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a little more mum. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

after all the rain – followed by some big dashes of cold – i thought that the potting stand would be done-in. i figured that any tiny cherry tomatoes would have fallen off the vine, that the basil would be drowning, that the mint would have given up, that the jalapeños would stop being-a-pepper. i was concerned about the rest too…the sweet potato vine, the fern, the licorice plant, the tiny purple flowers in planters. i wasn’t sure i was ready for what that would mean – the end of summer – even though we are now past the official date for the start of fall.

i haven’t really been a mum person. truth be told, i’m not sure what a mum-person is, but i just know I haven’t gravitated toward mums. despite their unrelenting determination to bloom and to flourish in the roller coaster of autumn, i think it might be how structured a mum tends to look….a tight little ball of green with lots and lots of buds just waiting to burst into color. now, i don’t know if there could be anything at all wrong with such a plant – we all need that kind of steadfastness, that kind of dogged dedication to blooming. there was just always something stopping me from mumming.

until this year.

our friends have a black cherry mum on their front steps – its blooms the color of deeply ripe bings in the summer, the color of the name of one of my favorite “sodas” growing up, the only color of choir robe i ever thought was aesthetically appropriate for everyone in a choir (should robes be necessary at all). their mum…stunning.

i commented on this mum and they promptly told me they had gotten it at the local grocery store, which has a plethora of them out front – all different colors.

the next day they texted that the price had been reduced – to $12. now, this is a really big plant. and full of potential blossoming mum-flowers. and so…

we went to the grocery store that morning and chose our new mum-plant to come home with us, gently placing it in the back seat of big red.

it has exploded with gorgeous blooms and has been absolutely steady and unperturbed all through the torrential rains we had after its homecoming. like it is…carefree.

now, “carefree” is not a word i would have used to describe a mum – unlike the wildly growing ornamental grasses in our yard, it seems to have more framework, more parameters for its growth, a tad bit more structure. hmmm.

we have recently discovered that – in lieu of doing chores as needed – there are some things that work better within a charlie’s-plan kind of plan. certain days or dates for certain things – a tad bit more structure – it takes away the spontaneity yet – surprisingly – frees up space.

in essence, we have found that it can be effective to be a little more mum.

and so, our little black cherry plant sits on our deck and giggles, “and they thought they weren’t mum-people.”

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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little by little. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

it seems impossible. how did we get to the end of september? where has all the time gone?

in the middle of the chaos that is now this country’s daily life, we have lost time. it would seem we have lost more than that.

the leaf is on the sidewalk. it looks like someone has crayoned around the edges.

little by little chlorophyll is lost from the leaf, brown steadily moves inward, closer and closer to the stem.

little by little the chaos seeps into the country’s veins, the inhumanity is normalized, the rights disappear, the constitution is ignored.

little by little necrosis seeps toward the innermost part of the leaf.

little by little authoritarianism seeps into the heart, the law of the people.

little by little the leaf curls to its cells dying.

little by little people are silent – or – are silenced. little by little air is removed from the populace.

how is this even real life?

the leaf is browning – from stress, lack of water, damage. it is dying – from the outside in. it feels too metaphoric to even write about.

the goodness is fading – from gluttony, grift, damaging corruption, out-and-out cruelty. the country is flailing.

how much green is left? where has all the time gone?

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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rain is rain. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

a very long time ago – decades – my friend joe-z took me on the curvy, hilly route 25A on long island – east of northport – to teach me how to drive his datsun 240Z.

at the time my own car was my 1971 volkswagen superbeetle bug, so i was driving something that was quite a bit more tame than the 240Z – ok, a lot more tame than the 240Z.

his red z-car was powerful, low to the ground, with a very responsive suspension and tight steering. it was a lot to handle if you wanted to take it to its limits. i remember it as being stick shift – four on the floor – like my bug.

i was timid as we started, the curves of the road intimidating, the hills and slanted roadway a bit nerve-wracking with this much power in my hands.

but joe-z was patient and had time to spend. and, among other things, he taught me that driving into the curves – accelerating – would give me the ability to control the curves and not have the curves control me.

i can still remember driving that Z, still remember the power under me, still remember the lessons from those times driving that car in various conditions.

so i nodded during the movie the art of racing in the rain when the race car driver character denny said, “no one knows what curves life will throw at you, but if the driver has the courage to create his own conditions, then the rain is simply rain.”

25A’s curves are simply curves. its hills are simply hills. and the road right in front of you is what exists.

in this time of my life, i am finding that courage is the thing that counts. the unpredictability of life can be mind-boggling and sometimes shattering – in so many ways – and accelerating around the curves may well be the only difference between succumbing or having some sort of control.

on these particularly rainy days, we can see that rain is most definitely rain. it can overwhelm the land, communities, spirits.

standing up to the fear of any of that while adapting best as one can may not diminish the rain’s potential impact – we cannot underplay the rain’s havoc-wreaking. but presence, resilience and placing your eyes where you want to go – like the race car driver in the movie – can help survive the conditions.

we can learn from each other – lessons that generalize over spectrums of life: shift our weight in the saddle, press into the turning waterski, sustain-pedal with some reserve, taste food before salting.

rain can simply be rain.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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remember. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

looking back on the 25th anniversary of september 11 i am struck at how viscerally profound it remains – in my heart, my mind, my body. not that i am surprised. it was an absolute day of terror – and none of us alive during it will ever forget.

scrolling anytime before, on or after the-day-25-years-later of these brutal attacks on our democracy, there are memes after memes on social media. person after person writing the words, “never forget!”

and that – i agree with.

but, many of the persons posting this are of a different political persuasion than me – many of them are carrying zealous pompoms for the current administration and for its undermining of this nation’s constitution.

so what – exactly – is it that those people are asking us not to forget about september 11, 2001?

is it how the country – and all its occupants – came together on that day – reaching out to each other, to help in the crisis, to comfort, to give aid, to stand with – regardless of any – ANY – differences?

is it how this country was helped by – and was grateful for – its allies in the time, the days, the months, the years after these hideous events?

is it how this nation’s people embraced each other, grateful to be alive, deeply grieving those whose lives were taken by this evil?

is it how there were adults in charge, who spoke eloquently and thoughtfully about the course of events, who made intelligent, well-advised decisions not based on impulsivity or gluttonous greed or narcissistic aggrandizing?

is it how the administration encouraged unity on the very day of these attacks: “this is a day when all americans from every walk of life unite in our resolve for justice and peace.“? (president bush)

is it how that president called for solidarity- instead of divisiveness – asking the country to put aside differences, support first responders, and stand together with resolve and shared purpose?

are these the things that the supporters of the current administration are talking about when they implore us to “never forget”?

because as i see it – their support of the heinousness of this administration means that they have already forgotten.

and in looking at what they are instead aligning themselves with, i say – with a heart, mind and body that remembers 9/11 – i dissent.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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the happy zone. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

there is a company that has captured my attention, a small family-owned business. i don’t own anything made by this company – yet – but every single time i browse through their website, i find myself completely happy. each product – floral sheets, boho skirts and pants, some trinkety trinkets i usually don’t purchase – every single thing textural and colorful – a kaleidoscope of happy – is an item of thoughtful and intentional beauty.

in these times, it would seem that a kaleidoscope of happy is mighty valuable.

the jalapeños at the farmstand (as well as the sweet peppers we photographed and purchased) have the same impact. such happy colors, so unassuming – just doing their i’m-a-pepper thing, delighting us.

the quilt on our bed is like that as well. the colors make us happy – year-round – and when the east sun streams in across the foot of the bed, there is not much that feels quite so reassuringly warm.

in an effort to – every now and then – not watch the news, we take to youtube to see whatever else is out there – thru-hikes, mountain summiting, house-buying, rockclimbing, rvs, van-life, restoration projects, bigfoot, tiny houses, zen videos – whatever will take our minds off what is actually happening – at least for a little bit of time.

there was a video of a guy who had distilled the ten most important things about cleaning out your stuff (which now goes into the same pile as my sentimental-people-getting-rid-of-stuff book and the intense konmari methodology). if you are looking for a dopamine rush, i suspect this is not the way.

anyway, on this video one of the things he said – which I’ve only heard about a zillion times before (though i do not heed it regardless of how many times i’ve heard it i-blame-my-mom) – is to not save things “for good”. instead, he encouraged using things that we have – clothing, china, heritage pieces or things just purchased.

we’ve been trying to do this lately – we have moved all the handed-down fenton hobnail serving pieces and the leaded glass bowls and such into places that are easy to access. instead of serving things in plasticware or ordinary stoneware, we now choose the milkglass hobnail for happy hour charcuterie or the crystal bowls for slices of cucumber and hummus. “use them,” i remind myself, “today is important.“

clothing is harder.

he urged – on the video – to not save clothing for fancy events – to just wear these pieces – perhaps consider that every day is a fancy event.

as a person who gets stuck in patterns of clothing-wearing (if you know me you are nodding here) this is much more difficult. i need to take the flowy boho pants of out my closet and put them on. i need to wear the oversized overalls, the daisy sneakers, the maxiskirt i got in colorado. other than an spf sunshirt i bought on $9.97 clearance at costco a couple weeks ago, i can’t remember what else i have bought in recent times – clothing-wise. oh…a pair of shorts, at the beginning of the summer. (i actually detest shorts now, but feel like i need to own a pair or two anyway.) though it doesn’t count as an article of clothing, my really colorful REI pride crossbody/waist pack has made it to the front of the class and i use it everyday walking or shopping…a piece that manifests happy as soon as i strap it on.)

anyway, i’m losing the point here – which was??? – oh yeah….wearing – and using – the things that make you happy.

likewise – if something does not make you happy – if it no longer fits into the picture of your life – you can give it away. this guy gives you permission (so do the author of the sentimental-people book and marie kondo and every other clearing-out guru).

which would suggest that if you see something that you know would make you happy, then you should consider getting it. (this is also a hard part for me – i know you are nodding emphatically here – as i am not a spontaneous shopper. always belabored by budget, conscience and indecision, i ponder and ponder and ponder before i purchase, if i purchase…)

but there are those gleefully happy floral pillowcases and those incredibly happy floral sheets and…

and maybe, just maybe, someday…

but first – practicing….things out, things out, things out….the gurus are clapping.

and in the meanwhile, before any things-in, the corked jalapeños and the sweet peppers will have to suffice.

they make the happy zone and join in my kaleidoscope of things-beautiful on this day…this important day.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

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just right. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

we had a field trip, an outing, a get-out-of-the-house, a jaunt. “yippee-doo-da!” we thought as we headed out.

it was to a couple of our favorite garden centers. we decided that we were on the the quest for a plant to place on an old painted-white column that is in our dining room. the column has been waiting for Just the right thing – feeling all forlorn and empty like no column should feel. and, after trying all kinds of other things – things from around our home, from in the basement, in the attic, things from outside in the garage, things, things, things…we finally knew what should go on it. a living plant.

we have two heartleaf philodendrons in our house – one that our girl gave me as a gift (that one is named “charlie”) and the second that i gave d on the occasion of our seventh anniversary (that one is named “seven”). we went searching for another – so that it could grow and vine its way around this 3’ tall column, next to the stack of vintage suitcases, just off from the dining room table.

i simply cannot walk around a nursery and keep my camera in my bag. it is impossible. the potential photographs are limitless – color exploding everywhere you look.

in particular this day were the coneflowers. in a big expanse of plant stands, they were in their glory, putting passive color charts – rightly – in their place. i was trying hard not to whip out my camera, but eventually i gave in.

i only took a few pictures, but these – “intense orange”, “hot coral”, “mineola-orange”, “orange-red” – were so vibrant i could not ignore them. ignoring them – missing their call – would be missing a breath. they were like the most extraordinary sunset – a sky full of coneflowers.

after wandering and touching and drinking it all in, we brought home a deep-forest-green heartleaf philodendron, named it “just right” and placed it on the column, which grinned.

we aren’t going far these days – keeping our old dogga company, making sure he is ok.

but it doesn’t take going too far to remind you of the glorious all around you.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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farmstand happy. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

standing in the outbuilding on the farm, we both felt a little bit gleeful. the sweet peppers in front of us were so, well, freaking happy. their glossy lime green, tangerine orange and lipstick red funky shapes just about did us in.

and that wasn’t the whole of it. there were mini white cucumbers and multicolored corking jalapeños, gorgeous tomatoes and giant squash, the freshest parsley and every kind of onion. it was just too much. we were ecstatic.

between the lettuce-elimination campaign and all the food recalls – in a country that seemingly doesn’t want us to actually eat – we have found a new way that isn’t new at all: the farmstands.**

in less than two weeks we have been to farmstands four times. we have loaded up with eggplant, zucchini and tomatoes from a tiny stand out a-ways and we already have a list to go back. we are just weary of the worry about produce coming in to grocery stores from places where some process or another has caused alarm about its food safety.

and we have a new source for lettuce too, so take that! you lettuce-spoilers. our town has a hydroponic grower who offers various lettuces (their butter lettuce is divinely fresh!) and microgreens we are anxious to try.

we spent labor day weekend food-prepping: quinoa tabouli, homemade tomato sauce, basil cubes (from the basil in our garden). we made spaghetii squash for the sauce, had eggplant and zucchini on last week’s menu, fabulously fresh tomato and cucumber sandwiches for lunch. it’s time to push back and eating from as much local as we can get is how we can do it.

they recognized us when we came back the second and third times and they suggested we consider a community supported agriculture food share (CSA) for next year. we’ll see. it’s a possibility and they could clearly see that in our exuberance – as we continue to ride gleefully on our farmstand wave of happy.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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** beaver creek gardens and funkin farm farmstands

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and here we are. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

early in the morning that day i was supposed to get on a flight south. i didn’t. it didn’t fly as scheduled. nothing was as scheduled.

way before the sun set that day everything was different. terror had reared its hideously ugly head and nothing was as it had been.

it is hard to believe it has been twenty-five years. it is way too easy to conjure up the emotion and grief of that day and the days that followed.

it is hard to believe the destruction that happened that day, the profound loss of human life, the dismantling of safety and trust. but the images stay in our minds, clear as the day it happened.

it is hard to believe the incredibly unifying moments – moments when people helped other people regardless of any social or cultural or economic or religious difference between them, moments when people reached out in love and earnest compassion, moments when rescue, when keeping each other safe and restoring some sort of sanity was paramount.

it is hard to believe that the magnanimity, the unselfish generosity, the steadfast dedication shown by emergency personnel and regular people has not been the irrefutable north star of all the populace since.

but here we are. in a country with an administration where goodwill has fallen to hatred and revenge, inhumane treatment of the people of this land.

and here we are – instead of taking – for the long term, the long haul – the lessons of interdependency, of humanitarian aid, of selflessness in a time of disaster, of caring about every each other, of respecting life, this administration has successfully shed any idea of goodness or kindness, thrust aside any efforts at unity, promoted hatred and divisiveness leading to the dismantling of families and friendships, communities and workplaces. and we – as a country – have been unable to carry forward those very unifying moments of that day and the days that followed, resorting instead to discord and schisms of pronounced chasmic size.

and here we are – with the official white house website hosting gameware that indoctrinates the children of this nation to heinous cruelty and bigotry and xenophobia, promoting the extremist “policies” of an administration bent on destroying democracy. not to mention all the other psychotic, narcissistic, pathologically-lying social media posts.

and here we are – a country with an administration that is absolutely ignoring any inconvenient legislation of the nation’s constitution, intent upon all things harmful and hurtful – to its people, the land, the resources, the water, the food, the health, the education, living conditions, safety and security. intent on all things ruinous.

“what we learn from history is that people don’t learn from history.” (warren buffett)

it was extremist mindset that besieged this country on september 11, 2001.

it is extremist mindset now.

it is hard to believe.

but here we are.

let us not forget that we are still capable of choosing to be those people – the ones who hold space for grief and loss, who actually learn from history and who opt for unity and the greater good.

it is what i hope for.

*****

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read DAVID’s thoughts this K.S. FRIDAY

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in the eye of the beholder. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

i didn’t save this pink rose.

but there is a very shriveled dried daisy-that-looks-nothing-like-a-daisy on littlebabyscion’s dashboard. there are a few daisies from our wedding in a vase in my studio. and the first rose he ever gave me is on top of a cabinet in the bedroom.

despite – or is it with? – its distinct bow to aging, this pink rose just became even more beautiful.

this week – while at the grocery store – we splurged and bought a new lotion. it is an anti-aging lotion, a lotion that will eliminate crepey skin, a lotion with a potion that will make us supple and glowing all over again.

ok, well, not really.

but we do need lotion to combat the dryness in the house while we run the ever-humming window air conditioner in the feels-like 104 degree weather. dogga rolls his eyes every time we turn it off for a spell – he is a dedicated a/c dogga. his aussie self loves winter but not-so-much summer; the “cold box” (as dogga calls it) is his pal.

so, particularly in these times – spending our time at home with our aging dogga – we “have the air on”.

on the outside of the lotion tube, under the words “age renew” and “crepe corrector” it unequivocally states, “82% had visible improvement in crepey skin in just 2 days.” and then there is an asterisk.

ahhh….the ever-present asterisk.

the 82% had visibleimprovementincrepeyskin on the back of their hands and arms.

hello???

what about the rest of our bodies?

the reviews list words like “transformative“, “fantastic product“, “you need this“, “worth the cost”.

one person wrote that her “creepy forearms look so much better.” eww. just the words “creepy forearms” make me shudder. i mean, check your spelling!

another person wrote that they were a “side sleeper” which, to my knowledge, has like zero to do with the efficacy of this lotion.

and then there was the person who is using this lotion but stated, “maybe it will prevent that crepe look from happening in the first place.” and the person who is “approaching [their] 40s and noticed aging on [their] neck.” goodness! poor dear.

clearly, there should be age restrictions placed on the purchase of this lotion.

we hold no lofty expectations for this. we simply want a product that will keep our skin more hydrated as we attempt to do the same with drinking-more-water.

we know there is – really – no turning back. lotions and potions and moisturizers and all-the-stuff wasn’t consistently budgeted in our lives so we will be more like the pink rose, bowing to what aging looks like.

but, in defense of the pink rose – and us – beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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drink it in. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

we moved the sweet potato vine from the ladder on the deck. between the heat and the rain, it was struggling. we weren’t sure it was going to make it, which seems odd for a sweet potato vine, usually pretty invincible.

no matter, we thought, it needed to be moved so that it might have a chance. we transplanted it into a bigger pot and placed it on top of barney – a spot with maybe a bit more sun.

and then we watched it.

with few green leaves still on the vine, we feared it would not last.

but that little sweet potato surprised us. with little-engine-that-could chutzpah, it soaked up the sun, its perch on barney, visits from squirrels and cardinals, house sparrows and finches. and it started to recuperate.

it greened up – into that really rich chartreuse – life-affirming lime-green fabulousness. more leaves sprouted their way from the vine that started to extend across the keyboard. it started to look thicker, more vibrant, even verdant.

and – in the way that we see things – we drank in the simple-but-outstanding gorgeous juxtaposition of green and aging piano wood. stunning.

it is certain. color can help.

with all the ugly in this world right now, we could stare at that for a time and breathe.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this TWO ARTISTS TUESDAY

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