reverse threading

the path back is the path forward

Tag Archives: love one another


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empathy like our dog. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

the owner of these beautiful amber eyes is an empath like no other. dogga tunes in to every single thing around him – particularly us.

he reads our feelings, even anticipating them. his nature is to stay close, to monitor us, to be a furry support system. it is clear that he cares deeply about how we feel, despite the fact that he is not experiencing that feeling.

empathy.

i’m writing this on tuesday – the day of the big wisconsin supreme court vote. by the time you read this we will all know the outcome. but right now, we have no idea how this will turn out.

the media is covering this and social media is blowing up over this. the oligarch came to town, donned a cheese hat and gave away bribe money in support of his/their candidate.

so let’s for a second talk about that.

scrolling through facebook just a bit ago i came across a post about this red-supported-candidate and about the candidate opposing him. when i read posts, i also read people’s comments on the posts – for that is where one might glean why-on-earth this devastation is all happening.

and there it was.

and it was all about empathy.

in a post that listed factual articles about the candidate-on-the-red-wagon – with links – resources where you could learn about his actual stance on things, actions he has taken – a woman stated, “my vote is for [ him ]!” whattheHECK?!

i read through the posts with links, the other comments on the thread until i reached the last one.

that person responded that the woman – even faced with facts of how this judicial candidate irresponsibly handled sexual abuse cases as an attorney general – not to mention his staunch dedication to the outdated laws of 1849 – did not care. and here is the crux of it all:

“she is a privileged old white woman who hasn’t been affected by those crimes. no empathy for others; only herself.”

and that, my friends, is the whole point.

as a victim of sexual predation and rape, i want to say that comment resonated all too well. for what woman – who actually HAS empathy – would actually wish to have a rapist in the office of the prez? what woman – who actually HAS empathy – would want to even entertain the idea of any man – or woman – who is a predator, a molester, a sexual offender, a rapist in any position of power? what woman – who actually HAS empathy – would want a supreme court judge – for the federal government or – like now – for the state of wisconsin – who has sloughed off accountability, who has limited justice for sexual abuse survivors?

now read that again and substitute “what man”.

generalizing that out just a bit further – what human – who actually HAS empathy – would want any of the abomination of this new administration? the brutalization of immigrants, the annihilation of LGBTQ rights and safety, the minimalization of women’s rights, the marginalization of non-white races, the intentional dumbing-down and impoverishing of the populace, the tossing off of environmental and health safeguards, the dismantling of checks and balances and lawful governing, the isolationism and bullying of the rest of the world, the intense and toxic growth of corruption…the list goes on.

the answer is that these are the privileged people who haven’t been affected by any of these “things”. these are the apathetic, the cold-hearted, the bigoted, the sadistic, the callous, the merciless.

these are people who care only about their own tiny lives.

these are people with no empathy.

because – somehow in their closed worlds – if it doesn’t affect you it doesn’t affect you.

they should take a lesson from our dog with beautiful amber eyes.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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an urgency. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“the ordinary days have a way of lulling us into believing there isn’t any urgency to them…” (john pavlovitz)

we chose to binge-watch a favorite show’s entire season, under the quilt with snacks by our side and dogga at our feet. because there is this – living. and so we chose to stay still together, our socked feet nuzzled. we chose to go nowhere, to link arms sitting against the pillows in bed, to watch the afternoon sun wane through the window and turn to night. minutes and hours ticked by – an ordinary day embracing right now.

for there is – after all – an urgency.

an urgency of loving. to tell others around us they are loved. to unflinchingly gaze at each other – our partners – to speak the words every beloved wishes to hear, to catch your breath, to quietly hold hands.

an urgency of standing in the fire with each other. in the middle of any storm, any wound, any challenge, any anything – and to not close off, to not be aloof, to not ignore the pain, to hold healing together.

an urgency to do. to speak, to stand up, to fight back, to forgive, to create, to tear down. there is an urgency to recognize the driving force, to gather the tools, to seek the empty spaces, the vessels, the air, the canvasses to fill, to touch the imperative.

an urgency to breathe it all in. to go, to see, to voice, to hear, to taste, to touch – every microscopic bit of it. to immerse, to be one in it all, to be inert to the point of boredom, to move frenetically.

it is today. it is right now. we are only assured of this very moment, this very place. in feeling it – really feeling it – i hope that – for this moment – every other place disappears.

for there is an urgency in limited limitless. and so, in each and every heartbeat.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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we need be brave. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

it’s not like we initially had a choice.

boom! we were born. and there we were…wherever that was. random.

i often wondered why i wasn’t born into a family with trust funds and fabulous wealth. in recent times, i have decided that if this sort of status-in-life comes with the measures of evil we are witnessing from the oligarchs now at the helm of the country-ship, then i am glad i was spared.

and so, i am where i am. grateful for all that has been bestowed upon me.

the thing i have definitely learned – in my time here – is how brave one must be to be here.

we were sitting around the dinner table, lingering long with wine and conversation, when shelly said, “it takes the brave to come here.”

though at the time she wasn’t speaking about immigration, i would hasten to say that it clearly applies in that sense.

what i felt she was talking about was the transfer of amorphous soul to human being. here – this earth – is not an easy place – it has complications and complexities, egos and hard hearts, fragile love and steadfast commitment to it, dashed dreams, forgivenesses, betrayals and successes, personal perils and impossible challenges. definitely not easy.

to prevail in such a place – sans tough skin – is to ride a tide of emotion – upheaval with a smidge of smooth sailing here and there. but – as i have witnessed from so many others – somewhere along the way one reaches in and pulls bravery up from the depths. because it takes brave.

choosing right now to stand up, speak up, speak out, to not be silent, to not turn away demands that same bravery. here is not what it used to be and – watching the disintegration of everything i have known as this country – requires more than a morsel of courage.

sometimes we feel like an island – surrounded by louder voices that cheer on the nasty. aggression is at a peak; self-serving aggrandizement of the new administration’s agenda is a slap in the constitutional face of this nation.

we turn to those who will have conversation, those who will commiserate, those who will help to balance out the fear and angst we feel. we are all trying to be brave as we look history in the eyes and witness the systematic taking-down of our democracy.

personal perils we have had or have currently in our lives aside, there is a fundamental change happening here – for everyone in the masses.

we need be brave, have courage, be stalwart, lift our voices up.

every day we have awakened in our lives there has been something we have defeated – if only a tiny cold germ or an unkind word from another. we each came here – from some other dimension – to accomplish something, to be something, to contribute something.

i hope that we can be examples of a Here where others less fortunate than us want to be, where the brave are not only the immigrants seeking a better life, a better community, but the brave are us as well – stubbornly refusing to give over to the unconscionable, instead offering that better life, that better community – to others as well as ourselves.

we need all be brave. not the false bravado of the evil-intended, but the love-filled courage of people who are here – on this earth – working and living together, to sustain, to thrive.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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yours. ours. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

the kohls department store shopping bag reads, “your community is our community.”

you would think that would be a great motto for the “leadership” of the united states government.

yeah. one big happy community. supporting the needs and challenges of each other, working for each other – leaning on how we are all more alike than different, lifting each other up – together. it isn’t a difficult concept.

a good leader – for a community – a tapestry of different people woven together – empowers others, stands in humility and with courageous and ethical vision, leads by example…there are too many virtuous characteristics to list, none of which are embodied by the current leadership of this country.

their community is not our community. and that could not be more clear.

i’m pretty sure that when my grandfather arrived at ellis island, his cautious expectation was that of optimism. he had landed in a place of new promise, a place of new opportunity, a place of new community.

the current administration of the same country my grandfather chose is swiftly undermining every bit of promise, opportunity and community. my grandpa would be horrified.

i’m pretty sure that when my father enlisted in the army air corps to fight in World War II – and was subsequently shot down, missing in action, taken prisoner of war – he did so with democracy in his heart, placing his own life on the line in order to push back against fascism and authoritarianism, to fight for community, for freedom.

the current administration of the same country for which my father sacrificed is swiftly beating back every iota of democracy, of the constitution, shielding itself from checks and balances, blatantly aligning itself with authoritarians of the world, deliberately going rapid-speed down the road of dismantling the very principles for which my dad fought. my father would be horrified.

but as we travel down this road, oligarchs leading the worshiping lemmings over the cliff, it appears that there is no one in the parade paying attention to the demise. the madmen are gleefully creating their own community bubble – dollar bills by the billions the membrane that separates them from the rest of the sea of America’s humanity. the parade of sycophants is too busy saving their own political and financial agenda to concern themselves with their actual constituents. the supporters of this administration are complicit in the cruelty of what they are witnessing, schadenfreude taking over their minds and hearts, cheering from the sidelines, immersed in misinformation and the negligence of refusing to fact-check, the turning of their backs on their very communities.

it’s all vile.

and my grandfather and father are staring from another dimension, wide-eyed and fearful at the demolition of promise and opportunity for all, freedom for all, the obliteration of any ‘yours is ours’ in these un-united states, the dismantling of their own hard-won legacy and the annihilation of the legacy of america.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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as clear as ice. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

merely glancing at this photo of ice-encased grasses makes it clear that it is cold out. very cold.

because some things are obvious. a no-brainer, as it’s said. you can see right through.

silence is like that.

remaining completely silent – not uttering a word of raging disdain or abject horror – in the middle of this country’s hellish descent in this time of destruction – makes your position – of complicity – obvious. a no-brainer.

this is a time demanding connection. this is a time when we need each other. we need to band together and buoy each other. we need mutual support in a liminal frozen space of atrocity as we all witness the stripping of our democracy. we need to talk. we need to ask questions. we need to sort. we need to speak up.

i haven’t been able to decide if i am more sickened by what’s happening in this country or by family, friends and acquaintances who – clear as ice – think it’s perfectly ok. like too many others, i wonder, “who the hell are you, anyway???”

you may think your stance is not transparently clear – while you publicly – and callously – try to give the impression of going about normal life normally – or while you pretend it isn’t happening – even privately – but your silence about these atrocities in very real life speaks volumes.

having been thrown under the bus before by people i have trusted – including perhaps you – i warily wonder how far you would go to support all this.

and so we reach to others, we connect, we stand with them, we protect each other as best we can.

because just as clear as ice your silent complicity are their good intentions. and the choice is obvious. a no-brainer, as it’s said.

*****

CONNECTED © 1995 kerri sherwood

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where holy is. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

i’m not sure that i can point to the moment when i realized – with every fibre – that the truly holiest moments were not the ones in buildings called churches.

it is a moment for which i am grateful, perspective-arranging and a welcome addition to my secular vocabulary – the word “holy”.

i spent many decades creating the atmosphere in churches where people might tune in to the emotional of faith – that which they could not palpably touch but which they could feel, they could intuit, they could impart to others. through music that i specifically chose – after research, after studying the narrative to be used, and after much listening and evaluating if a piece might touch hearts – open or closed – i shaped the music of services – the everyday and the special holidays, the celebrations of joining together and the inevitable release of people to the next dimension – to freely acknowledge spirit as it flowed and to try to gently grace others with it through music. to try and encourage an openness to the spirit that breathed into the place and maybe into them, into a place inside them where they needed the sweet assurance. whether i was aware if it did or not was not my only measure of success. providing the tenor of possibility and holding space for holy and their experience of holy was my job. there were moments when the last strains of a song or piece of music lingered in the air over the congregation, moments when a choir of singers, paused in a rest between notes sung with dedication and commitment to each other that you could almost see holy in the hush – the sun shining through, its rays touching each person. but over the course of these decades of time spent in these buildings, i was inordinately disappointed – even stunningly – time and again – by the hypocrisy to which i was privy. true faith is as true faith does, holy is as holy does, i was reminded, over and over. disillusionment was – and still is – a repeating theme.

out on the trail, as the clouded sun shined through the winter landscape and reflected onto the river, i could see – once again – how holy turns up in the purest of moments, the simplest, the least contrived. we have been gifted by the universe – and whatever deity we each individually feel or – perhaps – in which we might believe – with the extraordinary: a world full of beautiful.

beautiful is a descriptive word – easily understood as describing something of beauty. and that is all around us. the reaching of people to people in times of abundance and in times of need, kindness to and embracing of our neighbors despite differences, the love between any and all, regardless of anything, nature and its astonishments. our holy is all around us.

for those of you who are invoking your – supposed – religiosity to validate your vote – and your support – for the cruelest chaos that is this new administration, those of you who are spouting righteous religious drivel to prop up your bigotry, i would venture to say you may have missed the point. sheer hypocrisy has taken over your holy.

holy has not only left the building, but it has clearly left your soul.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this K.S. FRIDAY

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anti-anti-woke. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

three sources. the bible, the statue of liberty on ellis island, the declaration of independence. all pointing – pointedly – to the same thing: no one is lesser or unworthy of respect.

in the current climate of these most-obviously un-united united states, it might do one good to remember any one of these powerful quotes. because the disrespect, minimalizing, oppression, degradation of people, the disenfranchising, the marginalization, the injustice, the out-and-out cruelty is mind-bogglingly unconscionable.

this administration’s pathetic excuses for validation are rampant gish gallop. and you – the anti-woke out there are being taken for a dangerous ride. at any moment, the gish-whip can be turned on you. but remember – you wanted this. you voted for it.

we are not forming “a more perfect union“. we – instead – are heading for dystopia.

a more perfect union loves one another. a more perfect union celebrates the richness of all diversity. a more perfect union learns from each other. a more perfect union is a place where “e pluribus unum (out of many, one) ” counts, where equality is a thriving verb, where each person’s life – regardless of any differences – is valued and cherished.

please wake up, you anti-wokers. your complicit sleep – on the galloping bandwagon over hill and dale all across this country – is killing our democracy.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

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$1.25 [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

the ornaments in the locked display cases were phenomenally expensive. it was a bit shocking. but we know many people collect things that are quite valuable and these definitely were perceived as that. the low end was just shy of $100 and the high end…well, rather high. we browsed them a bit, curious. i honestly cannot say that i wish we had purchased one or, for that matter, had even been able to purchase one. their ornateness did not appeal to me. too much. much too much. more is more is not us, especially when it comes to the baubles of the season.

i guess it echoes my sentiment – my heart – this simple-ing-down of it all. it is – for me – about the most basic things – this holiday season…regardless of religion. for me, this season of light – for which we have waited – reminds us that god (or whatever you call a greater deity) is with us. and i believe basic tenets are basic tenets, no matter what any book says – no matter if it’s written in red – no matter who said what – no matter the stories told. basic goodness – love, generosity, equality, kindness, grace – is basic and no scribed stuff should twist it into agenda.

in a time that celebrates peace on earth we are less than peaceful. in a time of gathering we are torn apart, divisive. in a time of generosity, there is greed beyond imagination. in a time of grace, there is marginalization. in a time of good will, there is monstrous evil. this is – most definitely – a world of hypocrisy. we need to seek light each and every day.

“and now you’re here in a world of hypocrisy and your love will heal us all…” (you’re here ©️ 2019 kerri sherwood)

it’s not the fancy stuff that makes me stop, get lost, offer a prayer. it’s the dollar tree $1.25 tiny metal wire tree ornament hanging in our kitchen. it’s the little foot-tall fold-up $1 tree in the middle of our dining room table. it’s the crystal ornament catching the light in the living room. it’s the old pickle on the tree. it’s the galvanized star hanging on our branch.

there is more brokenness to come; there are more shattered dreams. this is a season where we need support each other, heal each other – best as we can.

love one another. the simplest of things. and the hardest of things. ours to do – to exist – as humankind.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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the unthinkable black and white. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

if we had looked only at the sky, it would have reinforced the black-and-white-photograph world we felt we were in. the sky was so november. but the photo was in color and, despite feeling differently to our core, the world was in technicolor.

the trail was mostly empty, which was a good thing. we needed to be there – our lack of hiking through interminable covid was taking a toll. exhausted from covid, exhausted from doing nothing, exhausted after doing anything.

and so the sky heightened our feeling – of walking in the black and white of this past week.

by now you know i am horrified by the election, by its results, by the actual people voting for these results. it cannot be clearer to me that there is a dividing line between me and those people who voted against my own family. it is black and white…that clear.

i’d like to go all maya/mlk jr./gandhi, heck, i’d like to go all jesus christ (“love one another; as i have loved you.” john 13:34). i suspect they would be just as horrified. quoting any of them as any kind of justification in or support of this horror story is hypocrisy.

because you have knowingly undermined the safety, security, the rights of my family, of people dear to me – and that’s pretty black and white to me. and i realize i can maybe love you, but not respect you, not want to be around you, not trust you or feel safe with you. your heart is different than i thought i knew. and i can’t pretend i don’t know or that it doesn’t matter. this – this – is becoming black and white to me.

love is a two-way street. turning your back on humanity is not love. the cruelty and immense intentional hardship you intentionally voted in for other people – yes PEOPLE – no better or lesser than you – is not love. hate, misogyny, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia are not love. fascism is not based on love – you have fallen prey to cultish, narrow, extreme, bullying, propaganda-laden thinking that is not – despite the whipped-up and warped misinformed disdain you express at the price of eggs, individual gender identification, compassionate social programs – definitely not – based on love.

i’m pretty sure that many are struggling with this right now. we are all out here, internally trying to figure out the unthinkable – how our families or friends have betrayed basic rights – values – upon which we thought we agreed. it’s unimaginably brutal and painful and hard to wrap our heads around. it is so very, very sad. but it is pretty black and white.

it’s november. i drag my eyes from the november sky – where i was beseeching the universe for answers. and i look beside the trail, where leaves are still turning and the deer wait as we approach.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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real life. right now. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

when you drive almost 1900 miles around the southwest – on backroads, highways, interstates – you get to see some real life.

we drove from nevada to utah to arizona and back to nevada- a big loop. there was so much to see – even just out the window of the suburban stuffed with six people and six suitcases, six carry-on backpacks or tote bags, six water bottle koozies and lots of snacks. there were many lessons along the way as we drove through small towns, farms, ranchland, desert, canyonlands.

there were people. people living in these small towns, on these farms, on this ranchland, in the desert, homesteading by the canyonlands. real live people, an exclamation point of diversity.

i had the good fortune of meeting the woman who opened her home to us – through airbnb – a half hour or so south of the grand canyon. hers was not a five-star hotel. hers was not a resort-amenity-rich spa. hers was not a photo-shoot instagram-worthy house of smart finishes and interior design. hers was a home – her beloved home to which she was soon going to return to live.

you knew as you drove down the gravel road – past the mobile homes and modular houses. you knew as you pulled into her dirt driveway and pulled up to the porch, a little worse for wear. you knew as you drove in and the outbuildings scattered within the split-rail fencing were numerous. you knew as you walked in – the laundry room off the porch door – and the floor was worn. you knew as you strolled about in her home, filled with antiques, charming tchotchkes and quirky notes everywhere that explained how things worked or invited you in to her life.

she pointed at one of the outbuildings and told me that was to become her she-shed. she pointed at what looked like a pile of rubble and told me that was the beginning of a barn for her husband and his workbench. she was so excited to tell me that we were the last guests at her home and that after a couple weeks she and her husband would return there, would move back into their forever home, would be looking forward to the peace that space, that horizon, the mountains in the distance, the desert up close and personal afforded them. this was her sea-to-shining-sea. this place represented her freedom, the place she would heal from several medical challenges, the place she would grow old, the place she truly loved with all her heart. i wanted to weep for her happiness.

this is the time – RIGHT NOW – when we all get to vote for the place that represents our freedom. this is the time – RIGHT NOW – when we all get to vote for healing our nation from the division that has been stoked by the voices in maga-land. this is the time – RIGHT NOW – when we all get to vote so that we might grow old in a democracy, so that our children and their children can grow old in a democracy. this is the time – RIGHT NOW – that we all get to vote for a place we love with all our heart.

it matters not if we have a fancy home or a plain home. what matters is that we are grateful for this democracy that houses whatever home it is we have, wherever it is we live in these united states . what matters is that we are grateful for the freedoms, the constitution, the checks and balances of power, the mutual respect of each other – our sameness and our differences, the ability to have a voice.

we drove about 1900 miles. we saw the ultra-fancy and we saw the hovels in the middle of nowhere. we marveled at the uncanny ability of people to be resilient, to tenaciously cling to life and livelihood, regardless of their circumstance. we dreamed that this country would continue to address hardship – in all its forms – and that we would continue to step only forward.

we spoke about the airbnbs we stayed at. there were five, all different. this home – in the desert and unlike any of the others – touched my heart. this woman did the best she could to offer up her house to others who are traveling, to invite people in, to envelop them in warmth and the reassurance of home, albeit temporarily. i have so much respect for her – her unapologetic sharing of her home. she offered her beloved and imperfect space to complete strangers, trusting we would care for it. it was so much more than the option that offered a stark, austerely modern building, sans thoughtful gestures. it was a slice of real life.

real life is a country filled to the brim with people – all different. real life is a country that stands by e pluribus unum – out of many, one.

real life is meeting people – across this country – everyone different, in every different kind of circumstance – knowing we are all in this together.

real life is recognizing the urgency we face. it is being honest about what we could potentially lose and to whom we could lose it.

real life is RIGHT NOW – when it is completely and utterly delusional to think that everything would be better if the maga agenda wins, if hatred and bigotry and extreme nationalism and misogyny and the undermining of democracy win.

real life would never be the same. this country – our home – would never be the same.

be better than that. right now.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this K.S. FRIDAY

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