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an endless list. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

he says that one day we must go on a trip that is specifically about photography. that we will slowwwwly stroll – wherever it is we are – and i can stop and linger – at any time – and take a picture – or twenty – of any single thing along the way. i am excited about that and we have a really, really long list of the places we might choose as destinations. an endless list, actually.

the funny thing is – this is pretty much how i do every day. on the trail, in our backyard, at the garden center, at our potting stand, in the antique shoppe, at the grocery store, in our ‘hood, in the mountains, on the beach – anywhere.

i have always loved taking photographs. even a dear old friend, who i hadn’t spoken with in about four decades, remembered that i always had a camera in my hand whenever she and i were together. it goes way back…for me, to those pocket instamatic cameras and the cameras with the square bulbs on the top that rotated for the next shot. in college i did photo shoots with my new 35mm manual camera for extra money. i climbed fences to take sunrise shots on beaches. i hiked in rivers to capture the fauna along the edges. i adored being the photography editor of my college paper, toting my camera to disco parties, softball games, campus events, college-sponsored ski trips, lunch with paul simon. if there were no pictures of something or someone from back then, there were good reasons.

there have also been times – along the way – when i have realized that taking photographs would take away from the moment – and, in those times, i have chosen to put the camera away – to simply memorize the moment instead. but this thready heart of mine loves to scroll back through images that place life and time.

it feels somewhat like cheating when you take photographs at a nursery such as i did for today’s image. i wandered about the aisles and aisles, greenhouses and gardens of nearby milaegers, entranced by the vast opportunity to capture color, texture, utter beauty. there is no end to it. even the flowers that are wilting are absolutely divine. i walk, arm in arm with david, and i feel fortunate to see so much that touches so many senses. it is impossible to not feel it. we are surrounded by the glorious.

and so we plan – one day – to take a trip sheerly about photography. i will be excited to plan it, to choose idyllic places and vistas that offer moments like the shimmer of sun on iridescent raindrops.

in the meanwhile, i will carry my iphone and its remarkable camera everywhere i go, capturing everything else that is beautiful, that is evocative, that means something, that will be a source of joy or heart or memory, that is life.

it is an endless list.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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sweet potato sprouts. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

we are sweet potato fans. and it was in recent research we realized we had been storing our sweet potatoes incorrectly – in the fridge. no wonder they were going bad sooner than we expected. so we moved them (and the russets and the gold yukons and the vidalia onions and the garlic) to a hanging basket in the stairwell which seemed to exponentially lengthen the life of this store-bought produce.

and then there was this day.

david – laughing – said, “ya gotta go look at the sweet potato in the stairwell!”

to say that i was surprised was understating. hot pink shoots were growing out of our sweet potato…sweet raspberry-colored, tiny-leafed shoots of a plant…right there in the basket hanging over the stairs, over the bin with dogga treats, next to the angle-broom and the swiffer, adjacent to the bag-o-bags hook.

and a science experiment was born as, suddenly, we were farming sweet potato.

we put some good potting soil in a planter and – just guessing, with no research – we planted the entire sprouted sweet potato tuber in the dirt. we watered it and stood back.

now, we had no idea what to expect. we truly did feel like we were in junior high – with a science fair project report due in a few weeks.

instantly, i was back in ninth grade, typing my lab reports on thin erasable typing paper. i loved typing and used any excuse to type. my earth science teacher – everyone’s favorite – charlie – graded our lab reports on a check system. check, check-plus, check-plus-plus, check-minus. i pretty much always got a check-plus-plus because, well, that was the kind of diligent student i was. he never wrote any comments on my lab reports, which was disappointing, so i began to wonder if he was really reading them. i decided to experiment a bit. i started to include the words of nursery rhymes – randomly – in my lab reports. i kept getting check-plus or check-plus-plus and he never said a word, convincing me that any genius lab report i might have written had gone undetected. years later we crossed paths on some social media and i reached out, asking him if, perchance, he remembered me. his response was classic: “of course! you typed nursery rhymes in the middle of your lab reports. how could i forget you?” but i digress.

in just days our little sweet potato’s tiny leaves leafed out and it has begun a growth cycle that will force us to reckon with what to do next. we are considering a metal trough planter, but also recognize that there isn’t long enough for the sweet potatoes to develop into sweet potatoes. it is a conundrum. but a truly sweet (no pun intended) reminder of the amazing turns of life and growth and actualization.

in a time during which so much is grabbing at our attention, a country and people disappointing us beyond belief, more corruption than we can wrap our heads around, we are grateful for this hot pink attention-grabbing sweet potato slip.

“live life, my sweet potato,” my momma always told me. i think i feel some sprouts comin’ on.

*****

GRATEFUL © 2004 kerri sherwood

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teasels and old cars. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

the teasels in the meadow kept getting my attention: “look at me!! i’m a layer-cake!!” they called out.

these seussical thistles are everywhere right now, lining the roads we take to our trails, lining the trails, populating the meadows, running alongside the river…simply everywhere. and they have personality!

this summer has been extraordinarily hot and humid. the tropical conditions have made everything-that-loves-sun explode. we feel as if we can literally stand and watch the growth of several of our plants outside – a time-lapse would prove amazing and almost other-worldly.

on one of our trails the other day – before we both melted away – i kept pulling out my camera to take one after another photograph of yet another teasel. i also kept thinking that my dear friend susan – gifted with ridiculously artistic culinary skills – could easily create a teasel cake – and it would look exactly like these.

friday night we stood at the end of our street to watch a parade. the town was hosting an amc (american motors company) celebration. not knowing what to expect out of the parade, but confident that the number of people lining the curb indicated some level of ‘cool’, we waited on the corner for it to start.

and ‘cool’ it was. an utterly charming old-timey parade of cars made its way past us: ramblers, pacers, amx, matadors, ambassadors, gremlins, jeeps, javelins, and my personal favorite, the metropolitan.

we cheered for every vehicle that drove past us, the occupants of the cars with windows down waving and laughing and thumbs-upping. it was a joy to see so many people in their bliss as they drove their vintage cars down our neighborhood roads. those metropolitans, though, they really got my attention. to see all those people – ranging a wide spectrum of ages – coming together in community – all for the love of these old cars – was something we were really glad we witnessed.

it made me think about the 1971 vw beetle in our garage. justin and i plan on reinvigorating that bug. we know it needs some restoration work now but between the two of us and youtube (with helpful hints from our brilliant mechanic) we just might be able to do it. thinking it would be a hoot for us to maybe end up at one of those vintage car shows one day or a beetle-meet. we likely won’t get a ribbon for fanciest but we will probably be eligible for “zealous” or “good effort”.

the whole thing brought me back to a time long ago when i used to be in parades with my dad and my big brother. my dad had a 1930 model A ford that he and my brother restored and we, with old-timey straw hats, would drive in parades just like this one. onlookers would line the sidewalks and cheer and we’d wave and call out to people to get their attention as we passed by. not unlike the drivers and passengers in the parade in our ‘hood. and, come to think about it, not unlike the teasels in the meadow.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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the most real. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

in the middle of the middle of the chaos that is this world right now, the thing that seemed the most real was last night’s pizza.

with a new pair of garden snippers, we went out to the potting stand and snipped off some fresh basil for our homemade pizza. the oven was preheating while we sous-chef-ed. we poured a glass of red wine and reveled in the cool breezes coming in from the back door and windows. we dined al fresco on the deck with plates of pizza, arugula spilling out of salad bowls and dogga at our feet. ohhh, what a day.

*****

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the real. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

104. in the moments i am writing this post – a couple days ahead of today – my sweet momma would have turned 104.

i wasn’t sure about using this photograph. it isn’t something we stumbled across when we were out and about; instead it is a photograph i took in my studio. but, it is an effort to continue an effort we are making – which, i might add, is a big effort considering the here and now – to list over to presence and gratitude for the other parts of the here and now…the real…the stuff that i simply cannot imagine that the rabid purveyors of cruelty ever notice. for, if one can see the stunning in the falling dusk or feel the heart-stopping of a simple james taylor song or taste the fresh basil in the stockpot of sauce, one cannot also relish the sheer and abject depravity of current events.

my sweet momma – always – her message to me, “live life, my sweet potato.”

and to that i would add – as i stood in the kitchen – his arms wrapped around me, with our birthday dog at our feet – “never, never, never give up.”

there is a visceral response – breathing – i have to seeing the wild horses in the documentary, the dueting voices in the music video. there is a fascination of the munching-munching caterpillars on our dill plant, the finch drinking from our birdbath, the tomato plant’s explosive growth, the jalapeños becoming peppers from tiny blooms. there is an appreciation of the eye-to-eye contact of our amber-eyed aussie, the feel of flipflops on a hot summer day, the wafting scent of basil on the air.

we didn’t go to any celebrations on the fourth. we did not feel that this very moment in time was aligned with commemorating the democracy and freedoms as written into the declaration of independence for these united states. this moment – instead – feels like the antithesis of all of that – the un-uniting of this country, the dismantling of freedoms, the fall of democracy. so we stayed home, away from the carnivals and the parties and the bands and the fireworks (though our neighbor set off fireworks right above our backyard for hours late into the night).

and this morning, while d was picking up the vestiges of those fireworks which, thankfully, did no harm to our home, i watched the caterpillars on the dill. while he brushed away the chalk marks of firecrackers landing on our patio, i watered the herbs. while he made doubly sure there was nothing pyrotechnic-like left that dogga could ingest or could cause him harm, i watched and listened as the birds returned on a refreshingly quiet morning.

we have a list. i mentioned it the other day. it’s simply a list – not far away – of places for us to go, to visit, things to immerse in. to do the best we can, right now.

to the top of the list i am going to add “never, never, never give up.”

because momma was right. live life. it is not unlimited.

sweet potato out.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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be informed. [kerri’s blog on flawed wednesday]

it is incumbent upon us as we hike to be as familiar as we can with vegetation that may be harmful. it would not serve us well to go plowing though poison ivy or linger in poison hemlock. we need to be able to discern the difference between cow parsnip and giant hogweed. we need to be informed.

were we on the pacific crest trail we would need to be able to instantly recognize poodle dog bush and to stay away from stinging nettle and poison oak. we would need to be discerning. we would need to be informed.

in this day and age, being informed has become easy. most of us carry in our back pocket or our purse the potential to research anything. absolutely anything. to avoid danger. to make choices. to exercise good judgment. to stay up to date. in a fast-moving world, we need to be informed.

and yet, in this incredibly dangerous time in our country, there are those who are complacent – who have turned a blind eye to what is happening. granted – it is hard to find the truth of it all, for this administration wishes to obscure all that it is really doing and couch what they do portray to the public eye as making america grrrrreat. but, it feels like our duty to at least try and discern what might be harmful to us and to those who follow us in future generations.

which brings me to the bbb – the big ___ bill – which i out and out refuse to call “beautiful”.

if one is not really paying attention – really, really paying attention – one might miss some of the really “great” rhetoric in that bill. because in the middle of all the schlemiel schlimazel blahdeeblah skewed propaganda about money and money and more money (benefiting the wealthy money-ladened oligarchs and gluttonous corporations among us – the greedy end goal of this administration) there are some nasty little hidden secrets.

if one is just riding the edges of the media – or if one is utterly and fully ensconced on the big red wagon – one is hearing about the money-money parts of this b-b-bill, the isolationist parts of this b-b-bill, the mass deportation intentions of this b-b-bill, but nothing about, say, the very real possibility of not being able to hold this government in contempt or even accountable. or perhaps one should foray into what the b-b-bill says about immigration or co-opting military force against the citizens of this country or maybe the decimation of social programs and safety nets or the desecration of national lands, resources, education or healthcare or-or-or… a little discernment goes a long way. we need to be informed.

the not-so-beautiful-but-actually-quite-gruesome-bill, the one that will affect every single one of us, sans the billionaires among us, is lurking in dark corners, hiding its every project 2025 intention, threatening this democracy in every way.

and we absolutely need to be informed.

you simply cannot wander – uninformed – into poisonous underbrush and not be poisoned by it.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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most definitely not ho-hum. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“literally incredulous at the “ho-hum” behavior of those all around me.” (m.d.)

i passed by these words on instagram while scrolling the comments of a profoundly relatable post. i scrolled back to them. and sighed.

another comment read, “if one more person tells me i’m overreacting, i will lose my sh*t.” (k…) yup. sigh.

and another: “more people should be really angry about everything that’s going on. if not, they aren’t paying attention.” (b…)

john pavlovitz wrote: “you know who I’m talking about: those friends, family members coworkers, classmates and social media acquaintances who tone-police us for surveying the monumental destruction being inflicted upon our fragile republic and its people and being livid…”

he continued: “there is a time and place for self-control, for tolerance, for listening and bearing with people, for breathing and being still.

but there is a time and place when the gravity of the moment calls for something fierce and unwieldy; a wildness of heart. i suggest that now is such a time, and here is precisely the place.

america is on the brink of authoritarianism…”

we talk about it a lot. we read the news, fact-check religiously, study a variety of opinions and historical footnotes, watch video footage, debate between ourselves – the two of us.

because there are so many – so, sooo many – people who just simply don’t want to talk about it, who prefer to talk about positive things, who exclude politics from their menu of conversation options (though i’d beg to differ on this – this is not politics anymore; this is real-life america now! – it is what is happening on a daily basis.)

you know the instant you even try to bring it up – there is a moment when a look crosses their face, there is an extra beat or two before an answer, there is an instant pushbacky “don’t you think about anything else?” or various conversation deadenders “i can’t go there” or “i am not gonna talk about it!”

and i wonder what – exactly – one does when one’s country is being decimated and a buncha people aren’t really willing to discuss it because – well – it’s uncomfortable.

it is heartbreaking to wish to have hard real-life conversations but never be able to get to the nitty-gritty of it all. not talking about it will not make it go away.

there is nothing – nothing – ho-hum about what is happening in this nation. it is staggering.

because we are both empaths, we unfortunately can pretty much feel the vibration frequency of fear as it swirls around this country. i keep wondering how low “they” can go. i keep wondering when some of the people – the ones hip-hip-hooraying all this, the ones whose dark souls align with this abject cruelty, and, yes, the ones who just don’t wanna discuss it – might catch on to the plot. i keep wondering how we might be able to stop this twisted administration from destroying all we know.

i am anything but ho-hum. we are most definitely not ho-hum.

“…we need a lot more fire and a lot less calm. right now, it’s a sign of your humanity, of your sanity, and of your soul, to look around at it all and say, ‘i’ve f**king had it.'” (john pavlovitz)

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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the storms. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

there are 6186 photos on my phone that – in some shape or form – are photos of the sky. there are 2400 that are of clouds. i’m pretty sure there’s some overlap there. but that is a lot of photos looking up.

with yet another storm watch in the state – on an unusually warm late april night – we sat out on the deck with 20 watching the sky. i took pictures. it felt like a summer night – minus the mosquitos – and we adirondack-chair-sat for quite a while, intermittent conversation and laughter punctuating the quiet.

as i’ve previously written about, we pay attention to storm watches and warnings. we use our weather app to track the arriving front systems, to watch the hourly forecast. we depend on it to make good decisions for our safety.

i remember a roadtrip – crossing through the state of wyoming – trying to outrun a giant dark greenish sky that seemed to be chasing after us. littlebabyscion has never zipped along as fast as it did that day. i remember d carrying dogga downstairs to the basement, with supplies and important papers, all while the tornado siren was sounding outside. i remember – way back in the day – laying in a ditch in the middle of rural illinois somewhere while vacationing at my big brother’s, his vehicle parked on the grassy shoulder of the county road on which we had been driving. i remember – not too long ago – just last june – sitting in littlebabyscion literally tucked up against a brick restaurant after-hours as we tried to evade the tornadic wind that had lifted us up off the open parking lot.

each time we made efforts – to use caution, to think-it-through, to be reasonably safe – and we took action. each time survival was the end goal. the storms of climate change are becoming apocalyptic – severe, with devastating consequences. we do our best to be knowledgeable, alerted, constructive.

the gale force winds of corruption are whirling around us. we must use caution, must think-it-through, must be reasonably safe, must take action. survival is the end goal. the collapsing of democracy is apocalyptic — severe, with devastating consequences.

we must all do our best.

*****

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and then, ashes. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

we test our smoke alarms the first day of each month. it is likely overly cautious, but i want our smoke alarms to be self-actualized in their vigilant monitoring of smoke – and thus, flame – so we check them to make sure that the battery is still functioning, that the alarm is still as brutally loud as it should be. we have smoke alarms to warn us of impending disaster. we pay attention to them.

we have a carbon monoxide alarm as well. when i go downstairs into the workroom i glance at it every single time, making sure that it still lights up at 0% and that there is no indication that the battery back-up needs to be replaced. we have this carbon monoxide detector to warn us of impending disaster. we pay attention to it.

we both have weather notifications on our phones. in the way that weather alerts work, we are notified if there is dangerous weather on the way – if there are high winds or torrential rain or destructive flooding or a tornado or a big snowstorm or ice or thick fog or intense heat. these notifications alert us to danger and inform our decisions about outdoor activity and various other things. we pay attention to them.

each time we get out of our vehicles, we click the lock, engaging the security alarm. each night people go to the panel that initiates their security system for their home, ensuring that they will be alerted should any danger present. people thru-hiking carry bear spray and whistles. people in extraordinarily threatening zones carry pepper spray. though we personally do not have hurricane shutters or wind-proof glass or generators, we do know those who do – and we assume these are just in case there is lurking peril.

it is likely that most of the redwagoners also – like us – have the basics – smoke alarms, carbon monoxide detectors and weather notifications as well as an assortment of other reassuring security devices. it is likely that they wish to be warned of any potential disasters. it is likely they do not slough off these safeties, give no heed, laugh with glee. it is likely they pay attention to each of these.

that these same people – the red-red ones with all these just-in-case safety aids – are failing to pay attention to the complete devastation of our democracy, the absolute stripping of the constitution, the one-step-away from authoritarianism is beyond my comprehension.

the flame is raging, the oxygen of the united states is being usurped, the destructive storm is at its peak.

every safety alarm, every security alert is blaring. yet they are not paying attention.

what will they do when there’s only ashes left?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

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this very day. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“…its first three words – ‘we the people’ – affirm that the government of the united states exists to serve its citizens.” (re: the constitution of the united states – senate.gov)

“of the people, by the people, for the people…” (president abraham lincoln)

we the people. the citizens of the united states.

“we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” (declaration of independence – archives.gov)

we the people. all citizens of the united states. equally.

the constitution of the united states has merely 4543 words (including signatures) which will take about one-half hour of reading. with the 28 amendments (now including the ERA) there are 7615 words, adding less than another half-hour.

the declaration of independence is 1458 words (including signatures) and takes about ten minutes to read.

today – this very day – might be an apt day to read these.

today – this very day – might be the day to consider – carefully – the words of these most sacred documents of this country.

today – this very day – might be the day to ponder what you consider integrity, truth, values, morality, decency.

today – this very day – might be the day to study the alignment of what you say you hold dear and what you do with your vote as a citizen of these united states.

today – this very day – might be a time to reflect.

because it’s way too late to not pay attention.

shamefully, today – this very day – is evidence of that. where now is this country today – this very day?

“we have also come to this hallowed spot to remind america of the fierce urgency of now. … now is the time to make real the promises of democracy.” (martin luther king, jr.)

“the time is always right to do what is right.” (martin luther king, jr.)

we the people are watching.

because today – this very day – there is most definitely a fierce urgency to do what is right.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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