reverse threading

the path back is the path forward

Category Archives: DR thursday


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our space in the dirt. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

there was a meme that he showed me this morning. it depicted the milky way – with an arrow to a tiny dot you couldn’t see that said “you. paying taxes and living in fear.”

it was perspective-arranging.

the next thing i saw was a meme that spoke to the cutting of social programs as the new administration seeks to continue coveted tax breaks for the very wealthiest among us.

it was also perspective-arranging.

and so here we are – living this strangely bi-polar reality, seeking some kind of balance, some kind of hope, trying to stay centered, as cris wrote to us.

they hand-feed the cottontails at their back door every day. we gaze out the window at the things that keep us grounded – our dogga running around the pond, our sweet aspen tree “breck”, our old piano aging in the snow. it is the relentless pursuit of relentless presence.

at the same time there is much about which to be worried. there are merely days before every single thing changes and this country will be run by heartless souls who wouldn’t feed a cottontail or watch a piano age under any circumstance. we are clinging to some sort of it’ll-be-ok even though we don’t think it will and we find it mind-boggling and heartbreaking to think of all the people who are pleased with the cruel impending mindset of our country.

it’s freezing today as i write this – a couple days before it will be published. by the time it is published the weather will be a bit better – for a day or two. it’s supposed to break over the freezing mark and hit forty degrees. but for right now – this very moment – it feels like 4 and we are side by side under the quilt, sipping coffee with dogga at our feet. it is a suspended moment in time but we can feel the other moments coming.

this year i will turn 66 and david 64. we wonder if – in our lifetime – we will actually see this country return to a place of compassion and sanity. what if it doesn’t? what if the self-aggrandizing-corruptly-narcissistic-strategically-agendized-greedy oligarchs just continue their reign for decades, pushing down those of us who have far less so that we will have far-far less? what if we move into a state of being where there is no equality – there are no rights – for anyone who is different than those in cold, extremist leadership positions?

breck doesn’t know the answers. but breck stands – fervently staunch – in the wind, the rain, the snow and hot sun – and thrives. it takes up the most minuscule amount of space in the dirt on this earth in the solar system of this galaxy. and so do we.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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prickly. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

we move forward in this new year – attending to the processes of democracy and this nation’s constitution. we pass by the sixth of january.

“four years ago, a few thousand insurrectionists attempted to disregard the laws of this nation for a single career criminal. and what they could not accomplish then in the capitol rotunda, 77 million americans now have at the voting booth: the voices of our forebears have been rendered silent, the protections of our constitution have been destroyed, and a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, and wannabe dictator has been given the keys to the kingdom.” (john pavlovitz)

if that is not prickly, i don’t know what is.

once upon a time, back in the day, there was a sexual predator. he was charming and indubitably well-versed at preying on young women. he started by grooming – paying undue attention to these young women – even girls – who were far younger than he, gifting them, serenading them with song and words that – clearly – meant nothing. because he was well-practiced, it did not take him long to go from zero to sexual abuse – his deflowering count blossoming. and then – post-conquest – he would quickly discard that conquest – another young woman who was forever-devastatingly-changed – and move on to the next. he was never punished for any of his crimes nor was he ever held accountable. the misogynistic men who knew and who should have handled the crimes of this crony-of-theirs stayed silent, a peer group of complicity, continuing to enable him. he still walks about freely here in these united states. for decades.

prickly, eh?

and here we are – decades later – nearly half a century since the time of this one devastating story among millions of such stories – and we have not moved any further along. as a matter of fact, we have now elected a misogynistic sexual abuser – with his own bevy of complicit lawless cronies – to the highest office of the land.

it’s just like the story from back in the day. interesting how little has changed. only – now – 77 million people are part of the story – who not only stayed silent but became a part of the enabling – who stamped their wholehearted approval and voted him in – a man liable for sexual abuse.

if you don’t feel prickly about that, i don’t know what’s wrong with you. because your embrace of violence – your ignorance, pushing this newsy news aside – your lack of morality – your perpetuating of this travesty – your complicity – has placed every single woman in this country in peril.

in the way that conditional if-then statements work, that would all condense to: if you voted for him then you are culpable.

pretty prickly.

“we don’t coddle our kids when they spew nonsense or think the truth is irrelevant. we correct them.” (rex huppke)

or – as history and the present show – we let them walk free and even make them president.

“the decision to put someone like [him] back in the most powerful position in america should be embarrassing. it wasn’t.” (rex huppke)

prickly as all hell.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work has directly impacted you. xoxo


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of fire. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

there is a reverence of fire. it centers me into stillness, quiet time when much else slips away. just silently staring at its dance makes time – always vibrating – shift into slower motion.

there are moments – sitting in front of a fire – when you can feel that you are coming back to yourself. it is like the somethings that have been covered over, put aside, chucked away come forward and the fingers of flame burn off what hides it from your heart. the fire melts the rigid in you, pushes you past doubt, past angst, and beyond places that ache.

and suddenly we are a tiny bit open – more open than before – to the universe tapping our shoulder, to releasing the fear of being raw, to cracking open the vulnerable, to receive gifted divine intervention, to maybe-just-maybe wings to Back.

“may courage

cause our lives to flame,

in the name of the fire

and the flame

and the light.”

(john o’donohue)

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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the fog is waiting. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

because we started late – not in our 20s or 30s or even 40s – much stuff was already in place – things like couches, tables, cozy chairs, cabinets, dressers, lamps, appliances – and we didn’t have to start from scratch.

but – as our time together has moved on – in our adding and deleting – we have chosen certain pieces to bring into our life together and we have celebrated those pieces in the space we share.

this past summer we added this handmade metal piece, placing it in the garden with the grasses, loving the way it played with light and shadow. much like the chunk of concrete in our living room or the vintage suitcases scattered in our home, it was a small purchase but it was something we knew would spend some time with us, tracking through seasons.

it’s foggy this morning. dense fog, i imagine it has invisibilized the lake. it’s pulling us.

today is a day to walk…outside. the quiet will envelop us as we hike in the woods and process these days – days for which we all make so many preparations, days that go by so quickly, seasons that carry those we love through and through into next and next, ever so swiftly. time does not stand still, does not wait for our witness, and the moments slip through our fingers much like we will slip through the fog.

we sit, under a blanket and not yet ready to go out, marveling at the perfection and the evanescence, the yearning and the satisfaction of time. we hold onto this moment of this minute of this hour of this day of this season – where we are warmed by a quilt, where can see each other typing, where we can hear the deep sleeping breaths of dogga right here. i try to memorize it.

and as we look out the window, to our barney aging – one moment, the next moment – we can see he is still grinning from the eve bonfire gathering, as only an aging piano in the backyard can grin. we are happy to see the ring of adirondack chairs and the vestiges of luminaria. and we admire the fleeting beauty of just a bit of snow left on top the coneflower.

the fog is waiting for us.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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stripes. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

the reeds on our trails in the winter – tall and willowy, reaching for the sky in a color that looks like leftover sun you saved in a jar. the cattails are massive, even the ones that have lost tails…all dwarfing us. tall stripes in the marsh cutting perpendicular into the horizon, they are exceptionally beautiful.

i’m not a stripe-wearer. with the exception of one hooded baja pullover, i’m pretty sure i own zero clothing items with stripes. this has not always been true.

i distinctly remember a pair of multi-colored striped bell bottoms i really loved – way back in junior high. i remember my candystriper uniform – candycane stripes for volunteering in the hospital. oh… and those ever-present red and white striped terrycloth footed dr. denton pajamas. i remember the stripes on my v-neck sweater – the one that everyone had back in the day – navy and maroon v-stripes on a white cable pullover. i distinctly remember one other sweater – a turtleneck – a favorite – that had stripes. i wore it tucked into my jeans way back in high school. i remember stripes i wore when i was a volunteer “arrestee” for the american cancer society’s jail ‘n bail. but i can’t remember many other stri-ped (two syllables as they say) things that have made it into either my closet or my dresser.

and – in more information than you ever needed or wanted, some further thoughts on stripes:

as i sit here and look around i am struck by the horizontal stripes that surround me. the obvious wood floors – though these are vertical as well (mostly) depending on where in the room you are standing. the miniblinds on all our windows. the louvered closet doors, the dresser drawers, the many tiny drawers in the wooden armoire, the stacked (not standing) books in the glass-front chimney cabinet. many patterns – all horizontal.

if, however, i were to wear stripes, they would have to be vertical. horizontal and baby-borne hips don’t go well together. (at least in my opinion as it relates to me). i don’t know if this helps to explain my love of beadboard or my love of big old doors. both vertical. there must be a theory of explanation in there somewhere.

i think i also have a thing about wearing stripes – i feel like if i am going to wear them, they need to stay parallel to the ground – 180 degrees straight – even stripes, not all wonky and helter-skelter…like part of the stripe tucked in and part untucked and on some skewed sort of angle, which bugs me to an unusual degree of being bugged. horizontal stripes have a lot of room for error. and stripes…seriously…well, they should be neat – tidy stripes. it just feels to me that stripes are like that. they demand precision. i try to veer away from such strict parameters.

maybe that is why i wear solid colors mostly. there is less worry about conforming to specific stripe/plaid/print rules, real or imagined.

it is good that i am not a santa’s elf. i am way beyond wishing to wear red and white horizontal-striped tights.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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a chandelier life. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

it is likely that we are captured by the minuscule much more than most. it truly doesn’t take much for us to be in wonder – or, at the very least, to spend a moment or two noticing something that maybe others might not notice.

our entertainment budget is pretty much non-existent. we love to cook together, hike together, write together, read together, on occasion argue together. occasionally, we will have the good fortune of going out for a meal or to a movie or maybe a concert. but most of the time we entertain ourselves in ways that don’t cost a lot and that’s all good.

a few years ago we decided that barney – the smith-barnes piano aging in our backyard – needed a chandelier over its brow. you might remember we found one online that works as a solar light and so we ordered it. it wasn’t expensive – i mean, for a chandelier! – and we were surprised when we got it in a small amazon bag. taking it out revealed a collapsed plastic “chandelier” that had to be shaped and would then hang in all its glory. it was not quite all-that nor what we had expected. we knew immediately it would not serve barney well and, in the process of deciding whether or not to return it, hung it on our awning outside for a bit.

that night the little chandelier glowed – like any good solar-powered ithinkican chandelier – and we fell into like. and we decided to keep it.

we recently hung it in our sunroom right in front of the east window where the sun streams in each morning. littlechandelier apparently loves this spot because each night – if it has been a sunny day – when all the lights are out in the sunroom, it has a tiny glow.

its shadow is intriguing. both of us have stood staring at the shadow, completely enjoying littlechandelier’s effort to do its little chandelier job.

even in the middle of challenge – whatever that challenge may be – i must say that i truly appreciate appreciating the littlest things. i appreciate that WE appreciate the littlest things.

we are not living a posh polished-glass-ornate-crystal-chandelier kind of life. but we are living a chandelier life nonetheless. it’s all around us.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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sunny starry snowflake seeds. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

“…you can trust the promise of this opening. … for your soul senses the world that awaits you.” (john o’donohue – for a new beginning – from benedictus, a book of blessings)

i was keeping it, even though it was broken. my sweet momma used to use it as a fruit bowl – on our kitchen table or counter when i was growing up. i feel like i remember bananas in this starry snowflake basket bowl – which hasn’t had its curved glass handle for many, many years now.

as we moved about our home, choosing to be more minimalist in approach, i came upon this glass basket bowl. the broken edges were rough and, though it was sitting out, it was not something i would wish someone to touch for fear of the possibility of getting hurt. i considered this bowl for some time, placing it on the dining room table, gently dusting it out, cleaning its starry edges. and then i realized that it was time for this basket bowl to be disposed of. i took plenty of photographs before gently letting it go, for my threadiness needs – sometimes – to be handled with care.

and then we moved on to the next. and each thing that we moved about or stored or repurposed or disposed of made room – room for our old house to breathe in a bit more light, for us to discover something new that might transform the space.

we can both feel it. the sun’s rays are now reaching further into the living room – way under the old two-person glider that came in from the deck. we’ve sat there many times now already – visiting with our boys on thanksgiving, sipping coffee and watching out the front window, sipping wine and watching the crystals on the big tree branch dance in happy lights. there is change. there is opening.

i have a list – the spots in our home that need our attention, stuff-wise. it is not a short list. we have plenty to do.

but the rewards are great and give us incentive to keep going. we are in no rush. we’ll just take on a little at a time.

and one of these days it will be my studio. i’ll finish what i started there quite a while ago. stopping wasn’t because i didn’t want to complete the going-through-cleaning-out-reorganizing. at the time, stopping was because it was just too much right then. but now…now, some time has passed and maybe i am soon ready to file, to store, to pass on, and – in likely cathartic moments – to throw out that which is no longer relevant, that which served me well until it didn’t, that which is broken in little or big ways.

and, in the process of all this, hopefully i will see the promise of the opening – the sunny starry snowflake seeds – just as we have seen it in the other beloved parts of our home.

all the world awaits each of us each day. we just need to clear the stuff – real or imagined – out of the way to see it.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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sweet potatoes. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

sweet potato casserole is, admittedly, one of my favorite dishes in a thanksgiving feast. that and stuffing. and maybe that string bean casserole – the one with the french-fried onions on top. oh. and mashed potatoes. even though turkey and gravy and any variety of cranberry relish are traditional, i’m not crazy about any of that. i’m perfectly content with sweet potatoes and stuffing and mashed potatoes and maybe those green beans.

this year we will not be making anything traditional. instead, we’ll make an irish guinness stew with plentiful root vegetables. something that seems grounded, reassuring. but probably without the carrots since carrots are on the don’t-buy-don’t-eat list right now. so…substitute in maybe butternut squash and some sweet potatoes – to add the sweetness that carrots would have provided. it seems right to wait and stir and wait as a good stew simmers.

liminal space is defined as a transitional period or place, often evoking a sense of unease, a waiting area.

if you are like me, i would guess that – at this holiday – you may also be feeling in a sort of liminal space, a waiting place. these are troubled times.

but just as dr. seuss described the waiting place, he also described the places you go:

“you’re off to great places! you’re off and away! you have brains in your head. you have feet in your shoes. you can steer yourself any direction you choose.”

it is my hope always that we access great places, that we steer ourselves any direction we choose. it is my hope that – past my life here on this planet – those left behind me will also have the same american freedoms i have taken for granted throughout my life on earth. it is my hope that democracy will have survived the next years – years that will test its resiliency and fortitude. i guess we’ll see.

i have shed many tears during these last months and weeks. i have mourned for solidarity of family, of friends, of community, of state, of country. i am weary of crying, bone-tired of the grief.

my sweet momma wrote to me long ago – at a different time when my rooted energy felt depleted, “live life, my sweet potato.”

and that is what we will do. live life. looking for the great places, the places to which we might be off and away, the directions we might go…in our home, in our artistry, in our world. it is still time to create, to generate goodness, to adhere to our values, to begin.

sweet potatoes: root vegetables symbolizing abundance, healing, sustenance, survival.

i give thanks for our old house, full of memories – a long river of time. i give thanks for the abundance i have experienced, for my sweet momma’s legacy of the imperative of kindness. i give thanks for david, our grown-up children and their beloved partners, the people we love, the people who have generously held us close, who have helped sustain us. i give thanks for opportunity, possibility, the gift of time, sweet potatoes.

i hope we – as a nation – find a way of virtue through this liminal time to the other side – the place where our constitution breathes a sigh of relief, where we gratefully grab onto the coattails of every person who has fought for our freedom – holding on for dear life – where we stay vigilant and dedicated to democracy, where we heal and re-commit to unity in these united states of america.

and today, as i write this – the day before thanksgiving – all that is left for preparation is to breathe thanks and pick up a butternut squash and some sweet potatoes.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this THANKSGIVING

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golden. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

on the southern part of the trail, most of the leaves have fallen. we shuffle through them, making that crunchy sound of autumn hikes. we can see further now – further down the trail, deeper into the woods. we can see the river, so often hidden by foliage. our views are unobstructed by earlier thick growth of underbrush and leafy trees.

the golden leaves cling to the willow. the sun catches them and they glow. i am grateful for their color and for this day of technicolor as november begins to push the need for more vitamin d. storm clouds rushed past, hinting at the possibility of pummeling us. yet the sun returned and we hiked on, glad to be out there, grateful to reclaim some air on the trail.

the days are darker now. and it makes me think of the many seasons of alone (the history channel) we have viewed, as moderate weather early in season episodes seemed to morph quickly into unthinkable cold, punishing loneliness, long darkness. we binged on alone during our month plus of covid. and as we hike now, we talk about the ability of the contestants to survive, to sustain. clueless about true survivalist skills, we both know we would likely fail miserably out in the wild – alone.

kielyn – season 7 – was out there for an unbelievable 80 days. a personality full of color, in one episode, she said, “women. we are a force to be reckoned with.”

yes. we are.

and even in the fallout of the fallout of this election, the fallout of the fallout of insane politics and a divided country, the fallout of the fallout of an agenda to kick women (among others) to the ground, we are still a force. she is right.

the lush leaves of spring, summer and early fall blocked what you could see in the woods, past the woods. they blocked long vision.

until they didn’t.

it was in the falling of the leaves on-trail that one could again see. it is in that clearing out, the storm threatening, winter on its way, that one can see further – beyond just existing, beyond just surviving, beyond just sustaining – further – to a place where thriving is an imperative. it is heading into fallow that any bit of color stands out, interrupts the grey.

because we women are out here. and no clearing-out, no storm, no winter will stop us.

long vision is one of the plates we women spin.

we aren’t afraid of a time of fallow.

and we sure aren’t afraid of the dark.

we are a force. you will have to reckon with us.

if the willow has lost all its leaves, we will bring the color.

and it will be our golden moment.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

like. subscribe. share. support. comment. – thank you. xoxo

buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo


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the emboldened. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

if i were to write a children’s book about clouds, this cloud would have an arrogant name – something aggressive, threatening. this is the cloud that covers the sun, dark, assailing. this cloud would be the cloud that rides the bumper of the others, that drives on the shoulder, that flips you off as it passes. it would be the screaming banshee of clouds with its hulk of stone cold water droplets. it is the cloud that makes a mockery of the other clouds, dominating their practiced and important jobs of precipitation, reflection, insulation. it is ominous and likely indicative of a storm coming. this cloud is emboldened.

we are in the earliest days of fallout from the election. the emboldened are obvious. they are the arrogant ones, the aggressive, threatening ones. they are dark; they are assailing. they are the ones riding your bumper, driving on the shoulder, flipping you off. they are screaming banshees of propaganda, hulking masses of disturbingly evil what-we-are-going-to-do-to-this-country-what-we-are-going-to-do-to-people. they are mocking and they are stone cold, gleefully ominous, dominating, militant. there is a storm coming.

the animals in the forest watch this cloud intently, intuitively knowing that their forest could be destroyed in its wake.

we watch the emboldened insanity intently, intuitively knowing that that our country could be destroyed in its wake.

the wildlife shudders.

and so do we.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

like. share. subscribe. support. comment. – thank you. xoxo

buymeacoffee is a website where you may directly impact an artist whose work directly impacts you. xoxo