reverse threading

the path back is the path forward


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๐Ÿ’šheart-door people. [kerri’s blog on merely-a-thought monday]

in direct contrast with the front door we pass on our way to the trail – the one that says “go away!” – there are many, many “welcome” signs at the front doors, on the front stoops, propped against the porches of other homes. big wooden signs, rubber door mats, hanging signs – all varieties of these ‘you are welcome here’ messages.

we make assumptions about other places. we believe we are welcome – at grocery stores, in bistros, in boutique shoppes, in schools, in religious institutions, in galleries and museums. they don’t really need a sign because we believe that the whole purpose of their existence is to encourage people to come in, take part in what they offer – whether it is shopping, dining, browsing, studying, being in community – whatever their mission. and we believe that we will be welcomed with open arms, open hearts.

but there are go-away-ers out there, even those without signs of loud proclamation. they are uninterested, unmoved, closed, uninvolved, unquestioning, passive, complicit. they are not with open arms, open hearts. their apathy is clear; their aloofness is cold.

we passed the magical heart entrance to a tiny home inside the trunk of a tree. i was drawn to it, for – as we know – hearts are sometimes where we least expect them. but here it is…the way in, through a heart-door.

there are people each of us know who are heart-door people. the people who are always happy to see you, the people who never turn away from you, the people who hold you when you need holding, the people who listen when you need to talk. heart-door people are not found in one particular place – they are not simply gathered, waiting for you. instead, heart-door people keep their eyes open, their minds open. theirs are doors that open into empathy and compassion. they are the comfy quilts of our lives, the steadfast longtimers, the warm newbies, the balance-givers, the standing-by-you folks, the speaking-up-for-you truthtellers.

there is a big disparity between the go-away-ers and the heart-doors. sometimes it’s easy to see the difference. sometimes it’s not.

it’s important to learn good discernment.

and then, it’s important to be grateful for your heart-doors.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this MERELY-A-THOUGHT MONDAY

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the daffodil told us. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

and suddenly, there – in the midst of dried fallen leaves and fallowed underbrush, trees not yet ready to bud – there – there it was.

and it was simply in seeing it – the daffodil – that hope was evident. next is evident. tomorrow is evident.

anything right now will soon be before. the daffodil told us.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

SMACK-DAB. ยฉ๏ธ 2024 kerrianddavid.com

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buymeacoffee is a website tip-jar where you may choose to support the continuing creating of artists whose work touches you in some meaningful way. ๐Ÿ’—


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settled. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

a friend of ours wrote, “i feel like i’ve been searching for that place for a long time now.”โ€‚that place.โ€‚the place to call home.

i haven’t lived in a neighborhood that has underground wires.โ€‚on long island, in florida, in new hampshire, on island, here.โ€‚everywhere i’ve lived has had wires that stretch from telephone poles to places on the house.โ€‚cables parallel to the road, cables crisscrossing the backyard, cables running down the driveway.

i’m sure that living in a development without wires might look neater, cleaner.โ€‚certainly there would be no chance of wires downed in ice storms or big up-on-the-pole transformer explosions.โ€‚

but wires are what i know.โ€‚and the squirrels provide an extraordinary amount of entertainment using them as squirrel highways.โ€‚

would i rather it wireless?โ€‚probably.โ€‚but it’s home – even in that minor imperfection – and i feel settled – most of the time – here.โ€‚

i tried to explain it.โ€‚if i could choose a place where i would want to live – sans thinking about cost and such – i would likely not choose here.โ€‚other places call me.โ€‚the mountains, the coast.โ€‚but this is where i am right now and right now it is where i am.โ€‚

i suppose it’s where you place your focus.โ€‚

shortly, my brand-spanking-new medicare card will take effect.โ€‚it’s astounding.โ€‚conversations among friends are about where to live in this new time of life, paring down, perhaps downsizing, perhaps spending time in the year in a different locale, a different climate.โ€‚it has us thinking.

we continue to go through our house and donate, give away, sell, throw out things that are tucked into spaces on each level of our home.โ€‚this project will take a while.โ€‚there’s a lot of life to sort.โ€‚and, as we do, we re-imagine the space.โ€‚downstairs, we say, off to the side of david’s studio, on the street side of the treadmill and the bike, we’ll add some mats.โ€‚we’ll stretch down there and build our exercise programs.โ€‚the sitting room has become a cozy reading room and all our cds are now visible on shelves, easy access to playing music we love.โ€‚eventually, the kitchen will have a little cosmetic work.โ€‚though we have cooked thousands of meals in it as it is, a little refresh will go a long way.โ€‚we pine to be out back on our deck and patio, adirondack-chair sitting.โ€‚we see maybe a few more vegetables in our future.โ€‚we have some deferred maintenance projects to attend to.โ€‚

but we are in a place that makes access to other places easy.โ€‚we sit between two major cities, a very cool madison a third to our west.โ€‚we have two major airports nearby, a third down the road a piece.โ€‚we have trains that will take us to chicago if we don’t want to drive.โ€‚our city is growing and, though we don’t always agree with everything, it will continue to expand and more will be offered here.

would i choose it if i could choose from anywhere?โ€‚maybe not.โ€‚but this is where i am – where we are – and this – for right now – is where we are settled.โ€‚another day i may answer that differently, more vehemently dedicated to somewhere else.โ€‚

in the meanwhile, we’ll make adventures from this place.โ€‚and we’ll know we can always come home.

every time we pull away for a longer bit, i whisper to our house.โ€‚i’m guessing every time we pull back into our driveway, wires up above us running the lot line, it whispers back.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this D.R. THURSDAY

INSTRUMENT OF PEACE mixed media 48″ x 91″

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stuff you just don’t realize. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

we did a triple-feature of romance movies last night.โ€‚friday-night-date-night.โ€‚it was cold and rainy, too foggy and dismal to go anywhere.โ€‚we ordered fried rice and eggrolls and poured a little wine, settling in for a cozy under-the-blanket viewing.

there are sometimes these moments – moments when you just realize that you didn’t realize.โ€‚last night was one of them.

after the guy told the girl that the other guy had done “a take” – and after we figured out what the term actually meant – i looked over at d and asked him if he ever did that, ever does that – a take – of me.โ€‚his answer brought tears to my eyes.โ€‚

stuff you just don’t realize.โ€‚

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

SMACK-DAB. ยฉ๏ธ 2024 kerrianddavid.com

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my heart. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

whoa!โ€‚

i have opened so many boxes, so many bins.โ€‚i have done so many loads of laundry – tiny garments – all freshened and stacked on the dining room table.โ€‚there is still much to be done.โ€‚

every single thing i touch is a memory.โ€‚tiny onesies and fuzzy sleepers, footie pajamas and oshkosh overalls, polly flinders dresses and itty-bitty jeans, socks and booties way smaller than my hand.โ€‚

i was almost at the bottom of one of the dark blue plastic bins.โ€‚right underneath the storage-safe-plastic-encased christening gown was the last layer.โ€‚rattles and small hand toys, the smallest keds you’ve ever seen, stride-rite firsties and this teething ring.

it wasn’t just the teething ring, but it certainly contributed to it.โ€‚i was overwhelmed with a wave of nostalgia – wistfulness at its most tear-inducing.โ€‚i stood staring at it, wondering what to do with it.โ€‚naturally, this is not something you pass on.โ€‚this is not something that you necessarily put in your keepsake box, either.โ€‚but the power of it…

so i laid it on the worn basement floor – in the middle of the laundry room – the same laundry room that washed all these clothes from the time my children were born to this very day – when they are all grown up – that i am going through their infant and toddler clothes – and i took a picture.

and when i gather together all of these clothes – seeming mountains of clothing – to donate to a mission in chicago that gives people items they need for their families – for free – my heart will be full, thinking of other babies and children wearing these outfits that elicit so many memories and so much love.

and i know that someday the moms (or dads) who receive this clothing will also be paring down and passing down to others.โ€‚and something will stop them in their tracks.โ€‚maybe tiny booties, maybe a bib or the teeniest sleeper, maybe little leggings and a floral tunic, maybe a smocked dress or a little baseball slugger hat.โ€‚whatever it is, they will stare at it, surprised at its potency, grateful for its memories.โ€‚like me, they may take a picture.โ€‚like me, they may utter words of thanks.โ€‚ and then, like me, they will place it in a stack and pass it on.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING

SMACK-DAB. ยฉ๏ธ 2024 kerrianddavid.com

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it’s all situational. [kerri’s blog on d.r. thursday]

we’ve seen photographs of other places – not all that far from our house.โ€‚even 10, 20, 30 miles or so – maybe less – makes a difference.โ€‚instead of a bit of snow and a lot of ice like we have, there are inches of snow.โ€‚lake michigan and that ole windy jet stream has been wreaking havoc for every meteorologist around trying to accurately predict what to expect.โ€‚it’s all situational.

this past saturday was a fun day (notice my pained smirk here).โ€‚with ladders and buckets and decanters and water boiling on the stove and blow dryers we dealt with the ice damming issues that come with these sudden bursts of arctic air – the negatives.โ€‚it is never good to open the back door and be dripped upon before exiting the sunroom and going outside.โ€‚so, we took all our ice-damming know-how and experience and applied it, once again, to our gutters and roofline – particularly near the obstinate newer gutter outside the back door.โ€‚going back to maybe 2002 or even a bit earlier, i remember clearly being on the ladder out there with a long hose extending to the basement laundry tub, attempting to melt the overlayer of ice to allow the gutter to flow.โ€‚so it is clearly a tradition at our house and not an unexpected sight; our eastneighbors never even said a word as they passed by.โ€‚one never knows when this is going to happen and some years are luckier than others.โ€‚the conditions are specific and, even with heating cables tucked into the gutters, there are unlucky days here and there.โ€‚it’s all situational.

and so, we have a polka-dotted patio – with slushy-ice making little circles – making us think of the ice circles that form in lake michigan under certain circumstances.โ€‚a bit of snow has now accumulated on the grass out back and the birds who remain here to winter are occupying the ornamental grasses – eating seeds that remain there, alternating between the grasses and the birdfeeder.โ€‚i wonder about a way to warm the water in the birdbath so that there is some fresh water for them to drink.โ€‚they seem happy, flitting about, despite the freezing cold and wind.

it will be another hearty dinner night.โ€‚something warming, soup or chili.โ€‚this cold snap is going to last a few more days.โ€‚i suppose we could go out hiking in snow-covered woods, but the treadmill and the bike call our names from the basement and we wuss out.โ€‚we plan on adding to our little gym down there – maybe a few mats for stretching exercises as well.โ€‚there are certainly circumstances during which we’d rather be in our none-too-fancy-but-climate-controlled basement than outside in the frigid air.โ€‚it’s all situational.

and even though we glance at the temperatures in other corners of the world – and people taunt us with screenshots of weather with 75ยฐ and that silly sun icon – we are glad to be here.โ€‚managing the challenges of the cold weather, soaking up the comfort of a warm home, watching the seasons as they seemingly fly by.โ€‚it is all situational and we remember to be grateful for this – our situation.

*****

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in the mirror. [kerri’s blog on k.s. friday]

and when it comes to the end of the year – already – and we gaze into the shiny brite mirror of the year that has passed, what do we see?

on either december 31 or january 1 we will take out the calendar – the one i write in with mechanical pencil – every day – a few words jotted down, a tale of the day, a meal, a quote, a visit, an appointment, some moment i wish to remember.โ€‚and we will sit with it in the light of happy lights and christmas trees.โ€‚

each year it is a journey – through that which we recall and that which we have forgotten.โ€‚each year we find a treasure.โ€‚each year we find something courageous.โ€‚each year we find generosities that have sustained us.โ€‚each year we find days that were hard and days that were easy.โ€‚days of strength, days of weakness.โ€‚we find sadnesses and unexpecteds.โ€‚we find decisions and repairs.โ€‚we find frogs and hawks and eagles.โ€‚we find challenges of spirit and heart.โ€‚we find recipes that have nourished us.โ€‚

we head into the new year – just a couple days away now – reflecting, ruminating – with thoughts of what to do differently, what to change, what to let go of, what to hold onto.โ€‚we wish to be better, do better, feel better.โ€‚we set intentions.

and – in looking in the mirror – we are harsher than we need be.โ€‚we forget some of the rest.โ€‚the moments inbetween all the lines in the calendar.โ€‚the ordinary.โ€‚the giving.โ€‚the grace.โ€‚the laughter and the light.โ€‚the things i didn’t jot, didn’t remember to journal, or wanted to just simply let simmer in my heart without being written down.โ€‚

we wake – in a couple days – in a new year.โ€‚each day a ridiculously big gift.โ€‚beyond all else.

“may you recognize in your life the presence, power, and light of your soul…” (john o’donohue)

happy new year.

*****

GRATEFUL from AS IT IS ยฉ๏ธ 2004 kerri sherwood

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these gifts. [kerri’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

it is impossible to not feel it.โ€‚it swirls around us.โ€‚it stirs us.

this season.โ€‚a season of light and hope and generosity, a season of consideration and thoughtfulness and compassion, a season of simplicity and complexity, a season of love and grace and possibility.โ€‚a season of deep gratitude.

we sit still – eyes closed – and take it in.โ€‚

wishing you these gifts now.โ€‚wishing you these gifts every day.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this SATURDAY MORNING SMACK-DAB

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SMACK-DAB. ยฉ๏ธ 2023 kerrianddavid.com


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curling ribbon. [kerri’s blog on two artists tuesday]

wrapped for the holidays, nature put her best curling ribbon on this stalk, replicating it all over the meadow for us to see and appreciate.โ€‚clearly, giftwrappers and bauble experts everywhere must be jealous of the ease with which nature decorates herself – always minimalistic, always beautiful.

for a smidge of time, i was hired – long, long ago – as a holiday giftwrapper at a beall’s department store in florida.โ€‚i spent shifts of hours wrapping the unwrappable – really one of the reasons why people have their gifts wrapped at the store.โ€‚now, there are folks (having gifts wrapped) who just prefer to have everything done-and-done by the time they pull in their driveway, but most of the time it was the unwieldy that was brought to the service desk, the customer wide-eyed with wrapping trepidation.โ€‚

i did my best, but i was no wrapping maven and had not yet learned any of the wizardry of the wrap.โ€‚nevertheless, the customers seemed pleased, if only not to have to do-it-themselves.

in the years when our children were young – for reasons i still cannot figure out – we saved all the wrapping-of-presents (including stocking stuffers) for the night of christmas eve.โ€‚there we were, in the middle of the dining room – having retrieved bags and boxes hidden all over the house – trying to quietly cut paper and wrap assorted gifts of all sizes and shapes – while our children were upstairs in their beds gazing out the window watching for signs of santa and his reindeer in the night sky.โ€‚we’d leave christmas music on and close the swinging dining room door and the living room bifold doors into the hall, trying to disguise – or at least muffle – the clear sound of scissors meeting paper, hoping that the fact that it was quickly approaching the wee hours – like 2 or 3am or so – would mean they would have fallen fast asleep, dreaming of the next morning.

in later years – for the most part – i wrapped earlier, not saving it all for the elves-of-the-eve to desperately try and wrap as quietly as possible.โ€‚though in later years the pressure of the magic was lessened, so quiet wasn’t quite as necessary.

in the latest years, we’ve had to ship presents.โ€‚the boy and the girl who used to live upstairs live elsewhere and are not always home for christmas.โ€‚it changes the landscape of the holiday.โ€‚immensely.โ€‚facetime never equals real time.โ€‚and the holiday is quieter.โ€‚

to say i miss those days of reports of reindeer and rudolph’s nose lighting the starry sky would be an understatement.โ€‚to say i miss putting out carrots and milk and cookies would be an understatement.โ€‚to say i miss twinkling lights reflecting on the faces of my children – as infants, as toddlers, as children, as teenagers, as young adults – would be an understatement.โ€‚to say i miss the chaos after midnight on christmas eve would be an understatement.

but time marches on.โ€‚and every year things change.โ€‚i peruse social media – seeing multiple stockings waiting on the mantels of people far and wide, stacks of presents under trees, gatherings and family parties – and i silently send my children a wish of love and light and joy.โ€‚we hike on treasured trails and pass by nature’s curling ribbon and i’m reminded over and over of the miles of curling ribbon i’ve curled, the stuffed stockings under our trees over the years, the small mountains of wrapped packages, giftwrap strewn across the floor.โ€‚

and i am grateful.โ€‚this holiday may be minimal in its festivity.โ€‚but, sitting in the darkened living room with trees and branches and twinkling lights, holiday music or silence, cards to send out and presents to wrap on the dining room table – curling ribbon at the ready – it is no less beautiful.โ€‚it is just different.

*****

THE LIGHTS from THE LIGHTS – A CHRISTMAS ALBUM ยฉ๏ธ 1996 kerri sherwood

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a couple SMACK-DABs for the season:


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shabbat shalom. [kerri’s blog on not-so-flawed wednesday]

i don’t have track one on repeat – yet – but soon.

george winston’s thanksgiving from his december album…exquisite. a meandering of thought, a creek of familiarity. listening to that piece float around me is the same as hiking this trail – so well-known, so beautiful, so close i can feel it when i shut my eyes.

it is snowing as i write this. i am under a quilt and can see outside – the squirrel on the birdfeeder, the grasses bending from the weight of snowfall, barney’s keys covered. everything is quiet. there is peace – for a few moments at least – while i listen inside to the trail and the reverb of george’s piano.

she said, “it’s time for you to rest. find a way. a sabbath.”

sometimes shabbat is easy to find – when all is lining up in the world. sometimes, this rest is harder to find. we are embroiled in all life’s angsts, all life’s slights, all the uphills, the sudden falls. to take the time seems self-indulgent. we are wary of the judgement of others.

but tired is tired and it is neither needy nor indulgent nor irresponsible to – metaphorically – lay one’s head down.

the trail – particularly in its known-ness – grants rest. it teases with ever-so-slight changes – the turtles which were once sunning are burrowed, the meadow-flowers which were once bloomed are dried, the trees which were once leafed are devoid.

george’s thanksgiving – in its known-ness – grants rest. it teases with a pause here, the lingering of a harmonic there, melodic gestures of lift.

both – individually and in repetition – grant shabbat shalom. sabbath. and i am grateful.

*****

read DAVID’S thoughts this NOT-SO-FLAWED WEDNESDAY

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