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Category Archives: merely a thought monday


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revere real. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

three words stand out: weathered beauty. revered. a sign in the japanese garden section of the chicago botanic garden.

we walked around the 500 or so booths of the outdoor antique show held at the neighboring county fairgrounds. and we were drawn to the same kind of items, again and again. we are pretty consistent. we list to the things that are weathered.

it’s the tall peeling column we’d place in our living room somewhere near the peeling paint chunk of concrete that holds our iPod. it’s the galvanized metal work light on a tripod that would serve for reading in our sitting room somewhere near the old farm table, bits of barnwood showing through its white paint. it’s the old white porcelain coffee pot that would sit with the metal coffee pots on the shelf in our kitchen holding teabags. it’s the collection of glass doorknobs like every doorknob in our own home. we hold these things in esteem not because they are perfect, but because of their stories, because they are weathered, because they have patina, because they are real.

“you become. it takes a long time. that’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. but these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” (the velveteen rabbit – margery williams)

in these times, it would seem that Real would count most, regardless of age or stage or any other categorizing of any sort at all. it would seem – in particular – that it be most important that we choose people around us who have become Real, who are Real. it would seem obvious – absolutely and entirely obvious – that is where truth is found, where respect is valued, where perspective is honed, where conversation is possible, where progress has potential.

we need be mindful of what we revere, of whom we revere, for there is much pretending, much misinformation and misrepresentation, much that is truly Ugly in this world. Real is sometimes difficult to discern and aligning with Real can make one vulnerable to the scorn of others.

but Real is, well, real.

“once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. it lasts for always.”

*****

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we jump in. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“the thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” (anna quindlen)

and maybe that’s the true gift of the sweet phase. time to embrace it all; time to let it all go.

like the heggies pizza truck touted on the highway into minnesota, “uncomplicated. unapologetic. authentic.”

and so we jump in. with both feet.

well, after a nap or two.

we are suddenly aware of time ticking-ticking and we are aware that there will be a day when our stardust will simply return to the sky.

we speak of our ages now, unapologetically. we are-who-we-are authentic. our uncomplicated is a complex mesh of realness. nothing flashy, nothing fancy. simple stuff.

in the way that making history works, we know we started penning the autographs we will leave behind long ago. there are brilliant moments in the swirl of pen; there are shameful moments in the kerning. all are part of the whole. it’s clearly why we need a nap or two.

suddenly now, though, there is a stillness after everything that has come before. there is a bit of time to catch our breath. there is quiet and rest. there is acceptance.

we wake up from the disorienting hibernation-from-quietude of trying-to-get-it-all-right, the long immersion into striding-striding sans the perspective gift of rest, the push-pull of the aggressive nature of competition. we stretch achy joints and revel in the sun rising through the window. we take time to reflect, to ponder, to learn.

we glance in the rearview mirror and laugh at the deep creases around our eyes, choosing instead to focus on now and what is ahead. we release the breath we have held for so long.

we jump in, the concentric circles of our splash into the river rippling out.

“i’m sure not afraid of success and i’ve learned not to be afraid of failure. the only thing i’m afraid of now is of being someone i don’t like much.” (anna quindlen)

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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choose love. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

this time is fraught. there is not a lot of love going around. visit social media and you’ll see some pretty horrifically mean stuff. it never fails to surprise me what some folks are saying. like, wow….really?

in some ways it feels as if THINKING has stopped and REACTING has stepped in full force. under the guise of political prowess, it appears anything goes, yet, i wonder how many people are really stopping to think about the if-this-then-that of their staunch stances. dire ramifications are being ignored in deference to bandwagon chaotic rhetoric, mean-spirited pokes, two-sided mouth-talkers, atrocious meannesses. unimaginable backsliding cruelty fait-accompli project 2025/agenda 47 lays in wait, smugly enjoying the poverty of scutiny, the lack of reasoning. it’s sort of like everyone needs to go to time-out and THINK. critical thought is consequential. it is imperative. this IS an inflection point.

because – truly – this democracy is on the line. it is no longer ambiguous. it is no longer questionable. it is non-negotiable. it’s time to decide – where do we go from here? what do we really want for those who come behind us? what kind of country will this be? what kind of people will we be? who are we? who are you?

so, not too long ago, we took our penzey’s flag and hung it up on a spare old door we have sitting in the garden against the garage out in the backyard.

because “choose love” deserves to be flying (or, in this case, at least hanging.)

a reminder in a time – it appears – we all need reminders: are you choosing love? really?

if you need another reminder, watch lady gaga singing at baku 2015 european games opening ceremony. and imagine. imagine that here.

choose love. always.

*****

*thank you to bill penzey who steadfastly and bravely supports choosing love at all times.

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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and in the end, choose love.


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we kept on going. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

of course it would have been easier to turn around and go back to the car.

but the signs “caution: trail damage ahead” are familiar to us and we just kept on going.

then we saw the first of it. the river had overflowed its banks and covered the trail. i took a few pictures after we decided to keep going. i don’t have pictures of the worst of it. we were too busy navigating the water.

but, yeah, we could have turned around.

we didn’t.

it was a stunning day – really, remarkable out – and we had on sandals that were fit for the river. so we kept going.

we have watched countless pacific crest, appalachian, continental divide, colorado, arizona trail videos. and in all of them hikers are forging streams and rivers, slogging through water and mud. watching, i have wondered – in a mildly curious and very respectful way – what it feels like to encounter these water crossings and to keep hiking with wet socks, wet footwear. not that i haven’t ever walked through puddles – i’ve done that deliberately – but because continuing to hike means also trying to avoid blisters and such. twenty miles plus with wet feet is nothing to sneeze at. big kudos to those thru-hikers.

we looked at each other on the edge of the first flooded area – this particular day we had chosen this particular hike – and we kept going. we needed to. we’ve navigated worse trails in real life – a little water didn’t seem so daunting.

there were some bicyclists on the trail – they had already been through the worst of it. they gave us looks, asked us how we got through, told us they were turning around to avoid it.

but there is nothing like wet feet to cool you off. we hiked about seven miles or so that afternoon – through a lot of water – that reached our mid-calves. it was more than a little water. we were one with frogs and fish – all sharing the trail together. it was all pretty glorious.

keeping-on-going is something we’ve gotten pretty familiar with. not just on the trail.

you don the right sandals and the knowledge you can do it and most crossings are possible. going slow, keeping your balance, not minding discomfort, sloughing off the looks you get – when you are following your path – diligently aware, capable, trying your best – you can dog-with-a-bone keep-on-going.

it doesn’t mean you’ll not stumble. it doesn’t mean you won’t get wet or that you won’t get blisters from the experience. it doesn’t mean you’ll get to the other side without some surprises. there are no guarantees. edges are like that.

what it does mean is that you gave it your all.

we didn’t know how the flooded trail would turn out – how our hike would turn out – but we kept going anyway.

and that day it made all the difference.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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crown. no crown. the choice. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

crown (noun): a circular ornamental headdress worn by a monarch as a symbol of authority

and in this country, not one among us – no one – has any right to a crown. that’s what democracy is – we the people for the people – no monarch, no one above the law.

until now.

when suddenly, the supreme court has crowned the presidency – granted immunity to the position of president of the united states by declaring that presidents cannot be held criminally liable for laws broken as part of their official duties – incentivizing the unconscionable.

and suddenly, it’s no longer about democracy – where the rule of law applies to every person…every single person.

the last weeks have been mind-bogglingly distressing.

and where do we go from here?

we – the people – have some big decisions to make.

but the biggest one – the biggest decision – is simple:

america-the-democracy or maga-america.

it really boils down to: THIS AMERICA or THAT.

because the voting in of THAT would mean that THIS – this united states of america – would never look the same and THAT – the voting in of THAT – would be one of those profoundly devastating moments in history you look back upon where you can see that every single thing changed.

and we will – regrettably – be able to point to before and after. it will be unbelievably simple to plot the map that got us there.

for there is a very detailed plan for the demise of our democracy. it’s not secret. it is in plain view and every single person – who cares – has access to it. step by step it will strip away freedoms, respect for human rights and government by the people for the people.

we are in jeopardy.

THIS democracy is in jeopardy.

the crown is coming if we do not pay attention, if we do not raise awareness, if we do not talk about this, if we do not vote against it.

crowns do not belong here. except perched on the heads of little children blowing out birthday candles, young women celebrating quinceanera, drag queens or people at burger king.

****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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i don’t. at least, i didn’t. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

we overheard a conversation. a few teenage girls were walking together in the park, just ahead of us on the sidewalk. one turned to the other – in the middle of telling a story about a boy – and said, emphatically, that she told him, “i don’t know you like that.”

i texted it to myself, not because her specific boy-story was relevant to me in the moment, but because her statement was.

“i don’t know you like that.”

in these troubled and highly-charged times, it feels like a repeating chorus.

there are repeating-choruses – the kinds that are used to raise the spirit of a group of people together. repeating-choruses create shape, underscore the theme, the hook, or the important message. they encourage singing along. think about queen’s we will rock you or neil diamond’s sweet caroline or elton john’s your song, the beatles’ let it be. if you’ve ever been in a concert with everyone singing one of those songs, you know how powerful voices raised together are.

and then there are repeating choruses – the kinds that are used to raise the ire of a group of people together. those repeating-choruses also create shape. they are choruses of untruths, choruses of ferocity, choruses of bandwagon, choruses for ‘rushees’ rushing to get into an elite group to be popular, rallying choruses that make angry people part of a club. watching the insurrection in horror – live on television – with everyone chanting and screaming – no examples needed – gives you an idea of how powerful voices raised together are.

“i don’t know you like that” is the chorus that plays over and over in my mind. over and over i am aghast at the commentary of people – people i don’t know, people with whom i am acquainted, people i am friends with, people who are dear to me. it is personally devastating to see or hear their political positioning, as they sing repeated praises of what can only be interpreted as evil intent, and know what – and who – they are willing to sacrifice. what of those who will be marginalized, those who will be diminished, those whose lives will be upended, those who will not have freedoms promised to them, those they are supposed to love? i want to implore: but wait!! how is this possible? i don’t know you like that! i don’t know your good heart like that!

and media continues to beat the drum of propaganda. the ludicrous spreads. the people are gaslighted. and the choruses build.

the teenage girl in the park was clear. insisting “i don’t know you like that” dissuaded the boy and all of his attempts to spend time with her. we know this because we heard her story. it was simple. he had ill intent. she pushed back.

what will dissuade people from all the false narrative, the misinformation? what will reveal to them the cruel hidden-agenda-in-plain-view – the real plan for this nation that they are avowing with a maga vote for this? what will make those motives abundantly clear? what will make people less rabidly reactive, more discerning? what will make them listen, hear the truth? what will make them push back against this evil?

does it matter that i feel flabbergasted – shocked, really – and heartbrokenly distraught – by your apparent lack of concern for my gay son and his future, my daughter’s womanhood, every single “red and yellow, black and white” of any age, gender, orientation, socioeconomic status, religion, your lack of dedication to truth, justice, democracy?

and the toughest thing?

i don’t know you like that.

at least, i didn’t know you like that.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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whoop it up. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” (my sweet momma, but originally, john wesley)

my sweet momma would have loved his friends. like i mentioned in blogs last week, they – and strangers – surrounded us at PRIDE with hugs and conversation, bottles of water and gatorade. they laughed and danced and applauded and volleyed the beach ball. solicitous, they paid attention to those around them, even us. they made us feel like it mattered to them that we were there. it was fitting that one of our son’s friends wore this hat. doing good – being kind – choosing kindness without hesitation – seemed the theme.

it is surprising – with all the touting of goodness that is preached in various places on our globe, the pontificating about generosity that permeates, the statements of mission written and proclaimed in mighty boardrooms – that it is in the simplest of places that you find goodness. it is in the humblest of people you find generosity. it is in the groups – marginalized and demeaned – you find mission. it is sometimes just absolutely missing in those other places – the places where you would expect all of that. irony is alive and well. or would that be hypocrisy?

they weren’t tryyying to do good. they just were.

it takes just seconds to decide how to respond to someone else’s question, comment, action, behavior. in that moment – just before responding – i would hope – if at all possible – to choose to be kind, to do good.

my sweet momma loved to whoop it up at parades and concerts and sporting games. any chance to be boisterous and she’d take it. i can just imagine her at PRIDE – putting on a rainbow lei and a “do good” hat, waving her arms in the air yelling, “wowee!! wowee!!”

do good. easy peasy.

so much easier than being downright mean.

at least one would hope so.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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seeing. not seeing. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

i wear one contact lens. it’s in my left eye and it is to correct minor nearsightedness. wearing only one contact allows me to use my other eye to see close-up – to mostly be able to read without the aid of readers. somehow my brain figures this all out and i don’t have to close my right eye while driving or my left eye while reading – because all that would be awkward and weird.

clear vision – particularly at night in the rain with orange construction barrels and no streetlights and lane lines worn to little or no paint – is essential. it’s my least favorite set of circumstances to drive in, discounting white-out snowstorms and ice. it’s nice to be able to see.

and for those days when contacts are not working – the days of allergies or tired eyes – i have a pair of backup john-denver-glasses to don while driving. because it’s essential to see.

we just read the little prince aloud together. i don’t remember crying at the end any other time i have read this book. but this time i did.

as the prince’s soul was whisked away – his body dying on the earth by snakebite – back to his tiny planet where his tiny beloved rose waited – i wiped tears from my eyes.

this simple book – supposedly a children’s book but so much a necessary read-every-once-in-a-while adult’s book – was just the thing. the nature of love. of relationship. of responsibility toward each other.

the louisiana governor just declared that the ten commandments shall be displayed in every school in his governance. for heaven’s sake. how is it that we have become this narrow? for starters, how audacious he ignore every other religion’s tenets. this is not visionary. this is not seeing.

perhaps he would be better served to declare the little prince essential reading. he would be better served to encourage his populace to look with their hearts, to value the basics of goodness and fairness and loving one another. but in these days of politicizing every single thing, i guess he just decided to go with narrow bigotry to see where it might get him. narcissistic power is on the rise. as is the popularity of meanness and aggression. and the little prince shudders.

i’m pretty sure the little prince made me cry because of just that. there is so much – out there. we are hearing every single horrid thing. media is having a field day and it’s horrifying just to phone-scroll the “news”. what we see…what we find there…unconscionable.

instead, we will find the richness in the elderly woman pushing her walker on the trail, her son by her side, chatting. we will find the generosity in the gift of a garden flower. we will find kindness in the invitation of inclusion. we will find concern in the check-in text of an old friend. we will find hope in the little-less-lonely uplift of voice on the phone. we will find resilience in the planting of trees, the naming of stars, the grieving expression of loss. we will find forgiveness in time spent together. we will find healing in turning toward and not away. we will find love in another’s eyes.

the little prince – tiny, tiny. but with a giant and sighted heart.

we need to really look and see – what is transparent, what is truth, what is life-giving, what is equitable and not limiting, what is sustaining, what is fair, what is kind, what is loving – with clear eyes and whatever wisdom of the ages we might summon. we need to ponder and sort and be honest. what we may lose otherwise are the essentials. the basics. the geared-down actual heart of humanity.

read the little prince. you’ll likely weep a little.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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now. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

it doesn’t take a lot of hoopla or rigamarole or pomp-and-circumstance or hullabaloo for us. though it works for others, we are not pinky-out-martini-sipping-country-club-types or fancy-car-driving-cruisers or retail-zealots.

we sat yesterday – for the longest time – on our deck – in a perfect-temperature-world-morning with my sweet poppo’s old binoculars, watching the crows tend to their young in the high nest a couple yards over. we were enchanted with this sweet fledgling moving about, hopping on its nest and pushing the envelope of independence.

the day before, there were three turtles on our path. we hiked the long out-and-back trail, not intending to finish it. but the day was glorious and we were alive and we kept going. we stopped at each turtle to photo-shoot and have a little conversation. the message seemed clear…over and over. “patience and endurance”…from the bob marleys of the reptile world. “every little thing is gonna be alright,” they snap when we question them. “ok, ok,” we retort hesitantly. and then they line up another turtle further on down the path to try it again…“eventually,” the turtles think, “these dense people will get it.”

and mostly, we do.

about time – the movie – has an inordinate number of tenderly-wise moments. it is a mash-up of the-best-enjoy-life-lessons. it culminates with a quote from leading character tim who has the ability to travel back in time, “the truth is i now don’t travel back at all, not even for the day. i just try to live every day as if i’ve deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life.”

every time it makes me weep. really, both of us.

because dark chocolate chips (which morph into strawberry bark), turtles, bob marley and tim in about time don’t get it wrong. they clearly all get it right.

enjoy life.

now.

*****

read DAVID’s thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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ba da-da da-da da-da. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

“just kickin’ down the cobblestones. lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy…” (simon & garfunkel)

it would probably be easier to pick up the phone, call magical scraps in breckenridge, talk to jess and ask her to ship this sweet towel, but i’d much rather drive there, walk down main street, take a time in the oversized adirondack chairs on the sidewalk next to the coffeehouse, devour an ABCLT at breckfast, climb the steps to marigolds, hike up the mountain forest at the north end of town, watch the river go by and the bright sun floating.

then we could wander into magical scraps and admire the artisan handiwork there. and – ultimately – purchase this kitchen towel that we should have purchased when we first saw it. i mean, it’s just a towel. sigh.

i am not an impulse buyer so sometimes, well, things get lost in the shuffle of the decision. lots of times that is easy to correct – run back to the store, pull the website back up, click on purchase. but sometimes, it’s not as easy and the best solution – the most satisfying solution – is to get in the car and drive 1114 miles (and that’s not even our preferred route) to the door of the shop. yes, we are pretty dedicated to those mountains, that air. “life, i love you, all is groovy…”

breck doesn’t have cobblestones – that i have seen anyway – but it is our place to be kickin’ down the road, lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy. there are places you feel like you fit and places you feel like you don’t fit. sometimes, places you feel like you don’t fit at all – or even at all-all. those mountains and breck – well – we fit there.

“ba da-da da-da da-da, feelin’ groovy…”

peace out.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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