do know that driving is more dangerous than flying, but – remember – i get to be behind the wheel so it all feels a little different. i managed to keep my calm and fly – several legs – out west and back.

but the idea of control has stuck with me.

because here we are – in the seats of america – with madmen at the helm. here we are – sitting in a democracy being taken apart, being dismantled piece by piece. here we are – citizens of a country in which every check and balance is going unchecked, where oversight is being eliminated, where the core of our republic is being shredded.

this is most definitely a time to be absolutely worried about control. the risk is monumental, the potential loss world and life-changing. this is not a time to trust nor to give over. this is a time to be wary, to not sit back, to not relax. they do not have our best interests at heart.

“there are times when fear is good. it must keep its watchful place at the heart’s controls.” (aeschylus)

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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the grey cloud. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

it feels somewhat risky to write this ahead. who knows what will have taken place between when i am writing and the day this blog publishes. it all seems a downward spiral, a tornado of ruin. i shudder to think about next week as i write this today. and the next week. and the next. and the next year. and the next. and the next. and the next.

i feel fortunate – and now, with the perspective of the day, even more fortunate – to have lived – until now – in a country that has functioned as a democracy. my sweet poppo – a POW in WWII – fought against the very peril we are now facing. even with all its failings, with all the grappling for equality, with the what-seems-continual fight for freedoms and rights, we have not been in a place where we are segregating ourselves from the rest of the world, where leaders are distortedly centric, maniacal and extreme, where we had to fear for our future – day by excruciating day – as we watch the dismantling of our very republic.

and now, here we are.

and – once again – i look to all the people who voted for this disaster and ask, “is this what you wanted?”

and, i would add the question, “why?”

it is most difficult for me to comprehend the glee of the moment for those who support all this. it is most difficult for me to grok how people wish so much harm for other people. it is most difficult for me to understand how this storm makes them happy, makes them feel successful, makes them feel even remotely human.

what tornado – what grey cloud of torturous destruction – ever brought any good into the world?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

in-the-questions

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the tommys. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

there is a point that dumbing-it-down is to the point of ridiculous.

this sign – “this is a healing environment. aggressive behavior has no place here.” – was in a hospital elevator.

has humankind reached the outer-limit of insanity?

it made me feel physically ill to see this sign posted at the hospital. and yet, i’m guessing some people actually need the reminder. for aggression seems to be totally acceptable these days – even revered.

the second part of the sign spelled out what aggressive behavior is. as if those tending toward violence need a checklist of those things they should think twice about.

when tommy repeatedly twisted my wrist in elementary school – on the playground in third or fourth grade – i knew it was violent. though they tried to convince me that it was a form of affection – just teasing – i (and my reddened, sore wrist) knew better. i’ve actually seen him on social media in days of late – he is way down the rabbit hole, passing on vapid misinformation, his language usage aggressive, his bully tone the same as it was on the playground when he refused to stop twisting my wrist, when he refused to apologize. tommy has not changed.

apparently we do need to gear down – to spell out what violence is, what violence does, how violence destroys. and yet…though we are seeing – firsthand – the fallout of this administration’s brutal slashing of our democracy, the people who voted for this – and also being harmed by the vicious slash-and-burn – are still supporting this aggression.

for that is what it is. aggression.

and again, i am astonished by the level of bamboozle in which they have gleefully participated. i am astonished by the level of worship they have bestowed upon bullying leaders who could care less about them. i am way beyond disappointed to watch the same people i have known – or loved – for decades actively take part in disenfranchising others, in shredding the rights of so many living in this democracy, in violent rhetoric and action.

these last years – particularly since 2016 – have shown that so many of this country’s people have fallen prey, drowning in ignorance. they have given up any iota of critical thinking skills, have turned over their sanity to live inside the sicknesses of these destructive leaders. they have screamed and insurrected and forwarded lies and they have blasphemed – in word and deed – all that we believed them to have been, all that they pretended to be. they – apparently – need the sign in the hospital elevator in order to know how to behave, to be decent human beings.

it is all around us, this full-out aggression. in every arena. so much so that a place of healing has to put up signs.

it’s pathetic.

the tommys are winning.

*****

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red flags. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

theme and variations.

transparency. accountability.

i’m quite sure we will hear these words – and any variation thereof – until our ears fall off.

if you have ever noticed, it is the very people who utter these words – again and again and again – who are the absolute least transparent, who bear the absolute least accountability.

it matters not where you hear it – institutions, organizations, the government – it matters not what position the person holds spewing these buzzwords – it matters not that they will never be transparent about their lack of transparency nor will they be held accountable for their lack of accountability – it is worthy of every eye roll ever invented.

these words are everywhere. really. everywhere.

and so is the hypocrisy. really. everywhere.

these words are red herrings. the canaries in the coal mine. and every red flag to which you might want to pay vigilant attention.

even back in the day the most prolific of composers knew the impact, they knew that one slice of melody could yield a plethora of music pieces, variation after variation.

ahhh, but these composers had no ill intent. they just knew that if you kept repeating the theme, people would pay attention, the melody would be stuck in their heads; it would be the thing listeners remembered.

funny that’s exactly what’s happening here too.

repeat it enough and people pay attention, it gets stuck in their heads. people remember it. people believe it. ding-ding-ding! they – those who issue these words with enmity and malice – win.

transparency and accountability.

the pressing question is whether YOU actually believe it.

*****

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the imperative of peace. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

dreamy.

many other adjectives came to mind to eloquently describe lake tahoe, but dreamy seems to fit the best right now.

in the way that sometimes happens with monumental beauty, i instantly felt a sense of peace descend over me…exactly what i needed.

for this has been a time. and i – like you – am filled to the brim, yearning for something different, something that builds up and does not tear down, something that is positive, filled with grace and not negative and filled with hatred. already, this is all exhausting. already, i am exhausted. we – all of us – have lost so much. and, though hopefully this will change – something will stop this destruction of our sea to shining sea – things will never be the same. betrayal has left its mark on us.

and so, the sight of this lake in the distance, as we approached, up close and personal, was balm for my spirit and i felt it wash over me.

some places are like that. you instantly feel a kinship with the vista, grounded by its simple, natural beauty. after all, this is merely mountains, forest and lake. nothing manufactured, nothing contrived, quietude with the potential for a tranquility that is so very powerful.

we do not live near this stunning landscape, but we do live in a landscape of our own. and i know that we must look to it for salve, for soothing us, for a balance of goodness against all the evil being perpetrated upon our country. clearly, we need to deal with the reality of what is happening here. clearly, we need to rejuvenate from the reality of what is happening here.

i think we need do that any which way we can.

there is a lot ahead of us. everything we have known is grotesquely distorted and people we have known have actively participated in that. it is the stuff of bad dreams. and we each are waking up to the horror of it all. as we brush the real-life nightmare from our eyes and wake to another day of fighting to keep our democracy, it is incumbent upon us to bring strength and resolve and a bit of peace from which we might draw these.

we will be looking everywhere we can for that peace, to join with it. it is an imperative.

now he walks in quiet solitude the forests and the streams / seeking grace in every step he takes / his sight has turned inside himself to try and understand / the serenity of a clear blue mountain lake…” (john denver – rocky mountain high)

*****

PEACE © 2004 kerri sherwood

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