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smushy. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

in a bag inside a box on a shelf inside the closet i found this. a hug coupon.

there are coupons on the back for an automotive a/c inspection and a fuel injection cleaning. they expire in 2009. so that would mean i’ve had this hug coupon since 2009. fifteen years.

my sweet momma sent it to me. she was the world’s best letter-writer. always sending mail – since we lived long-distance – i’d open an envelope to reveal a handwritten note or a letter she typed on her word processor and printed. maybe there’d be newspaper or magazine articles she thought i’d like to read. maybe an astrological horoscope she wanted me to see. and coupons. always coupons. she and my poppo would sit and clip coupons and then divvy them out – anticipating the needs of various members of the family and mailing them off – in business size envelopes or big brown envelopes or even envelopes they repurposed from other mailings. mail from my momma. i could count on it.

today is hug day. (so, i also read, was january 21st.) no matter. each day should be hug day. cause there really is nothing that can get you more back on track than a good hug. hugs to and from your children, your partner, your parents, your dear friends, your new friends, your posse, long-lost pals, your beloved pets. we – d and i – are pretty smushy. hugging is par for the course. i know, even in the worst of moments, our hug will change the air around us. i can count on it.

i’m continuing to go through the bags and the boxes, the shelves and the bins and the things tucked away. some items will be harder to figure out – what to do with them. 

i found this hug coupon and instantly thought of my momma sending it to me. i photographed it, knowing that is at least the first step in letting it go. and then i showed david. and then i got lost in all the memories of mail arriving at my doorstep. 

so what do i now do with this sweet gesture that expires the day after eternity?

well, it’s still redeemable. maybe i should just save it and put it on the fridge.

*****

❤️feel free to copy this image and print it out to give to all the people you want to hug. ❤️

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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pink. [k.s. friday]

there is a single tiny pink tulip stenciled in one corner of my daughter’s room. when i repainted her room as a surprise for her during her college years, i could not bear to paint over all the tiny tulips i had stenciled along the ceiling for my little girl’s room what seemed like five minutes before, so i left one. there is something about pink.

just looking at this peony – in full blossom – you can catch a whiff of the sweet scent of this flower. my niece sent me a picture the other day of her peonies with a note, “i wish they lasted longer than five minutes.”

our peonies sat tightly in bud for a few weeks until – suddenly – they exploded into glorious bloom. five minutes later – or maybe a split second or so – petals were scattering onto the patio but we could still catch whiffs on the breeze. but those five minutes…wow.

the botanic garden had all varieties of peonies, in all stages of bloom. you could stand in one place and twirl to see peonies in lush green growth, peonies in bud, peonies in bloom, peonies with blossoms wide, petals falling. there was something about these pink peonies.

my dear sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. a devastating blow, she has ridden the coaster of emotions and arrived at warrior. her surgery was a couple of weeks ago and she is waiting now – the interminable wait – for the pathology results. when she found the lump and the dimpling on her breast, she felt pretty sure it was cancer. but it was in the moments of biopsy results that her life changed. the five minutes during which she became a pink ribbon holder.

soon she will know more. she’ll know about the margins and the treatment going forward. she’ll know about how her recuperating pain will change over time. she’ll know about limitations and about percentages. she’ll know about genetics and maybe why she was diagnosed with the same – rarer – cancer our sweet momma had.

right now, she knows about these moments. the moments of abrupt change. the moments of gearing up for a fight. the moments of absolute vulnerability. the moments – from the very first one – of being a survivor. the moments of leaning on others to garner strength and hope. the moments of desperately trying to stay grounded. the moments of grabbing onto now and holding onto the gossamer ties.

there are no right ways. this is cancer and the journey is brutal, unfair, f-ed up. she is one patient in a world of patients. i desperately wish that was different.

my sister. she ordered chocolate ganache cake for lunch. she’s thinking about a pink ribbon tattoo. she is being a beautiful peony.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this K.S. FRIDAY

IN A SPLIT SECOND from AS SURE AS THE SUN (©️2002 kerri sherwood)

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don’t wait! [chicken marsala monday]

don'twait WITH EYES jpeg copy 2.jpg

my sweet momma had this thing.  and she passed it down to me.  genetics are brutal!  when she would get something new, she would saaaaaave it.  for later.  for good.  for something special.  no matter what.  we would give her gifts (like a beautiful scarf or blouse) and she would wait to wear it.   she would purchase a new pair of shoes and they would stay in the box, only for “good” wear.  and…i have the gene.  d jokes that every time i ever get anything new, he knows he must wait about six months (an exaggeration…well, maybe an exaggeration only sometimes) to see me wearing it.  now, i don’t purchase things too often, so i understand my momma’s “thing”…you want to keep the item in tip-top shape, you want to treat it like it is ‘special’.  but it’s a curse.  my sister did not inherit this trait.  she will buy something and wear it later the same day.  i envy her nonchalance, that cavalier attitude of well-i-bought-it-and-i’m-gonna-wear-it-ness.  oh, how i wish i could do that.

recently, though, i got this new tunic…up north at a little boutique in a little town.  it was on sale – 50% off – and i pondered it for quite some time (ask ANY of my girlfriends about my fine purchasing-decision-making-skills.)  d convinced me to get it…i mean it was $24.  a total bargain.  i….wait for it…wore it the next day!  the very next day!!  and many times since.  it has already made it to the pack-it-for-an-evening-in-the-mountains-with-a-pair-of-skinny-jeans-and-boots list.  i am wondering if, somehow, i have overcome my waiting-thing.

eh.  i doubt it.  i still haven’t worn the pair of heels in the box in the closet that i got on sale about six years ago.  they are waiting for later.  for something good.  for something special.

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